• Technus@lemmy.zip
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    7 months ago

    If a cute goblin woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn’t say no.

    • Zozano@aussie.zone
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      7 months ago

      I mean, cute in a 2D depiction, with a lot of detail missing, but think of the reality of the situation.

      Probably smells like shit, literally. Bathes as frequently as she hunts fish.

      Probably has no idea what a toothbrush is, chunks of meat stuck between teeth until the enzymes in her saliva break it down over weeks.

      Anatomically incompatible, probably.

      • Technus@lemmy.zip
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        7 months ago

        Bro, the genre’s called fantasy for a reason.

        Why you gotta ruin my dream of finding someone who loves me for myself? Unrealistic though it might be…

        • SpeakingColors@beehaw.org
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          7 months ago

          If that’s the same criteria you use for looking for that someone, and you proceed with an open and courageous heart: it won’t be a dream.

          And I would say that we have general artistic conventions of depicting elements the previous commentor suggested: smell lines, meat in teeth, etc… Their absence from the scene leads me to believe the commentor’s interpretation is far from the artist’s intentions.

          • Technus@lemmy.zip
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            7 months ago

            I appreciate the heartfelt advice but I’m mostly just riffing.

            My real problem is that staying home and playing video games is less work and more immediately gratifying than getting out and trying to meet someone, but I recognize that complaining about that just means I’m trying to have my cake and eat it too.

            • exocrinous@startrek.website
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              7 months ago

              Wouldn’t it be eat your cake and still have it? Typically you have cake before you eat it, but you don’t have cake after you eat it. So the eating would go first in the sentence, right? Unless the saying is that you want to have your cake after eating it. Either way you gotta use a word that implies the directional flow of time, because technically you do have cake for most of the duration that you’re eating it.

              • Technus@lemmy.zip
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                7 months ago

                Wouldn’t it be eat your cake and still have it?

                The idiom is generally phrased “have your cake and eat it too” but yeah that’s rather confusing. The way you said it is how I actually understand it in my head.

                I think the way English Common has evolved doesn’t help either, because “to have” is now synonymous with “to eat” in the context of food, but I don’t think it was that way when the idiom was coined. It’s actually about 500 years old according to Wikipedia.

      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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        7 months ago

        you’re aware humans have existed in the wild for millions of years and we regularly fucked other human species, ye? and people can be in relationships without having sex.

        Goblins that are capable of intelligent speech and understanding and desiring the concept of a husband are well within the limits of acceptability.

      • Kedly@lemm.ee
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        7 months ago

        I mean, the many half races in DnD implies that most races arent anatomically incompatible

      • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Fiction can be whatever you want it to be. There’s no Right way to depict fantasy races/creatures.

      • exocrinous@startrek.website
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        7 months ago

        Bathes as frequently as she hunts fish.

        Bruh she has two toned hair and it looks good. That woman knows how to use hair dye well. I bet she bathes every day. Or every second day, goblins probably have healthier bathing habits than humans. Humans are so obsessed with cleanliness they don’t give their bodies time to apply its own natural measures. You’re not supposed to wash your hair with shampoo every day, you’ll damage it. And no conditioner above the neck. Your hair’s natural oils will come in and you’ll have healthy locks that shine. Constantly stripping your hair’s natural oils away will just make you dependent on shampoo and conditioner.

        • Zozano@aussie.zone
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          7 months ago

          Does your doctor prescribe your copeium, or is it synthesised in your bathtub?

      • pjnick@ttrpg.network
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        7 months ago

        Clean shaven arms and legs, combed hair (with highlights?), and an earring all imply that the goblin does care about and maintain her hygiene/appearance

    • Swordgeek@lemmy.ca
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      7 months ago

      If a cute goblin woman wanted to claim me as her husband, I probably wouldn’t say no.

      FTFY

      • KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        7 months ago

        The average goblin is about 3 to 3.5ft. And you can’t really tell a goblins age by looking at them. Admittedly, they reach adulthood at ~8 years old, but they live to 60.

        You’re reaching, and it’s kinda creepy.

      • Lowlee Kun@feddit.de
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        7 months ago

        Sad truth is, the government does not care about the wellbeing of goblins. Shameful.

        That said, i do not see a mention of age.

      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
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        7 months ago

        i will never understand the idea that human age limits would apply to a completely different species, if they’re fully mature and capable of consent at 9 years old then that’s their age limit, we don’t get to impose that on their species.

        Should we stop birds from getting it on with each other because they mature within a year or two? I think they might take offense to that, and i don’t want to face an angry goose.