JD Vance is on a quest to become the first person to do successful anti-white racism.
Yeah but he said diet Mountain Dew which has weird vibes.
is it gay to drink diet mountain dew guys?
No, that’s Baja blast zero. Diet mountain dew means you’re into gilfs.
Actually having sex with women is gay because women are womanly by definition and sex is enjoyable so it means you enjoy womanly things
Diet Dew is the Hasan Piker of sodas.
All the classic flavour of a legacy soda, but the zero calories of a utility soda for an active lifestyle.
This idiot doesn’t even know mountian dew code red is the racist one.
Wait serious?
No lmao. Everyone knows fanta is the racist soda.
It’s a “did you know” aimed at the kind of clueless Atlantic reader that doesn’t know anything about Soda lore. Kinda’ smug, like all his writing, I guess. Don’t hate him or this necessarily since it’s basically an easy article for him to write and get monies from The Atlantic, but it’s still kinda’ dumb to think J.D. Vance was successful at all just name-dropping Dew like “hello fellow, soda drinkers”.
ian bogost crawl back into your hole challenge
Yes. Please make sure everyone knows about this take. It’s really a winning strategy.
spoiler
it’s not actually good
The soft drink, invented in Tennessee in the 1930s as a whiskey mixer
Oh fuck, I gotta go try this
All right, here we go. I call this one the “poor life choices.” The “recipe” was about two fifths of bourbon, a couple of ice cubes, and the rest is Dew Zero.
It tastes like
mixed with 
This is going to be a doozy when it finally hits
Good god that was vile
But also wheee, room go spinny!
Why did I do this on a work night
Also HOLY SHIT AMAZON SELLS HOT PINK USHANKAS
Edit: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
Appreciate you taking the rest of us on this journey.
From each according to their ability, to each according to their, you know, the thing
Did your phone die?
Nah, was in bed fam. Plugged it in after lol
Conservatives love their soft drinks!
Edit: damnit it doesn’t even mention the Baja blast…
Obamna
That’s not how you hold a bottle.
Diet Dew? Not even Dew Zero? Psh, what a fuckin’ poser.
