• MissJinx@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Tbf I think this is an american thing. I have never asked someone for their hight, nor ever seen anyone ask this. American women are obsessed with men hight.

    • xor@infosec.pub
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      3 months ago

      if you’re over 6 feet or so, all sorts of people will ask what your height is… but i have seen weird height minimums on dating apps… usually with “i want to be able to wear heels”

      • abcd@feddit.org
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        3 months ago

        I don’t get it. Is there a rotating 1kW laser mounted on my head that may decapitate a woman slightly taller then me I didn’t recognize all my life?!

        • johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          People treat dating apps as a filter, and think that they’ll only get people that match what they entered. So it becomes a wishlist for them. If they met a really great guy who happened to be short, sure they’d date him. But all other things being equal, would they prefer a tall guy to a short guy? Yes. All things aren’t equal of course, but other stuff is harder to quantify. There’s no “not an asshole” filter, for example.

          • moody@lemmings.world
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            3 months ago

            So what “If you’re not 6 feet tall, don’t bother” really means is “Hit me up anyway, we might click.”

              • SwingingTheLamp
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                3 months ago

                The “dodged a bullet” idiom is well-meaning, but after a while, you feel like a soldier who survived storming the beach at Normandy, what with all of the bullets you dodged.

        • xor@infosec.pub
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          3 months ago

          it’s sort of a toxic masculinity thing… they want to be shorter than the person they’re with…. male roles of protection, reaching high things and carrying heavy things they can’t carry….
          my 5’10” ex dated a shorter man once, she said his obsession with her height was one thing that ruined it….
          he hated tall guys, wanted to sleep on top of her like a human bed… just weird dumb stuff….
          she also mentioned she liked that she could wear heels with me and not be taller than me… and we never got dressed up like that… she just needed the option or something.
          but hey, i’ve never even met a woman as tall as me… it’s not such a big deal.

          • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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            3 months ago

            wanted to sleep on top of her like a human bed

            What.

            Did he love the fact that she was taller than him or hate it?

            • d00phy@lemmy.world
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              3 months ago

              Yeah, that’s pretty weird. Like even if I weirdly wanted to sleep, like actually sleep, on top of another person, I’m fairly spectating I couldn’t. It would just be uncomfortable.

            • xor@infosec.pub
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              3 months ago

              he loved it… i guess she let him take a nap on her once as a joke, but then he wanted to do it all the time….

          • RBWells@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            I love my height, would love to be even a couple inches taller, but the legit short guys I’ve been with did make me feel insecure because they were sort of fetishists, only one in a way I felt ok about; they NEEDED a woman taller than them the same way women do to guys.

            What someone pointed out to me once though, was that maybe I was implementing my own bias and didn’t want to be with a guy so much taller than me because I’m not used to feeling short and it isn’t a good feeling to me. So even though my conscious mind thinks I’m irritated by tall men’s obsession with short women, and my daughters think I kind of robbed them of their potential height, it probably is an affirmative preference not just a default result.

            • xor@infosec.pub
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              3 months ago

              such a weird world… i say, like what you like… don’t obsess or fetishize it…
              i’ve dated some extra short women, they did marvel at my height but it was more of a novelty… standing on things to kiss kinda thing…. it is weird being someone’s “type” because of a couple key physical attributes.

              but almost all women seem really short to me… i usually don’t really notice at first.

      • OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca
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        3 months ago

        usually with “i want to be able to wear heels”

        That’s fine. I might wear them too.

      • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I get it but maybethey should try to meet the person first It could be very little to no difference or the person could be so awesome that it doesn’t mater.

        • xor@infosec.pub
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          3 months ago

          i just think it’s not that important if a girl is taller than a guy (or anyone) they’re dating….
          it’s a weird world i don’t know why people make such a big deal about these things….

          i guess i have been told by women that they feel surprisingly safe walking next to me on the street, and that it’s a big relief….
          maybe it all comes down to instinctual security?

      • Dasus@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Haha yeah perhaps if you live in a country where that’s rare.

        You have to be ~2 meters here to get comments, and even that isn’t really rare. 210 would probably start turning heads a bit.

    • I_poop_from_there@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      As someone who’s well over 2 meters tall, I can tell you that no matter where I travel, people always ask. Just depending on the country, they just stop me walking in public, or only after some small talk.

      • lunarul@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        But that has nothing to do with the dating thing where a lot of girls won’t consider men under a given height, no exceptions.

        • I_poop_from_there@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Okay, now it’s my turn to be surprised, people actually do that? (Mind you, I got married before online dating was even a thing, so I’m probably a ‘bit’ out of touch)

      • FrostyCaveman@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Well over 2 meters… wow, that must be inconvenient. I’m just over 6 foot and everything feels like it was built for people way shorter than me. Showers, kitchen counters, airline seats, etc.

