• Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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    6 months ago

    Accidentally misgendering someone is not harassment.

    Intentionally doing so is. Because that’s the whole point of intentionally doing so.

    • Masterblaster420@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      But accidentally misgendering someone is often considered paramount to taking part in the holocaust. I’m not mean, I’m just lazy, and I don’t want to talk on egg shells to make sure I accurately read someone’s gender correctly. You can only take some much unjustified vilification before you start to think “you know what? fuck you. I’m going to misgender you out of spite”.

      • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        I accidentally misgender trans people all the time. Never have I ever been accused of being transphobic because I handle it like calling someone the wrong name accidentally. I quickly correct myself and move on, and actively do my best to remember their pronouns going forward.

        Sure, it takes half a braincell of effort at first, but then it becomes easier. This is a strategy known as “not being a dick”.

        That said I call everyone Carl because I’m too lazy to learn everyone’s name, and I don’t want to walk on eggshells to make sure I don’t call someone the wrong name accidentally./s

        • Masterblaster420@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          I like calling everyone Carl, lol.

          IDK, to me it’s not that much different than trying to keep someone’s religious denomination straight. I really just don’t care what particular branch of stupid you’re into.

          But hey, that’s me, a cys white male living their life oblivious to your personal struggle. Fuck me, am I right? If you want to have a conversation about toppling capitalism, you might get my attention.

          • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
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            6 months ago

            I’m also a cis white dude, but I’ve grown past the stage of saying “woah is me I’m standing in a place of privilege”. That attitude does nothing for anyone.

            Allow yourself to be called out, because that’s how you get called in. If you want change, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable, because that’s what growing feels like. That discomfort is part of you having empathy for others, but it will go away as you learn to love and respect those who are not like you.

            I get it, it’s easy to want to focus on how patriarchal systems have put us in a strange position of being both an aggressor and a victim, and it’s easier to face being a victim than considering how we’ve been complicit in this system. We do need to talk about men’s new role in an egalitarian society, and how we can best support men going forward, but being apathetic towards the dignity of others is not how you topple capitalism.

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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        6 months ago

        Dude, don’t listen to bullshit propaganda. Actually talk to trans people and find out what they think.

          • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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            6 months ago

            Expecting you to treat people with basic respect is not policing your words. Do you go around calling black people the negroes? I hope not. Is it because you think that’s extremely disrespectful? I hope so.

            • Masterblaster420@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              It doesn’t take much effort to spot black people. I know how to treat them with respect because that’s easy. Again, I’m just lazy a little spiteful. Sorry not sorry.

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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                6 months ago

                It’s really not the big effort you seem to think it is. If someone looks like a man to you, you refer to them with masculine pronouns and if they correct you, you apologize and go with the pronouns they prefer.

                The point is that you don’t keep doing it when they tell you that you’re using the wrong pronouns.

                  • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOP
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                    6 months ago

                    Why do you think people should only care about what you care about and not care about the things you don’t care about?

                    You sound like you come from a position of privilege and have not been treated with the maliciousness and even violence trans people have to deal with on a daily basis.

                    I suppose asking you to put yourself in their shoes would be too much?

          • cjk@discuss.tchncs.de
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            6 months ago

            I translate: „I think I keep being a dickhead and keep not caring about other people because my lazyness is more important to me than your feelings.“

            • Masterblaster420@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              guilty as charged. I’m an equal opportunity asshole these days and don’t really care. no one is going to help change the things that are important to me, so I’m really not interested in your sad song.

      • abbotsbury@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        But accidentally misgendering someone is often considered paramount to taking part in the holocaust

        Just because 4chan and Fox News says so, doesn’t make it true

        “you know what? fuck you. I’m going to misgender you out of spite”

        Gosh it sure seems like you’re just making excuses to be a spiteful petty asshole to groups you don’t like