This is why I don’t fuck guys who “don’t pay attention to politics”.
That means one thing, and it isn’t that they are blissfully unaware of the day to day happenings in their town, county, state, region, country, or planet of residence.
Eh, sometimes it means another thing, namely that they know their conservatism is off-putting to most women and they’re lying to get you into bed.
That’s exactly what OP is saying
I was responding to the previous comment, not OP. OP was saying conservatives get upset when people won’t sleep with them because they’re conservative. From the text of the comment I responded to, it looks like the person is saying “moderates” just don’t care about anyone but themselves. I’m adding that often the people the actual OP is talking about pretend to be the moderates the previous commenter is discussing.
The person you responded to initially is talking about conservatives hiding that about themselves lol. That’s why they said it the way they did.
It depends on why they don’t pay attention to politics. Personally, I kind of have to go ostrich-mode and bury my head in the sand when school gets stressful because I just don’t have the mental bandwidth to deal with both. I’m not going to judge someone too harshly for protecting their mental health from the absolute shitshow that is the American political landscape.
PS: This is not to say that any degree of modern conservatism is okay. Bigots can go fuck themselves and I’d be out punching Nazis and being a medic at protests if it didn’t jeopardize my future so significantly. (Felony convictions make it really hard to get a medical license and I have to pay off my student loans somehow. Besides, I’ll be in a much better position to make a meaningful difference as a physician than as a heavily indebted student or EMT.)
this. you can pay little attention to politics without being a “centrist” who isn’t actually a centrist. news can be depressing as fuck, i’m hella glad i strongly limited my consumption of them, but that doesn’t mean i’m gonna start both-sidesing shit. (with the exception of tankies vs nazis, because those two are in fact the same authoritarian, anti-west, bigoted crap under different flags that love to larp against each other)
That’s what centrism is supposed to mean anyway. You don’t have to go into the whole both-sides-are-bad nonsense to be a centrist.
This is my go-to response whenever anyone wants to start talking politics with me. Mainly because whenever someone wants to talk politics it’s usually not because they’re liberal and I really hate talking with people who just want to prove that their opinion is the right one.
I’ll admit I’ve used it for similar reasons. What I really should be saying is “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk about this right now.” Maybe I’ll even be brave and say “I don’t want to talk about this with you.” but it’s rare for me to find a person I don’t want to hear at all from. That usually comes up because they’ve already made their arguments, and I’ve already accepted or rebuttal the points to my own satisfaction. At that point they’ll talk themselves into circles looking for justification for parts of their stance, but unable to articulate it themselves. I’ll listen to anyone’s views at least once, given I’m in the right mindset, but I still wouldn’t date someone I don’t morally agree with. Life partners should have higher standards than conversation partners, and aligning values is a bare minimum for relationships.
Ayy gurl, I love politics.
Ayyy!
Ayy lmao
OMG your lower forehead is so "sexy 😍😍😍😋😤!! !
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In my experience, that’s the case 100% of the time. I’ve never once in my 30+ years heard a liberal say the same thing. It’s always
NazisRepublicans trying to deflect and sweep their shitty views under the rug because they think it’s some kind of trump card to get around their awful views and have civilized society allow them back in so they can spread their hate.I mean I was apolitical for most of my life, honestly. Barely followed news at all. It’s just depressing.
No offense, but that’s exactly why we’re currently fighting fascism in America: apathetic folks like you that don’t care. Do you vote ever?
you know just like the “i’m apolitical” copout, there’s a similar copout along the lines of “well i voted (and didn’t do shit all other than that), so my hands are clean”.
Voting is the bare minimum, but if all you do is vote, you’re still a much better person than folks that don’t vote. If you get involved beyond that, even better. But absolutely nothing beyond just fucking voting is required to get involved, but most of the young folks still don’t vote.
I’m not a citizen: I can’t vote.
So why are we having this discussion?
You started the voting thing. I merely said I was apolitical.
I think there’s a difference between someone who doesn’t pay attention to politics and someone who just doesn’t want to argue politics. Someone who doesn’t pay attention to politics at all is too sheltered and doesn’t understand the issues that have been going on and affect a lot of people, so a lot of those people don’t want to date someone who won’t be able to understand something vital to them and that has an effect on their lives. Especially since someone who hasn’t been paying attention likely doesn’t have a lot of the same principles and beliefs.
