Donald Trump is reportedly losing sleep, battling anxiety, and obsessing over his polling numbers as the GOP nominee hopes to hang his hat on any sign that he will return to the White House.
A campaign official told Axios that Trump is asking more questions and pushing his staff to work even more to ensure that he will come out ahead of Vice President Kamala Harris come Election Day.
“Trump’s anxiety is evident in his late-night and early morning calls to aides in which he peppers them with questions on how things are going—and whether they think he’ll win,” Axios reported.
I want his death to be so nonchalant that nobody even realizes he’s actually dead.
like, he goes to take a shit and dies on the toilet and nobody notices for like a day.
and when they find him hes all riggered up and covered in shit and piss.
and the person to find him is a secretary he’s treated like shit for years. she takes pics of him, sells them for a huge amount of money, and everyone mocks him for the next two generations.
and in every history book, the last line will be about how he died covered in his own urine and feces.
Agree with everything there, but man. I wouldn’t want to get on the bad side of your imagination.
Now give us a chalant one
he is making a public statement about the results of the election, complaining about how it’s rigged against him. He makes the comment, “as god as my witness, I’m not lying!” when he suddenly grabs his chest and pleades into the camera, “me… save… me…”
blood begins to run out his nose all over his face and suit as his face contorts in anguish.
the cameras continue to roll as he falls off stage into an unmoving heap on the floor.
footage cuts to eye witness testimony where a man with a deep southern drawl says, “We was lookin up at him and God struck him down! he fell right in front of me, and began to shit and piss himself. God as my witness!”
the news will run it as his heart hemorrhaging, conservative media will say his heart was too full of love. but all anyone will remember is he died shitting and pissing his pants on national television.
I was hoping for a chest-burster alien maybe
Yeah don’t stop there. I’m close.
As if he shits on the toilet…
A truly fitting epitaph