alt-text: [yellow text saying “different pronouns in different spaces” next to the queer anarchist flag and on a 2d digital art wooden background]

  • elfpie@beehaw.org
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    3 months ago

    I’m not sure of I understand it correctly. Would pronouns in this case carry the same value as titles do, or terms of endearment? Maybe a mix of both. Titles have the explicit aspect, but terms of endearment inform the kind of relation we have in an informal situation.

    The practical use still escapes my imagination. Would you talk more about that?

    • rosethornRangerTTV@beehaw.orgOP
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      3 months ago

      pronouns do have some overlap with those, yeah

      practical use for a lot of things comes after building the systems where it is available in the first place. I have seen it used to designate what kind of furry someone is, I am not in those communities much so I don’t know the specifics but I imagine that can save time and confusion. One set of pronouns for those furry spaces, one for outside.

      I use it/its in spaces where I do not plan on engaging with people as individuals, like on youtube where I get hundreds of comments and I’m not going to bother reading usernames. Designating the kind of interaction I will carry out and what to expect there is a good use case.

      It is hard to find more examples as it is such a personal thing and not many people do it yet

      • Gaywallet (they/it)@beehaw.org
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        3 months ago

        I use it/its in spaces where I do not plan on engaging with people as individuals

        I see your pronouns on Beehaw are it/its, can you clarify whether you intend on engaging with people as individuals and if not how that shapes how you treat them?

        • rosethornRangerTTV@beehaw.orgOP
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          3 months ago

          I do not read usernames and take messages as they are without looking for additional context. This space is not a chat room and there is no reason to treat it as such. It is a forum.

          • Gaywallet (they/it)@beehaw.org
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            3 months ago

            Beehaw may not be the right space for you if you’re unable to consider context. Beehaw is explicitly a community, a safe space, and somewhere where context absolutely matters. We don’t believe it’s possible to have a healthy community where people don’t see each other as complex humans. We talk about this, quite a bit in our docs, for example in the the doc titled Beehaw is a community we talk about how community is a necessary part of this platform and in the doc titled Beehaw, Lemmy, and A Vision of the Fediverse we talk about how we want to be more like a village than we do a train station (and link to a fantastic article about this) and that’s a direct reflection of the importance of social ties and connections to running a healthy community.

            I’m certainly not saying that you should leave, but I am typing all of this up because I need you to understand what our values are around here. Some of your content and your interactions have already been reported by multiple people - I mention this because I think it’s a reflection of your attitude towards your purpose here and how you are interacting with the space. I’ve advised others to hold on taking moderator actions because I know adapting to and interfacing with a community and that this process can often be bumpy- we wish to give people good faith when it is deserved, but that is predicated on a willingness to engage in good faith with the community. If that is not how you wish to interact with social media, that is your decision and we will respect it, but this is not a place where we allow that kind of behavior.

              • Gaywallet (they/it)@beehaw.org
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                3 months ago

                It’s hard to engage with such short replies. What parts confuse you? What do you need more guidance on? Is there anything else that is unclear about my response and how we value community around here?

                • rosethornRangerTTV@beehaw.orgOP
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                  3 months ago

                  deeper context involves like, reading the last 10 posts someone made to get an idea of who they are before responding, is that expected here? I am not understanding what you want from me

                  • alyaza [they/she]@beehaw.orgM
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                    3 months ago

                    I am not understanding what you want from me

                    i think the basic confusion people are having is that, when you phrase it like “I use it/its in spaces where I do not plan on engaging with people as individuals” and “This space is not a chat room and there is no reason to treat it as such. It is a forum.”, how that comes off to some people is you are kind of treating this place like a dumping ground for what you want to talk about and then ignoring other people jumping off of your posts. that may or may not be what you intend to do; so that’s why people are trying to clarify the intent of your posts.

                  • elfpie@beehaw.org
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                    3 months ago

                    Please, don’t feel like we are piling on you. I personally would say you came as a positive disruption, but making sure this is a safe space is a big priority and that means even discussions filled with good intentions have to be careful. You should check tildes for comparison.

                    Now about forums and chat rooms. Chat rooms never felt really personal to me, but I could never socialize with a lot of people at the same time well. Forums, 20 years ago, were a space I inhabited frequently. Deeper context for me was knowing who I was talking to because I had read their posts and comments in the past. We engaged ideas, but we considered people as well. Of course, not every discussion was the same, with some more abstract than others.

                    I have been seeing your posts for the past week. They feel very personal, but your approach feels detached, academic. Try being more conversational, asking questions and being interested. For instance: What brought you here? Why do you post? What do you expect to offer and get? Ideas, opinions, experiences? Educate people, get collaboration for your ideas, someone to challenge and strength them?

                    I truly believe our mods want to be accepting, but their role is also to maintain peace by guiding and reminding we all of our philosophy.

              • Ava@beehaw.org
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                3 months ago

                The first word you submitted in this comment chain is literally “pronouns” and the topic of conversation is your stated choice of “it/its” pronouns and implication that you use them when not engaging with individuals, like on this board.

                • t3rmit3@beehaw.org
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                  3 months ago

                  I think they meant that they didn’t say anything about not reading pronouns, just usernames.

                  I think this person is just very very very bad at communicating details.

      • LallyLuckFarm@beehaw.org
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        3 months ago

        I use it/its in spaces where I do not plan on engaging with people as individuals, like on youtube where I get hundreds of comments and I’m not going to bother reading usernames

        Like @Vodulas I’m a little perplexed by this and hope you won’t mind providing some more clarity

      • Vodulas [they/them]@beehaw.org
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        3 months ago

        I use it/its in spaces where I do not plan on engaging with people as individuals, like on youtube where I get hundreds of comments and I’m not going to bother reading usernames.

        I’m a little confused with this part. Are you referring to commenters using it/its or use it/its for yourself, but only on YouTube? I am a little put off by the second part, but I think I might be missing what you mean. Are you saying your replies on YouTube comments are going to be low effort interactions or that you aren’t considering the individuality of YouTube commentors at all? If the latter, that might lead to some pretty terrible interactions there. Not that YouTube comments are known for being good interactions, but I have seen channels be able to cultivate pretty positive comment sections. Being dismissive of folks might perpetuate bad behaviors and cultivate some pretty terrible attitudes.

        I can see the benefit of setting expectations for interaction, but as someone that only uses one set of pronouns, I don’t think different ones in different spaces would work for me. Some other signifier might though.

      • t3rmit3@beehaw.org
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        3 months ago

        I feel like I get what you’re saying, and I think that drag queens are probably a better example, where they may use a different set of pronouns while in drag than out.