This 100%. To not care about politics means to not care about how the entity with a monopoly on violence wants to take your money against your will and allocate it. If you don’t care about that, then you and I are not going to get along.
wants to take your money against your will and allocate it
Speak for yourself
I pay my taxes with a smile because they mean my neighbours won’t ever be likely show up at my door to steal from me when they don’t have enough to eat. And that my brother can have his cancer treatments without paying the insane costs associated with those treatments. And that my mother can enjoy her garden for the last 20 years of her life instead of working until she croaks.
I bartend. I was working on Easter, and one of our semi regulars came in with a guy that she was obviously on a drink date with. They’d been at at least one other bar before they came in; they’d had a couple drinks, but weren’t past maybe tipsy.
At one point, she mentioned that the reason the last place they’d been to was slow was likely that it happened to be Easter. At the mention of the word the guy interrupted with,
“I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT ANY POLITICS OR RELIGION!!”
To me this was a sign that this dude cared very much about religion and politics, but just like how scientologists don’t drop the Xenu shit on you right away, he wanted to wait until any prospective partner was in too deep before revealing how abhorrent his views are.
That regular isn’t my favorite person, but I was proud of her for pretty much ending that date after that.
Yeah, that’s another one of those.
I’ve never had anyone who said politics and religion aren’t good conversation actually be worth having those conversations with. Everyone else from every other walk of life has no problem having a nuanced conversation about that stuff, it’s only ever WASPs that get all indignant and force everyone else to stop talking.
One of my coworkers had asked something about trans people and bathrooms, and I started to say my piece, but mid sentence the owner comes back like “under no circumstances are you allowed to have this conversation here”.
Oh yeah, so threatening to say that I don’t care who is in what bathroom if they don’t do anything that violates another guests bodily autonomy.
So controversial and brave.
We’ve spent plenty of time talking about the different racist inspired restaurants in the area and the deplorable dog whistle specials they offer, never cared about that offending anyone.
The restaurant in question was the MoonCricket Grille, and they were offering $0.49 Bud lights after the outrage about them in honor of the 49 who died at the Pulse nightclub.
I hate this place…
That’s literally a bar rule. Lol. Alcohol makes people talk like they are on the internet in real life. Doesn’t make sense to discuss nuance when you’ve been drinking especially with the touchy subjects.
Alcohol makes people talk like they are on the internet in real life
fucking lol
Alcohol makes people talk like they are on the internet in real life
fucking lol
Eh, not necessarily. It could mean a variety of different things
Or they’re pretending to be blissfully unaware, but secretly hate you for being an independent woman.
Good lord the replies to this are sad. Believe it or not it’s a perfectly reasonable expectation to only want to date someone whose core beliefs align with yours (and, y’know, actually respects your rights as an independent human being.)
“in looking for a woman who will respect my core beliefs as an independent human being, which include not treating her like an independent human being”
As someone with a right-wing father and a left-wing mother: for fuck’s sake date people with your same beliefs. Deep disagreement on something like that is NOT something you can build a trustful relationship upon.
Holy shit, I can’t imagine being in such a relationship even just for a small amount of time. Having kids with someone I fundamentally disagree with is just on another level.
I guess if you’re not into politics/news at all, it can kind of happen. 🤷
Admittedly, we’re not in the US so the divide is much smaller, but Jesus Christ listening to them arguing over half the stuff that came up on TV has definitely not been a pleasant experience.
This is what so many of them think. If they really don’t have a problem dating someone left leaning it either means they get off on tearing down strong women or don’t really know what they believe and are still just parroting mommy and daddy’s beliefs.
There are a lot of trad women looking for these dudes, it’s just that these dudes are often… rather undesirable for other reasons
It’s fine to have dating preferences. The issue is when people who are just calling anyone who is conservative leaning terrible. If you don’t agree with someone’s political ideology, you should just respectfully disagree, not call them a terrible person.
Also, calling people evil for their options is a terribly way to convince them to change, it just makes them get really defensive. If you want to convince someone to change opinion, you need to have a respectful, insightful discussion.
The meme here didn’t even call anyone evil. That said, if you guys don’t want to be called evil, stop supporting evil shit.
