This community is housed on an instance run by two trans women, focused on the needs of the queer and gender diverse community.
We allowed 196 here because we were promised the community is queer and trans inclusive.
If you’re here it’s because you’re aggressively supportive of trans folk. Not middle of the ground, not “just asking questions”.
If your response to that is, “yes, but…” then this isn’t the instance for you, and by extension, this isn’t the community for you.
tl;dr - Unambiguous support and inclusion, or fuck off somewhere else.
–
Edit - I changed the phrase "aggressive support to “unambiguous support”, as there was some confusion over the intent behind my previous phrasing.
Aggressive support given!
WHATS THAT SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU IM CRANKING THE HOG RIGHT NOW TRANSPHOBES GTFO (DISRESPECTFULLY) 🏳️⚧️
Removed by mod
but it’s weird so its gonna happen
But it shouldn’t happen.
“This is how things are” is a terrible excuse for why we should allow them to be that way.
Hopefully you’re just being sarcastic tho
God I hope you forgot the /s
Yes, it IS not the norm. It’s a minority. But that doesn’t make it weird. Just because it’s kind of rare doesn’t make it a bad thing. It’s been and still is the society that is making it weird for the people themselves. But I see a positive development to a more open minded and inclusive society, even tho the “angry people” who are against this are loud, they won’t be able to stop it! And they know it, that’s why they are so angry at everyone who’s different as them.
It’s good to be weird. Weird means not normal, not mainstream. I find not weird to be boring. So bring on the weird!
So with you on this, as a weird person I would not change anything even tho it sometimes presents challenges. Found a weird bf too and I’m in heaven
I had a discussion about weird vs. norm with a friend the other day. We decided neither type of person is good or bad inherently because they are weird or normal. Different things comfort them. A weird person feels safe surrounded by people that “get them” who are weird like they are. Their personal identity is often centered on the fact that they are not “normal”. They take pride in it.
But the predictability of a more structured “normal” life is just as comforting to those who are “normal”. There are no rights or wrongs here, only the need for each type to recognize and respect the other. I don’t really like derogatory terms like “normie”, which I have more than one friend who uses (I don’t say anything to them about it, I can personally not like it without making demands on my friends to feel the same as I do). It’s like when I was in school, there were mostly right handed people, but every now and then there was a “leftie” or “southpaw”. They were different. I don’t recall ever seeing anyone bullied over being left-handed, but we all knew who they were. Humans and many animals focus on differences. It’s probably a residual primal thing. Wolves will kill deformed or sickly pups, for example.
Normal is boring to some, and weird is chaotic to some. Both are acceptable stances and shouldn’t be seen as adversarial by either group.
Right on. It’s good to be in the minority, to be different!! It would be boring and if everyone were the same.
I have ADHD so there are always more people not like me than like me (unless I’m in a ADHD club or something lol). I could say I’m weird. But also I’m a different kind of normal. Who decides what is or isn’t normal anyway right?
Anyway… The problem isn’t being unlike some majority group. The problem is the fear and hatred and ignorance.
When it comes down to it we are all human.
Transphobes gtfo
Stick your hopes and prayers where you’re food goes.
This is what the fediverse was created for. Casual transphobia doesn’t need to be permitted and I fully support that.
Every single transphobe right now:
HELL YEAH 💖
Can you see my reply? I’m on lemmy.world and I thought it was still defederated from Beehaw so I shouldn’t be able to see your comment O_o(I’m used to being more active on my beehaw account so using my lemmy.world account threw me off, disregard this lol)P.S. Yay trans rights and having a pro-trans meme space 😄
Being defederated just means you can’t see new posts on beehaw communities and they can’t see your communities at all. If your instance and beehaw are both federated with a third instance, like the one this community is on, then you’ll still be able to see comments by beehaw users on that instance.
Let me just make sure I got this right
Dee is on lemmy.world
Zoop is on beehaw
This thread is on lemmy.blahaj.zone
So Dee and Zoop can see each other’s comments since neither lemmy.world nor beehaw is defederated from blahaj.zone?
It’s like a border state or something
Accorded neutral ground
I can see Zoop’s comment, but Zoop can’t see mine. Because beehaw is defederated from lemmy.world but lemmy.world has not chosen to defederate from beehaw so it still gets the comments from beehaw users.
Actually because all these replies are to my lemmy.world account Zoop can’t see this entire exchange, and I can’t see it on my beehaw account either. I just had a brain fart.
Ah, okay. Because behaw defederated they’re not seeing anything from lemmy.world. They’re also not sending anything to lemmy.world. But they are sending stuff to blahaj.zone, so you can read that stuff.
I wonder if they’re seeing my responses, from kbin, to your comments, from lemmy.world, on blahaj.zone.
I wonder if they’re seeing my responses, from kbin, to your comments, from lemmy.world, on blahaj.zone.
I cannot see anything from this conversation on my beehaw account, because it all stemmed from my original reply (which is from a lemmy.world account). So on beehaw it’s just Zoop’s original comment, nothing after.
