A DARE officer once scared me off of drinking water for two days because he literally never used the words “alcohol” or “beer” to a crowd of six years olds. Just “drinking is bad.”

David Cross talked about if you see a crying child and ask why and they say, “that man won’t buy us beer,” the response should be, “ok, I’ll buy you some beer.” Only he said it funnier than I did.

LET THE CHILDREN DRINK!

(shut up, it’s sarcasm, I only think they should smoke crack.)

why would some kids die because I can’t drink until I’m 21?

They shoulda just had some hwatcha at 3am SLURP

I guess I should get the word out that I’m over 21. Don’t want anyone dying on my account.