Conservative policies not only rob women of the rights to their own bodies, it gets them killed too. Either conservatives openly support this or they’re somehow too naive to see what the politicians they vote for are doing, and both are good reasons for women to stay the hell away from them.
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Just being conservative leaning doesn’t mean you are far right, and agree with everything the conservative party does.
what else are they doing that you’re for? please be specific
I’m genuinely curious what reason someone has to support them. Like genuinely. I look at Republicans and am like how the fuck can anyone that isn’t rich and in power be on that side? And then I remember the very potent tactics of fearmongering
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Being conservative learning doesn’t mean you want to oppress people. It means you want less government regulation.
I hate to tell you this but that is the definition from like 30 years ago. If you look at their behavior now, they do the exact opposite (see basically any policy they’ve passed in the last 2 years)
The news will only show what makes you the most angry. Here is an unbiased list of republican bills that were passed. Just because you see the extremes of a group more, doesn’t mean that everyone in that group is extreme.
It’s not the numerous postal service designations that people are pissed at though. It’s the bills that are making my friends flee the state that people are rightly pissed at. Not every republican is an extremist, but the extremists have control over the party and the rest of the party seems completely fine with them at the wheel. Either it’s extreme apathy or tacit agreement.
except for of women’s bodies, more of that please
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Depends on the specific person. I totally agree that discrimination of minorities shouldn’t be allowed. You can be conservative without being racist.
But being racist isn’t an automatic loss of a vote for most conservatives. Sure - You can be conservative and not racist, but if you are voting for conservatives who are racist… What is the difference?
What exactly is the GOP doing that is racist? Isn’t racism explicitly unconstitutional? If a candidate was racist, I wouldn’t vote for them.
But I haven’t seen explanations for what they do that is racist. It’s just people who are calling them racist, and saying you’re dumb if you don’t think they’re racist.
Well it’s a bit difficult to “respectfully disagree” when someone wants to take away my rights.
Being conservative doesn’t mean you want to take away people’s rights.
Okay that’s great you don’t support that but the party you say you support is doing exactly that.
I don’t support any party. But I do support not attacking people based on their opinions.
What are your opinions? Who is attacking you?
Conservatives aren’t evil, but they are bad cooks, and worse lovers.
Conservatives don’t clean their own underwear, and they cheat in CS:GO.
That has nothing to do with conservatism.
I think they know that. It’s a joke
How do you have a respectful or insightful discussion with someone uninterested in being respectful or having insight?
How do you explain the suffering caused by separating children from parents at the border to someone who doesn’t see those people as human? To someone who thinks they deserve to suffer for existing in the wrong color of skin? At what point do you call a spade a spade?
If they’re uninterested in respectful discussion, then you should just leave them alone.
Would you like to know my opinion on those things?
We should definitely make the legal immigration process easier. But we shouldn’t just allow people to immigrate illegally. And you shouldn’t be separating families without a good reason, and it shouldn’t be for very long. A few hours is okay, but if you need go longer than 24 hours, you should give them chances to see their family.
Your skin color doesn’t matter, it should be irrelevant to basically everything. (Also, what was the last law passed that was racist? Because isn’t that completely unconstitutional?)
And no one should suffer. But that’s a really hard goal to reach, and so we do end up with a lot of compromises.
I’d be happy to have a civil discussion over these subjects. All I ask is we don’t call anyone evil, just for being in a particular group.
What if they’re espousing, either directly or by association, terrible things? Is that not the appropriate time?
Conservatives are actively supporting the oppression of LGBTQ people, however, and voting for far-right politicians
Not everyone who has some conservative opinions wants to oppress people and vote for far-right politicians.
The comments under that vid are fucking hilarious. If I go any further left I’ll fall off the universe, but I also live a self-reliant life in the forest where I chop my own wood, fetch my water from a creek, run and maintain solar installations, and treat my wife like the wonderful human she is. All while being the traditional provider and ‘manly’ man. My truck is big, because it needs to be when you are building a house and homestead with your own hands.
And all these parking lot cowboys in their spotless lifted trucks think that these values are ‘theirs’. Get fucked losers.
Call that the free market economy biiiaaatch
Conservatives: “The free market is superior! Deal with it!”
