Have a kid…
An invasive and life threatening surgery in a third-world country sounds easier.
If you’re a woman on earth, there’s a good chance having kids will be that too!
I tried to think of a comeback about how safe caesareans are, but then remembered when my wife said she started feeling faint during hers and the brick I shat as a response.
I saw the suction containers during my wife’s C section. I wish I hadn’t seen the suction containers.
Also I went around to see the baby and basically saw them frantically stuffing my wife’s insides back in. At least that’s where my imagination went after 27 hours of labor and a brief glance at an emergency c section.
Free contraception, physical sterilization, and abortions for all who knowingly consent.
Elect me God Emperor of the world for life and I will ensure that no woman will have to endure pregnancy or birth and will be paid $100,000 for their sacrificing motherhood with permanent sterilization. Humanity relies on women for our future and no woman should have to bear that burden.
Maybe give that money to women who choose to have a child, they definitely need it more.
This but unironically
Can confirm. Go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 5am… and 11pm to change a diaper and 1am to give a bottle and 3am for no reason whatsoever.
Hopefully you end up doing a better job sleep training than us! Toddler does not go down without a fight.
Our neighbors get their kid who’s a bit younger than ours down by 7. Ours stays up till 9 if she’s tired… sometimes 11 if she’s not…
That’s the nature of the relationship right out of the box (so to speak). Part of it is distinguishing between “I really need something” and “I don’t want to do this.” Our youngest is 2 now and it takes time to get there, but he goes to bed at 8pm.
At first, you go to bed with them, on the ground and you let them cry it out. Once they get used to the routine, things will go much faster but that first week is tough. Routine is also the key. We do bath, reading, bed. Our oldest has snuck in there a bunch of items, but it’s the same routine every night. Getting back to the sleep training, after that first week and they get used to it, you can start just dropping them in there, hanging out a minute, and walking out. This too will be met with protest at first, but you let them cry it out and it stops pretty soon after. Ours occasionally yells when going to bed at first, but most of the time we just hear him talking until he drops out.
Sleeping through the night takes time, but the main thing is to try to feed a lot before bed. Naps in the day shouldn’t be too long either, but are still key to brain development.
We actually hired two sleep training consultants. The second one after my wife was so exhausted we just wanted some hope. Neither was worth the money but the 2nd one felt the most like a ripoff.
My son is almost 4 now and has been sleeping a lot better for quite a while now thankfully. I think I have gotten enough brains back to finish my PhD.
I am now imagining you punching a baby to sleep every night
Yeah that didn’t work for me. Just made it harder on my “fall asleep on the couch from 12am until 3am then wake up and goto bed until work at 5:30am” routine.
Can I just rent one for a bit?
Heck, I’ll pay you to come play with them so I can poop without them wanting to climb all over me.
It helps to not dread tomorrow
That definitely sounds like it requires a surgery.
Yup, I have a job I enjoy, and it turns out I don’t need an alarm to get up to go to it.
Explain!
/s
Yeah just fake it till you make it, set up alarm, go to bed at the right time.
Eventually it will be automatic you want it or not. 🙄
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Blessing/curse
Blursed
Cussing
Blessin’t
Exactly this worked for me. Just be consistent until it sticks. It can take months, easily. But it works in the end. 10:30 pm - 6:00 am is now baked into my mind and I usually just wake up naturally like 10 minutes before the alarm. I actually love it 😁
How it works for me:
Go to bed at 10PM.
Fail to fall asleep until 1AM.
Wake up at 4AM because now I have to.This is the correct answer.
Historical I have always had trouble getting to sleep, and since becoming a parent I experience waves of easy and difficult nights. This has been the case for four years now. For a while here I was falling asleep in minutes every night and things were pretty good. But the past few weeks have been awful. I’ll go to bed at 9:30 feeling ready to die, but most nights the last time I remember seeing on my clock was ~2am, and I’m getting up at either 4 or 6 for work.
I don’t know what to do, but I’m still ready to die.
I stopped drinking, got a dog, and changed my gender. Now I’m up at 7am every day.
Seems pretty drastic just to sleep better. Hopefully you had reasons for getting a dog other than to solve a sleep issue.
And for stopping the drinking
Honestly it’s as good a reason as any for quitting drinking
And changing genders
Honestly, dogs are a full time commitment. Don’t get one on a whim.
They might be a part of your life but you are their whole life.
I miss my dogs so so much, but since I live alone and work ungodly hours these days, I don’t see dog ownership happening again until retirement. As things presently stand, I cannot be the owner a dog deserves.
So it does require a surgery.
This is a common myth that perpetuates anti-trans gender talking points.