        • I_poop_from_there@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Overall I like it, I’m a pretty introverted person and tend to stay in the background by nature, but being this tall means that I get noticed no matter what.

          That being said, I’m writing this from the back of an Uber and i can’t put my head straight up here. And the only way to fly is in an emergency exit seat.

          I can only buy clothes in specialised shops, but these days most have web shops, so that has become a lot easier.

          • jol@discuss.tchncs.de
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            3 months ago

            I appreciate you staying in the background for us shorties to be able to sit in the foreground and see anything 🙏

        • bluewing@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          Things like that are generally built to the “average” height to be comfortable for the greatest number of people, which in the past 80 years or so has been 5’ 8".

          I would imagine it would be more uncomfortable for shorter people than for us tall people.

    • flicker@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I’ve never made height a thing in dating. But! I’m the shortest living member of my family (and by a large margin) so I appreciate when I have a partner who can reach all the things I can’t reach at the store or wherever.

      Why do we even have shelves so high off the ground???

    • MisterFrog@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      It’s not just the US, unreasonable focus on height is a thing in a number of countries, even non-western ones.

      Though, where I live, it would be weird to ask this on a date.

      • bluewing@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        As a tall person, who has been married to the same noticeably shorter woman for 36 years, height has never been questioned between us. I can’t remember any woman I had ever dated, going back to high school, ever asking me my height. 'Twas pretty obvious I’m a whole lot taller than they were.

        Although, now that I think about it, When I was a teenager I did originally want to marry a woman who was like 6’ or taller. Just my luck, the woman I’ve been married to for 36 years is only 5’ 3" tall.

        • TrumpetX@programming.dev
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          3 months ago

          It wouldn’t be noticed by you, it’s noticed by the shorter folks. I’m tall enough to “pass” for tall, but no one says “you’re tall” to me. My short friends have all had to deal with this phenomenon.

        • SwingingTheLamp
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          3 months ago

          You’re “normal,” so nobody would mention it. Try it the other way around, marrying a noticeably taller woman. (Do it for science!) The couples I’ve met with this atypical height difference sure do get comments.

    • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      It is not a US thing I can assure you. You get bios from some women’s in dating apps stating “what do you call a man under 6’0”? A friend."

      As if that’s going to stop me from swiping right!

      • Dasus@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        You don’t see how actually using feet as the measurement already signifies just how American it is?

        Most people in my country don’t even have an idea on how much 6ft is.

        The average height here is ~180, which translates as 5"11’.

        I have literally never in my life known a person who had 182cm as an arbitrary height limit for guys. Actually, I’ve not seen any type of height limits basically, aside from a few girls having the criteria of “I would prefer to date someone at least as tall as me.”

        Americans are a nation of short kings, lol.

        • TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Where I live, we only use metric for height, pizza size and dick size lol.

          I have literally never in my life known a person who had 182cm as an arbitrary height limit for guys.

          You are lucky to not be surrounded by shallow people, I suppose.

          • Dasus@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            No no, a lot of them are extremely shallow.

            Just not about height.

            Like I’m sure no-one around you considers someone showing their ankle or elbow to be indecent, but you know a lot of people used to. Or I mean I don’t know where you live, you might live in a country where that still applies, but I don’t think it’s likely.

            Back then ankles and elbows were inherently sexy because of the taboo. For some reason height is sexy for Americans, but people just don’t focus as much on it in some cultures I guess

    • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      It is a weird American thing, but I’m not sure where it comes from. My husband and I are the same height, he might be an inch or so taller than me. I love him, and height isn’t something I really care about.

      However, I’ve had some “friends” who decided to voice their opinion on my partner and say stupid shit like “he’d be more handsome if he was taller” or “I could never be with a short guy.”

      I guess it’s a good thing he’s not married to you then isn’t it? I’m not friends with those women anymore for obvious reasons. They were 30 something year old mean girls.

      I don’t have time for that shit.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        3 months ago

        I’m 5’3 and used to date a girl that was 5’10 she got comments like that from some of her friends all the time when we were together. They’d even say shit in front of me and then act like I was an asshole for not wanting to associate with them. I’m not insecure about my height at all but I’m also not going to be disrespected over something I can’t control.

        • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          That’s just straight up rude. People need to remember what being a decent person means. Sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you find someone who appreciates you and doesn’t tolerate rude ass comments being made about you(if you havent already that is!)

          What a bunch of assholes. Glad you don’t have to deal with that anymore

      • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        exactly! From all the things I think about when thinking of a partner Hight is not one of them at all. If a women cares about it its a red flag

    • Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      American women ads be like:

      "Hay guys, I’m a divorced, unemployed, BBW (obese) woman, looking for a fit. Good looking, wealthy, muscular guy over 6’ to take care of me and my 5 kids. Must be at least 6’ to ride this curvy (obese) gal "