Conservatives when the free market decides against them: “THIS IS LITERALLY SOCIALISM”
People boycotting businesses as is their right in the free market: “CANCEL CULTURE!”
Conservatives hate the free market when it tells them that they’re free to go take a long walk off a short pier.
The last conservative I matched with was immediately bragging about being unvaccinated, was in his late 30’s, openly religious, desperate for kids.
If you’re openly conservative, you’re baring your soul about women’s rights, and if women don’t want to sleep with you as a result, you made your damn bed.
I almost dated a conservative but covid saved me.
The moment it hit, her conservative powers went omega level and I was able to dodge a bullet by wanting to vaccinate early
Why would anyone date a conservative, it isn’t safe?
Even if it was safe like ew you don’t believe in equality that’s just unattractive af
Your username indicates you don’t do much dating of men… (Not that it invalidates your point)
Women can be conservatives too. Still gross.
Margorie Taylor Green fits in here. shudders
It’s a long-lost heteronym: Woe, man.
There are absolutely conservative queer women, they’re very much not the sort of person you want to date
Yeah. Regardless of what actions they personally take, they do advocate and vote for your death.
Imagine dating someone whose beliefs actively belittle you.
Well, Republicans tend to vote for policies that go against their own self-interests if they get boogeyman’s enough by Tucker and Donald, so it wouldn’t surprise me that there exist Conservative women who date against their own self interests.
Being ok with being conservative is akin to being ok with being stupid. It’s basically an admission of idiocy.
No. Stupid isn’t something you choose. As an adult, bigotry absolutely is.
Ignorance is a choice, too. I’ve met so many people who are proud of being ignorant. I once met a woman who was in her mid 30s who was explicitly against learning new things because…reasons?
Ignorance can be something you choose, but only if you’re actually smart enough to make the choice.
Stupid is as stupid does.
Gonna have to agree to disagree on that one, barring very different understandings of the word “stupidity.” Cognition and action are different things, and pretending they’re the same doesn’t improve the efficacy of interventions.
The difference between ignorance and proud ignorance is ginormous.
Seriously, conservatives want to pretend like we’re all just regular people so what do our political views matter right? But if The last 8 years have taught me anything it is that every conservative is some level of a bigot, even if you can get along with them, purely based off their political goals. Sorry, you can’t just work your ass off to deny people rights and sequester people you don’t like, then call it a “political view”.
Worse than stupid. Malicious. Harmful. Hateful.
ngl, last time some conservative started flirting with me she got pissed of when i said i wasnt interested because they were a tory flag shagger, and then she called me a slur because im queer
Wow I did not expect so many right wingers on blahaj zone. Feels weird
It’s federated with a bunch of other instances, they probably saw it on their “All” feed
This is literally top of the day on the entirety of lemny rn. That’s how people got to it.
Far left is not the only thing existing.
far left = having standards apparently
Nah, being woke isnt standard. Thats toxic.
Define woke for me please. I already know your answer but go ahead and tell me anyways.
Your kind defines wokeness, ask them
Damn bruh talk about a dog whistle lmfao
Y’all are the only ones that use the term. The onus is on you to produce a workable definition that can be written down without changing the definition when it’s convenient.
I’m willing to accept the definition Ron desantis’ lawyer used:
During the testimony, Warren’s attorney, Jean-Jacques Cabou asked those within DeSantis’ administration what “woke” meant to them.
The governor’s general counsel, Ryan Newman, said, in general, it means “the belief there are systemic injustices in American society and the need to address them.” He added that DeSantis doesn’t believe there are systemic injustices in the country, reports Florida Politics.
Oh wow you really brought the big guns out didn’t you?
lmao, is the wokeness here in the room with you?
Your kind brought it here.
No ur mom
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Says far left. ☠️
It’s a progressive instance tho.
Woke instance
conservatives boycotting something: ‘go woke, go broke!’
conservatives being boycotted: ‘whaaaaa cancel culture!’
That’s lefties speciality. Pathetic skill.
What does that mean exactly?
that is one of the reasons I wish we had downvotes.
But you do?
Depends on the instance their account is on
People are seeing this post from lots of different instances
The hinges on the meat chasm closed for all conservatives on 24 June 2022.