The majority of transgender people get zero surgeries.
Of all those, I bet getting the dog was the biggest factor, lol. They need you when they need you. The threat of waking up to a puddle of pee is a motivator.
Oh, oh, I know this one! Have a baby. Done.
Or a job that requires you to get up in the middle of the night. You’ll be in bed long before 10 pm, even on the weekends.
I know from my sis that having a baby messes your sleeping patterns up.
Yup, but since they wake up like every couple hours, one of those is going to align with when you need to get ready for work.
Currently up while my baby sleeps next to me. Some of us put the baby to bed and then lie in a dark silent room for two hours then wake up at 4am to feed the baby and are up 2 more hours.
I just changed when I got older. I used to be a night owl but I haven’t been able to stay up past 10 since I was 28.
Have you been tested for sleep apnea?
Have almost a decade on ya and waiting for this to happen. I’m happy when I fall asleep at midnight.
Same for me. Having a kid just cemented it completely, so now I never have that one day every leap year where I sleep long.
I became a real party pooper on New Years which sort of sucks though…
I started leaning into my abnormal circadian rhythm and my mental and physical health was boosted almost instantly
Daypeople society sucks for Night Owls.
It sounds fake, but it might genuinely be your genes. Scientifically the natural tendency to sleep at specific time is called your chronotype and it’s semi-genetic (it also changes with age and possibly few other factors). Not only that, it also affects your alertness: morning people usually have the highest alertness just after waking up and it gradually declines throughout the day, while evening people usually wake up with very low mental functions, but then their alertness slowly rises and hits its’ peak around 5-6PM.
So if you ever wondered how it’s possible that you always wake up feeling like shit, while others talk about how they’re so full of energy in the morning. That’s how. They’re literally built different.
Could you point me in the direction of some source/further reading? I would love to have something substantive to share next time I get shamed for my lifelong struggle to become a morning person.
I wonder if it’s only the jeans, or if environmental factors also play a significant role and how big that role is relative to the role of genetics.
Get a job that requires it
My wife got a job where it is required and she still struggles to sleep early enough.
Yeah, its still often a struggle for me to, but I just woke up at 8am today naturally on a weekend, so its slowly changing me over
Hence all the jokes about needing coffee to function… oh, those aren’t jokes? People do sometimes literally need stimulants to function?
I know issue I have is going to bed early. If I can wake up early and sleep early, it fixes the cycle. Naps mess up everything
it requires doing it over and over again and accepting that it’s gonna make you feel kinda shitty. I’m at my best by 11am. When I used to work overnight til 5am, 11am was when I woke up. When I worked bars 5-close, 11am. Now that I work a 9-5, I’m physically there at 9, but I’m useless til 11am. When I fall asleep has changed as my schedule did, for each of those schedules I was in bed at 6am, 4am and midnight respectively. But when the machinery came online has never changed: 11am.
How to become a morning person according to this thread:
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Stop using drugs.
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Use drugs to go to sleep.
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Go to bed at 10.
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Go to bed at 10 and fail to fall asleep.
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Just wake up at 6.
I’ve tried all of those suggestions, they worked but also didn’t. Now my sleep schedule is so borked.
Eh, everyone’s a little different, and for some it may well be impossible.
Real answer is conditioning, with most of the suggestions being means to get that rolling. The unwritten part is while you’re conditioning youself, you’re probably gonna be miserable for a while, unless you’re one of us folks with a genetic legacy of farmers and soldiers.
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I know this is WhitePeopleTwitter, and not a direct ask; but the easiest way is to tackle it from the wake-up time, rather than forcing yourself to try and fall asleep at 10pm.
Pick a day with few responsibilities, (e.g. Saturday ) that way you won’t be too negatively impacted if you don’t get enough sleep. Set MULTIPLE alarms to 6am to force you out of bed; proceed with your day as normal, minimise screen time and bright lights after 9pm, and go to bed at 10pm.
Make sure you keep waking up at 6 am and don’t nap/go back to sleep; brute force your body to adapt. It should work as quickly as in 72hrs.
This is the way! You gotta stick to it on the weekends. No exceptions.
Personally, I sleep in till 9 in the weekends. Wake up a mess early Monday. Mondays suck but it’s still worth it gor me.
Then i’m tired and less likely to power through interupting the interesting thing i’m doing at evening.
Just move 3 time zones west
The only reasonable answer
Honestly, if you’re working remotely, finding a job that has a better fitting schedule, is indeed a good idea. Moving there, though, might not work out as your body might drag you to the same sleeping patterns you had before.
For some it occurs naturally in their midlife.
