Judge Aileen Cannon wants to hold additional hearings on Donald Trump’s attempts to challenge key evidence in his classified documents case and will allow the former president’s lawyers to question witnesses about the investigation and search of Mar-a-Lago.
“What does the word “delay” even mean…? Amirite?”, asked Judge Qanon.
Judge Qanon.
fucking jenius.
Need to call a special fact-finding hearing featuring the editors of Merriam-Webster’s, Collins, and the Oxford English Dictionary. Let’s pencil it in for three weeks from next Monday.
Excuse me, your honor. I think we need to have a hearing on what the definition of fact-finding is. Actually, I think we need three separate hearings. One is to define the word fact, then the word finding, and the last to define fact-finding with regards to the scope of this case. Oh, and that reminds me…we need to define the word scope as well. I mean what kind of scope? A periscope? A telescope? And how do we define definition anyway? I think we need a hearing on that as well…and what does constitute a hearing, anyway? Has that been defined anywhere? See how complex this case is? You’re confused, your clerk quit an hour ago, and even your stenographer confessed to Nixon’s disappearance and went to jail rather than suffer through this any more. So how do you expect a jury of my peers to undestand this. And what do we mean by “peers” anyway…