“Why won’t women, objects meant to feed and pleasure me, give me the time of day like this super old-ass book I had read and interpreted to me by someone who is likely a child molester said they should? Do they worship Saytahn?”
Of course we worship Saitan, it’s delicious!
This is my new favorite thing
protip: it’s seitan
You should date someone with at least some reasonable overlap of ideals. If you wish to have a family unit, like conservatives certainly do, you need to have common ground and mutual respect or you will end up with yet another single mother raising a potentially negative statistic and father losing his child or bailing.
So what you’re saying is: relationships require respect? Yeah, that’s one reason a lot of leftism is built upon respect for one another. Conservatism, the best I can understand stand it relies on feeding an outdated lie that there are multiple classes of people, some being better and more deserving than others.
But yeah, you don’t respect your partner you lose your partner, but that does not a conservative or conservative argument make.
I feel attacked now lol
Oh no, you gotta figure out what sort of situation works for you. It is beneficial to find someone that has some overlapping ideals as yourself, heck most of your friends and you probably already have some overlap you may not have thought about.
Do you not have an overlapping fundamental agreement with your partner about how the world works and what’s moral values are most important?
Like you’re not gonna agree on everything I know, but “are some people inherently better than others, should a justice system focus on punishment or rehabilitation, is education valuable for society, was the earth created by evolution or God, do you want kids(+ a couple questions if “yes”)” are, in my mind, things you need to agree on with the person you intend to share your life with.
posts like these make me wish lemmy has sort by controversial button
That’s not true; I’d date someone I could reasonably discuss fiscal policy about taxation with.
So maybe it’s not so much they won’t date you because you’re conservative and more that you’re openly embracing fascism…
Why is it the only time I ever hear the word “fiscal” is when a conservative is defending their entire half of the political sphere 😂 let’s all look past the human rights abuses and absurd gerrymandering/rigging of the entire democratic system and just think about the “fiscal responsibility” aspect (That, paradoxically, only ever actually seems to drive the national debt up faster when conservatives are in charge)
‘fiscal conservative’ = supports tax cuts for the rich because they believe in trickle-down theory, still, somehow
What could be more fiscally responsible than not paying off your debts?
PPP loan forgiveness for everyone (except the working class that’s not for you you greedy bastards)
Companies=bailed, students=get fucked (fiscal responsibility 😎)
Hey now – don’t be reasonable, this is the internet!
It’s not unreasonable for a woman to tell someone who votes for people to take away her rights that she doesn’t want to date them
Of course not. What’s unreasonable is the tribalistic, us vs them attitude based on poorly applied labels that leave no room for constructive discussion.
People calling themselves “Conservatives” these days are actually reformers who are about the least conservative bunch you’ll ever find. No true
Scotsmanconservative would join a death cult.Except they still call themselves conservatives and they still keep voting for people who openly state they want to oppress women and minorities
You can’t explain your way out of it the mask is off. If you identify as conservative in modern America you are undeniably supporting fascist ideologies.
Lol if people have money they can find dates easily, right wing or not.
Women won’t date me because I’m ugly :(
women won’t date me cause I’m ugly and married :\
This one can be a bit of a barrier.
It doesn’t have to be. Non-monogamy is a thing…
Oh, it’s absolutely a thing. It can still be a barrier, though. Some folks are monogamous for whatever reason.
Yup, nothing against monogamous people
Same here, it’s just not a lifestyle I could get into personally. More power to those who can though!
They already have the power mate. Society largely holds a bias towards their way of life.
You’re right, but I’m not sure you understand the mechanics behind it. You probably think since you don’t look like a gigachad, that you don’t get dates. Women do care about looks sometimes, but not nearly as much as guys tend to fixate on. The quality I hear women trying to find most in a man is decency, followed by personality, shared interests, connection and then yeah, I guess looks.
The trope you’re playing is funny, which is why we keep seeing it in media. A similar trope is seeing a “10/10” girl with a “3/10” guy and saying… “him!?!” Or something about him needing to be rich or something… because women only care about looks. In reality it seems that men think women only care about looks.
So, just keep in mind, if women won’t date you, it has to do with a lot more than your looks. You can take that as a burn, or you can look within yourself, see if you think you have what women want (what I have mentioned) and if so, you’re at the longest and final stage: putting yourself out there.