Edit: For example on beehaw this post as 37 comments, while on lemmy.world it has 97 (at the time of writing this edit)
why did beehaw defederate from lemmy.world?
I’m not sure about that. I think it might be a glitch or something because I never see beehaw comments on lemmy.world and never see lemmy.world comments on my beehaw account. Like, I can’t see the comment I made on this account from my beehaw account.Just thought it was odd.I was just being dumb, Monzingo is right.
I can see your comment, but I’m on mastodon.cloud. 🙂
Thanks, bud. It’s nice to be seen 🙂
See Mozingo? Nothin’
(this comment makes more sense if you can see both lemmy.world and beehaw comments lol)
Okay, I had the dumbs. So because lemmy.world isn’t defederated from beehaw, but beehaw is defederated from lemmy.world I can see the beehaw comments on lemmy.world but not the other way around.
False alarm, I got excited for a second there but had the dumbs. Carry on about your day.
Thank god. Reddit and Twitter were ruined by the transphobic and Nazis. Glad that isn’t tolerated here.
Thank you so much. We need that more than anything right now — where transphobic content tends to be the default on the web.
If this is the time to go full aggressive for our rights, count me in!
(And if you’re here to passive-aggressively complain about how you « don’t care about people’s sexuality » and making everyone notice you’re leaving — let me be very active-aggressive in saying « good fucking riddance » to you.)
heheh, i like this comment
“Not gay as in happy, but queer as in fuck you!”
TRANS RIGHTS
There was transphobia in 196? HOW?
One of the mods made a post about how this comment being really creepy about trans men’s bodies somehow wasn’t transphobic and then deleted it after people started calling them out lol
Thank you for providing good context on this thread. The original comment was ass, but not important overall. If the mod hadn’t decided to explicitly defend it, this wouldn’t even be a conversation. This entire discourse would have been avoided if it wasn’t for a shitty mod post.
Removed by mod
Fuck off.
Genital preferences are valid as far as any preference for physical attributes but when you’re reducing people to purely genitals it’s gross and no respect needs to be given to the argument.
That’s not what happened. In the context of dating and sex it’s an extremely relevant point. Sounds like you’re mad at a headline without reading the article, in a manner of speaking. So you fuck off.
The original comment literally boiled down to “boobs and vagina is woman, penis is man”.
No it didn’t. He explained he would be put off by a transitioned trans man. Go through their comment history and you’ll see they’d be comfortable dating preop, as long as their partner is comfortable with them finding their femininity attractive.
That is not at all what it said. The original commenter said that he would not be willing to date a trans man after they transition because he cannot find a penis sexually attractive and because he does find boons sexually attractive. This is a completely ok thing to say, it’s what was said after this original comment that became a problem. The post should not have been made by the mod, because it led to a lot of transphobes commenting.
The mod could have just… Not responded to it like they don’t respond to thousands of comments. You’re not listening to the point. If you’re straight, don’t fuck trans men because you view them as women because vagina and boob
You’re missing the point. His point was explicitly that he wouldn’t date post op trans men.
What you saying right now was literally his point. To date a trans man because finda him attractive for his femininity wouldn’t work. That was literally his entire point.
Nedankinde. This is an issue we all care about, after all.
The guy said he wasn’t into dicks and that it would be weird to like something about his partner that they would want gone and dislike. That’s not transphobic. It honestly bonkers that people find that to be transphobic.
All in a day’s work😉
Most people seem to agree it wasn’t transphobia, but here’s the context: https://lemmy.world/post/1893561
There was some transphobia that came crawling out like usually happens when a trans topic starts getting active, but they got shut down pretty quickly
There was some transphobia that came crawling out like usually happens when a trans topic starts getting active
That is what prompted this post. It happens every single time trans stuff comes up. There is no space for it here.
To be clear, some of the comments you removed were from the person you are now replying to.
Yes, I’m aware. You can see the list here https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/modlog?page=1&userId=170858
They were removed, because a meme community on a trans run instance isn’t the place for a discussion on the specifics of why you don’t want to fuck trans people.
We hear that enough, every day, in every place we look online. We don’t need it here too.
Was the post transphobic? That depends on who you ask, but either way, what it wasn’t is “unambiguously supportive”
It’s also worth pointing out that those posts were not the trigger for this thread
a meme community on a trans run instance isn’t the place for a discussion on the specifics of why you don’t want to fuck trans people.
I really wish more people got this
It’s like Pokémon, you made eye contact with someone on a meme sub and suddenly you’re forced into a debate you don’t want to have.
👀 Barbie or Oppenheimer? Answer me, Zymi!
It’s also worth pointing out that those posts were not the trigger for this thread
That’s a relief! I was a little worried because I like this instance but was butting heads in the one post. Thank you for running this instance. I threw what money I can at the moment to the blahaj.zone Kofi because I feel bad I might’ve made your job harder as an admin lol
I was thinking about this in the context of a conversation I was privy to recently boiled down it was basically “I don’t have a problem with trans people But…sexually assaulting kids is bad But…teaching sexual orientation to 3 year Olds is bad”
I don’t want to have to feel like I need to “just leave”
The post seems transphobic in a “chaser” sort of way to me, not trans though.
