Disclaimer: I am not trolling, I am an autistic person who doesn’t understand so many social nuances. Also I am from New Hampshire (97% white), so I just don’t have any close African-American friends that I am willing to risk asking such a loaded question.
I’m a white Christian man in Texas. I know I’m privileged and that that privilege often comes with ignorance, so I used to be really nervous about offending people inadvertently.
But I eventually learned to just ask if I wasn’t sure.
It did help that one of my best friends in college was a black lesbian who transitioned Jr year. I joked with him that he was my token “X” friend.