Edit: just to clarify, I define “decency” with a simple test which is “do I participate in any activities that go against what women are asking have been asking for for decades?” Things like right-wing politics (abortion bans, subservience to men), a livable wage, repect for consent, etc… if the answer is no, you aren’t “decent”. They aren’t asking for power over men, they’re asking not to get raped and to have the bodily autonomy just as men have. They are asking guys not to hypersexualize them from children and try to understand that they aren’t flirting with you at work, they just need to be nice to keep their job, and that they receive a lot of unwanted attention. They’re also asking for guys to take them seriously and a lot of them would want men to know that they don’t bring these topics up because it can create an unsafe situation for them, that it even might have in their past, possibly more than once. We think that we know who men are when we see how they behave around other men. Unfortunately an astoundingly large number of men are abusive to women when other men aren’t around. So yeah, you fail the decency test for politics if those politics harm women.
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Your very first step should be therapy/medication. We’re all just randos on the internet and won’t be able to give the same personalized treatment as someone who spent the better part of a decade studying this stuff.
Healthy habits will also help. Just 2 hours of walking total in a week makes a huge difference. You can carve out 20 minutes a day and take one day off a week, or do it all in one go on a nature hike. Cut out alcohol entirely if possible, it’s literally poison and exacerbates mental health issues. Sleep at least 6 hours, cut down on processed junk.
Beyond that I recommend finding local social spaces, like a board game shop, and going there when you feel ready. You could reach out to the owners and see if any special accommodations can be made. The hardest part will be walking in the door - the trick I use is to tell myself I’ll just stick around for 1 hour (30 minutes, 5 minutes, whatever you are able) and then leave if I’m having a bad time.
Aside from that, focus on making friends first and often a relationship will organically grow from there. I won’t pretend that it’s easy, but it’s absolutely possible. You are deserving of love and acceptance just as much as anybody else.
Oops I mean your friend lol.
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The advice to “just be yourself” is the best advice I can give, but I can elaborate. I should mention that I have severe ADHD, that 70% of ADHDers also have Autism (and that I feel I could be in that 70%), and also have some anxiety disorders too. I am also married and have been in poly relationships in the past. Here’s what I didn’t do:
- I didn’t try to “fake it til you make it” with regards to confidence.
- I didn’t follow any playbook. A friend of mine got super into the “[pseudo]science of seduction” which just seemed stupid and cringey so I ignored his advice.
- I didn’t approach women in person often, and the few times it did it failed. I was akward, I had a stupid opener, she clearly didn’t want to be bothered, so I left (or she left and I didn’t follow).
- I didn’t try to chat people up at their job.
What I did do:
- thought long and deeply about the places where women would go to meet men. Aside from speed dating and maybe a sex club, I could come up with nothing. Every other place I could think of had issues: market? She’s shopping. At work? She’s working. At ladies night? Maybe but its possible she’s there to party, not to meet guys. School? She’s studying… none of these places were great places to try to meet women.
- decided that I needed to try online dating. Tried a few sites and ended up on ok cupid for a bit. You know, the thing about online dating is that women sometimes go to online dating sites to meet men. I met some women, not all of them ones I connected well with. I had some flings. I was honest and ethical about the fact that I was poly and didn’t want to lock anyone into an exclusive arrangement with me.
- I got jealous on occasion, but because I didn’t want anyone to “lock me down”, it was only fair that I didnt try to lock anyone else down. I worked on my jealousy. I read “the ethical slut” and started to understand and then feel compersion for my partners when they were off with other lovers.
- There was a period in my life where I didn’t know better and would start being shitty when hearing the word no, following it up with “please?” Or “why?”, but i cut that shit off quickly when it became clear that this behavior wasn’t cute nor was it even remotely appreciated.
- I worked at jobs and talked with women as people (e.g. I didn’t try to hit on them or be weird around them). Sometimes it was because it was a small company or sometimes a small team. This lead to some great friendships, and parties. A few times at these parties I met women who I later spoke with online and had a sexual relationship later.