It seems very “chaser” to me. In other comments, the poster mentioned how he was attracted to “post op trans women and pre op trans men”. Grouping those two demographics together in this way will never be seen as not chaser.
What does chaser mean?
Someone who fetishizes trans people. You find trans people hot? That’s totally fine, you can have preferences. But grouping post op trans women and pre op trans men sexually is saying that they’re being viewed as women regardless of their identity.
If you wanna fuck a trans person, it should be because you’re attracted to them. Maybe you like boobs and penis together and that’s fine. Maybe you like a masculine chest and a vagina. You can be attracted to a certain intersection, even if that intersection is a straight one. But fucking them because they’re trans and exotic is chasing. If you like women, fuck trans women. If you like men, fuck trans men. But don’t just randomly flip them around like there’s no difference to you.
The guy just said that penises put him off, good god. Is it common in the trans community for people to find it transphobic when cis people aren’t attracted to them post transition? Because while I fully support the right to be trans and transition, that is pretty nuts to find it transphobic just because someone doesn’t find you attractive.
That’s not the issue. You can’t say “yeah I like women” and then say that includes pre op trans men. That’s fucking gross to say. He literally did the “oh noooo but your boobs!” You guys really go straight to being condescending before you actually try to understand anything, Jesus fucking Christ.
well, yes and no
to my personal experience, it can feel kind of transphobic, as being in the position of being rejected just because of your genitals, and not because of the rest of your personality and appearance/gender expression just feels wrong and mean somehow, but if I try to rationalize it, saying that such pereference is transphobic feels just as bad, as you cant force someones pereference
there needs to be said that the person did not see the implication of praising/complementing someones genitals that were the problem (in the case of the original post “And it would propably be difficult with me going ‘I love your boobs’ and they’re always like ‘I hate my boobs’”). As praising or giving a trans person a complement on the bodyparts which are a big part of their disphoria is just mean and very painfull for most of them (this was propably unintended tho, and I expect the original postter didn’t think about this, but still)
[pre-anything transfem btw]
Thank you. It was my first time hearing the term.
Honestly I didn’t realize this was a trans community. I thought ‘196’ was just some random number like the ‘4’ in 4chan. 196 just had good content. The fact it’s inclusive is just a bonus.
The entire instance lemmy.blahaj.zone is a trans themed instance therefore every community on it is slanted towards trans community and support.
That’s partially to blame for all 196 communities having this weird “if you know you know” approach to writing their mission statement and rules. I’ve seen numerous people ask wth is 196 because of how vague the communities they saw were.
But, particularly about the social politics, here’s also the thing I think. Trans rights are human rights. Communities fall under two categories: Welcoming to trans people, versus inherently evil. So I don’t think that a community is pro-trans should ever have to be stated. It should be assume, and whoever has a problem with it should go fuck off from society, Satan has a place for them.
Tbf, this one does mention it on the about page, so it’s more obvious to newcomers than r/196 was.
It’s not a trans community per se, it’s more of a more trans-friendly shitposting community. Like, I think, even now majority of posters aren’t trans. And majority of content is not trans-themed, it’s not traa. It’s a good place if you don’t want to see only trans-themed memes, but also don’t want to see transphobia
Variety makes things better.
i am old and cis but trans shitposters are the best shitposters, this is indisputable. you have my support
And my axe! 🎸
and my d20
100% based; Was already worried where this community was headed
BLÅHAJ Lemmy W
Removed by mod
Which part
The part where
Damn
straightqueer.I’m just your run-of-the-mill white cismale dude, but I know several trans people in real life including an old friend of mine and a 7-year-old kid across the street from me. Everyone deserves respect and dignity of life.
Trans rights are women’s rights.
Trans rights are men’s rights.
Trans rights are human rights.
If you believe otherwise, you’re doing nothing less than questioning the basic humanity of Trans people. And you can fuck right off.
Hello, Based Department, we’ve got another Based Community here.
Trans rights are human rights!
Trans people are cool. Love em. Full human rights for everyone, end discrimination. This post, though, is obnoxious though.
Sending edicts out to the public is never the play. Use your sidebar. Moderate stuff. Make it cool to not be a bigot. But the second you start doing goofy shit like this, you’re painting a target on your back and coming across way more fragile than you must actually be.
I personally have a policy about blocking any community that has admins who feel it necessary to try to police people’s thoughts. As much as bigots piss me off, this isn’t how people conduct themselves in a place that purports to be a safe haven. You don’t patronize and denigrate the general public out of frustration, unless you want them as an enemy for some reason. The idea you needed you adjust your terminology in retrospect confirms how poorly you wrote your initial message.
Also, I have to say, “We allowed 196 to be here” is a curious statement. What exactly did you allow? Is opening a community a big endeavor? I’ve opened up a bunch, and never have I felt like I was owed someone for doing it.
Ban bad behavior. Don’t try to tell people how to think. We have a word for the latter and it’s not pretty.
Sad to hear that’s been happening on Blahaj. Full and unambiguous support from me! 🐝
