• Ivy Raven
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    1 year ago

    Personal experiences will always vary too. I’m sadly a non-passing trans woman who identifies as a lesbian. Saying it’s been impossible to find someone who would want to be with me is… putting it nicely. Some of that struggle is not tied into being trans, but my trans-ness is the thing they will interact with first and it has always meant they pass. But again this is just my own experience.

      • Ivy Raven
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        1 year ago

        At this point I’ve had to give up on love. Sure it’d be great but I’m a realist. At least I’m not an incel lol No one owes me a relationship.

      • Ivy Raven
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        1 year ago

        I’m not really sure. It’d depend on their personality and such since I have no sexual attraction to penis which means sex is a no. Which is the same issue that a cis lesbian is going to have and I am understanding of that. Other elements impact it that have nothing to do with a person trans status or lack of.

        I’m not saying all cis lesbians are out there shitting on trans women. It’s honestly likely a minority. But they are going to seek out a partner that matches their personal criteria and I’m understanding of that.

        • María Arias de Reyna@floss.social
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          1 year ago

          @IvyRaven @Kolanaki
          I have no idea how far you are on the transition and how far you want to/can go. But if you feel inadequate, know that there are plenty of sapphic women out there that won’t mind your passing.

          If you truly have a hard time, maybe the bisexual community will be more welcoming for you? Not that they will see you as a man, but that they are used to be attracted to more masculine features, no need to be perfect passing (as if that existed) to get our interest.

          • Ivy Raven
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            1 year ago

            Appreciate that. I should try to get back out there but it’s a hurdle I can’t get past. My transition has stalled out due to a bunch of physical and mental health issues. And as a jobless shut in it’s basically impossible to address those issues where I live. I’ve got a lot of good qualities but yeah the bad feel like no one could deal with. But that’s just my opinion.

            • apis@beehaw.org
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              1 year ago

              Can’t give particularly relevant insight, as a cis-seeming biromantic who was asexual until recently, but in my experience, people aren’t nearly as rigid in their sexuality, romanticity or gender as society would have us believe. It seems many use specific terms as shorthand descriptors for themselves, but are surprisingly open to broader ways of being.

              Verging on elderly now, so lived through the time when very little of this was stuff most of us could name, still less go into detail about, and I don’t mean to suggest that it is anything but hard for anyone who falls outside the bellcurve(s), but there will be people out there for you whom you also find attractive.

              Wishing you all the best with your health, and with your return to your transition. Hold on to that sense that you have a lot of good qualities.