- One time I was going to go on a date with a woman later in the week, and later on met a married woman at a party. She wanted some attention, we danced, she talked about her shitty husband and said she wanted to fuck me, so we did after everyone went to bed, under a pop-up canopy during a thunderstorm. Great experience, she was happy and I shared that experience with the woman I had planned on going on a date later, thinking that she, who is also poly would find it exciting. She didn’t. She cancelled the date because I helped someone cheat, and that wasn’t very ethical. She was right. I didn’t mind at the time because her husband sounded like a chode and she wanted to cheat anyway, but it wasn’t something I will ever do again. I modified my ethics and behavior after that.
- I went to burning man and was overwhelmed by how many extroverts where there, so I hung out near my tent. I happened to be caming near a woman from another state who was also an introvert. We chatted and hung out together, later hooking up and staying in touch before she became a trumper.
- Another time at burning man, I hung out near a lot near camp (the burn is nice but there are a lot of extroverts!). I met a friend of a friend, asked her if she wanted to watch the spaceship liftoff (an art installation). Just something to do, not expecting or anticipating anything. I was attracted to her but mostly she was just around camp a lot like I was so we built up a small rapport. We watched the thing, went to a club and she asked if she could go down on me. We went back to my tent and hooked up.
- I had driven a woman to burning man and was going to bring her back (rideshare). Long trip and we both wanted to stop at this hotsprings on the way back from the burn. We stopped there both got naked and got in the water. It was dusk, i felt like we had some rapport so I mentioned that I thought she was cute, or something along those lines. She said she didn’t feel the same, and I took no for an answer. We later kept in touch and I think I met someone else at one of her parties, but I can’t remember, it was a while ago.
In other words, I was myself… an akward, shy guy with basically zero game. I’m not the kind of guy who is showered with complients for being sexy, even in bed. I’m balding and have a belly. 5’ 10".
There really are people for everyone. Give up looking, and just be friendly / friends with women. Find clubs or activities that you enjoy and do those, especially if they are with others. You may just find people who are curious about you and want to get to know you more. Its so much eaiser talking with women when you see and treat them as equals.
Best of luck to you!
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I guess I should also mention that I am american. And yes the suburbs aren’t great for social interaction, the same goes for cities, though. If you like to drink, you can get some social interaction in a bar, and suburbs have bars, of course cities have more.
But since you mentioned NTs not wanting NDs to be themselves, who cares. Do you really want to be with someone you need to mask around 24/7? What if I told you that I met my wife, married her and then years later we both learn we are autistic. She having been diagnosed, me only speculating because of my ADHD, the comorbidity with Autism and some other clues about me that suggest I might be somewhere on the spectrum.
I never asked anyone who I dated if they were Autistic or not, but thinking back on it there were people who weren’t good fits. One person I can remember broke up with me because I would forget often and she had a nearly photographic memory. My wife and I went to counseling to better understand my ADHD as it seemed to her (reasonably) that I was lying to her.
Moral of the story is you can’t even begin to start finding someone for you until you are your whole, unmasked self. Keep in mind here you still have to be decent. If your stimming is actually inappropriate (e.g. public masturbation) then you will have to keep it legal at a minimum. I hate that I even feel the need to mention that, but I have seen some shit excuses online from people trying to excuse abusive behavior because that person is autistic. These people are usually just trying to be shitty under the guise of having a “a disorder” where they can’t help themselves.
If you have ADHD, my guess is you might have a few hobbies or interests. Do you, maybe in front of others, and just be your ND self. Some people will hate it and others will want to know more about you. People tend to gravite towards people who are “confident” which in this context I mean are confident doing their own thing, despite what anyone else mighr expect. You owe the world nothing.
I have ADHD, Adderall has changed my life. Treating your mental health with medication and therapy is critical.
I was just trying to make a joke. I promise I’m not actually an incel.
I get you. Sorry for the serious reply, it wasn’t meant for you so much as it was meant for other people who unironically feel the same way as you joked.
Are you in therapy, the gym, the sun, etc?
Not judging. It’s fucking hard.
You don’t need to be buff or tan to get girls, but you do need to be healthy and confident.
Absolutely. I’ve been working really hard to improve my health both mentally and physically. I’m down 75 lbs. I’m trying to be the best version of myself.
75lbs?
Edit; OH I thought you said “down TO 75lbs” my bad
