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Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 6 months ago

If you need a stargate, there is one outside of Ashland, Ohio off of I-71.

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If you need a stargate, there is one outside of Ashland, Ohio off of I-71.

lemmy.world

Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 6 months ago
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  • mipadaitu@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    A little irresponsible leaving it unguarded with the iris open.

    • ThanksObama@sh.itjust.works
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      6 months ago

      Name one system lord that would have any use for Ohio…

      • Ioughttamow@fedia.io
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        6 months ago

        JD Vance does wear a suspicious amount of eyeliner….

      • No_Eponym@lemmy.ca
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        6 months ago

        Casualties are to be expected.

    • weker01@sh.itjust.works
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      6 months ago

      Wasn’t the iris something the military built after relocating the gate? If so maybe it was never found before. I mean it is in Ohio…

      • smeenz@lemmy.nz
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        6 months ago

        Yep. The iris is an SGC addition to the gate

        • mipadaitu@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          The mechanical iris was a later addition, before that there was a stone cover. Without either anyone can come through from the other side.

      • mipadaitu@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        The mechanical iris was a later addition, before that there was a stone cover. Without either anyone can come through from the other side.

    • kaboom36@ani.social
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      6 months ago

      Ah its fine, the put it upside down so anyone who attempts to use it falls on their head!

  • superkret@feddit.org
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    6 months ago

    It’s been active and open for decades, but no one has ever arrived through it.
    Cause it leads to just outside Ashland, Ohio off of I-71.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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      6 months ago

      The worst stargate.

      • FenrirIII@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Ohio, a state so miserable even the Goa’uld aren’t interested.

    • xwolpertinger@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Ugh don’t you hate it when an active connection blocks the use of the stargate network for everyone.

      Truly a 90s moment.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      The possum Homeworld

  • Rhaedas@fedia.io
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    6 months ago

    Pretty useless without the DHD. Must be meant as a one way dumping gate to send people to Ohio.

    • NarrativeBear@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Found the DHD, covered by some shrubs.

      1000015415

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        6 months ago

        Oh Jesus.

        Anyone have some valid Stargate addresses? I’m done with this stupid planet.

        • Agent641@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Just dial us into a black hole again.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      TO Ohio? No, that can’t be right. Who would design a transportation method of that technical marvel, and choose OHIO as it’s destination?

      • Baggins@feddit.uk
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        6 months ago

        They’re after the cats.

        See, he was right all along.

        /s (just in case)

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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          6 months ago

          OOOOH! It all makes sense now!

          They weren’t talking about people from Haiti, they were talking about people from 8E. Planet 8E in their catalog of habitable worlds accessible by stargate.

          Because those fuckers do eat dogs.

    • Cort@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Just don’t mention it on the conservative communities, otherwise it’ll be the next conspiracy theory on sneaking voters into a swing state.

    • jaybone@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Read that as sand people to Ohio and thought, that’s a different fiction.

  • Agent641@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Theres a Tollan Stargate in Perth:

    • sparky@lemmy.federate.cc@lemmy.federate.cc
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      6 months ago

      That’s cool, any details or link to share?

      • Agent641@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        It’s classified.

  • Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    6 months ago

    Fake fan, the Chevrons are in the wrong place, should be one at the top.

    • weker01@sh.itjust.works
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      6 months ago

      It can be rotated, no? Doesn’t seem to be in a working state right now.

      • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Works fine horizontally as we saw in Area 51, this one just isn’t mounted to a ramp. The real question is where’s the DHD

        • SSTF@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          You can dial manually as long as you bring your own power source.

          • Agent641@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            How many AA batteries do we need?

            • BallsandBayonets@lemmings.world
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              6 months ago

              At least 4.

          • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            And your own Walter, he kept all those SG teams alive

            • tron
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              6 months ago

              Nobody I’d trust more to open the Iris!

      • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads Chevrons

      • t҉̠̙ǵ̣̞̄ͪ͜x̸̱͚̳ͫ͐̑̈ͯͣ̚n̒͌҉͉̦̜̝ͅ@lemmy.tgxn.net
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        6 months ago

        Yeah there’s no DHD visible here. Maybe they’ve jerry-rigged their own!

      • werefreeatlast@lemmy.worldBanned
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        6 months ago

        If I can figure out the hieroglyphics, we may be able to get the two stranded space-station-auts back into the space station. I just need to recalculate the jump coordinates using a simple DM and a hairpin…oh and also a small university lab that I’ll get access to using the hairpin. Don’t worry about the details.

      • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Spinning is better than not spinning.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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      6 months ago

      Maybe it’s just misaligned.

  • cm0002@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Finally. A reason to go-to Ohio!

    I’m fucking leaving this shit hole, deuces!

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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      6 months ago

      It may still not be a good enough reason to go to Ohio. Because before you go to another planet, you’ll still have been to Ohio.

    • Blackout@fedia.io
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      6 months ago

      Says someone who’s never been to Ohio before. Their state motto is “abandon hope all ye who enter here”

      • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        I thought our state motto was “HA HA! You got stuck in Ohio!”

      • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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        6 months ago

        Ohio has drive-through liquor stores. As in a place where you drive into a little carport, stay in your car, they bring the booze to you, you pay, and drive off.

        That should tell you a lot right there.

  • Boomer Humor Doomergod@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Does it spin? Because spinning is so much cooler than not spinning.

    • Ricky Rigatoni@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      It’s a neat trick, for sure.

  • quink@lemmy.ml
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    6 months ago

    But are we sure that’s a Einstein–Rosen bridge portal device that allows for near-instantaneous teleportation across both interstellar and extragalactic distances?

    Its location doesn’t look instantaneously like a place in or even around Vancouver, BC.

    • MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml
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      But are we sure that’s a Einstein–Rosen bridge portal device that allows for near-instantaneous teleportation across both interstellar and extragalactic distances?

      No.

    • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Well first you’d have to check to see if it’s a super capacitor…

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      Uhhhhhhh, it’s not. It’s Ashland Ohio. It’s not even the same country.

      • quink@lemmy.ml
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        6 months ago

        Here I go trying to explain my joke: The joke is that Stargates can only exist in or around Vancouver, because near enough the entirety of all Stargate TV series was filmed there.

  • hotelbravo722@slrpnk.net
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    6 months ago

    Good, now get me off this planet.

  • Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Bury that shit, have you learned nothin? There isn’t even a console, meaning people can can dial in and we can’t dial out.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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      It’s ok, it’s in Ohio. They can barely read English, let alone Ancient.

      Edit: You downvoters don’t understand. I’m in Indiana so I’m allowed to say that. I don’t make the rules, I just obey them.

      • Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        You want Goa’uld? This is how you get Goa’uld.

        • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Prove to me we already don’t. Have you seen the news!

          • 𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖘@infosec.pub
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            6 months ago

            Aw dang. You got a point…

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        I’d be pissed if I understood what you were saying

      • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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        6 months ago

        As someone also in Indiana, I’m surprised there’s not a line of people just waiting on someone to dial in so they can just sprint through to wherever to get out of Ohio.

        …not that Indiana is much better.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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          6 months ago

          Oh Indiana is awful and no one should come here.

          But I’m still allowed to shit on Ohio due to my being a Hoosier.

          • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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            6 months ago

            Indiana: At least we’re not Ohio!

            • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              Can we just get a pair of signs at the border? “Welcome to Indiana/Ohio! At least we’re not Ohio/Indiana”

              And while we’re at it let’s get Defiance Ohio a sign clarifying that they aren’t the punk band of the same name.

              • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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                I’m debating on which sign would get vandalized first, lol

              • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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                6 months ago

                As a Hoosier who also did some schooling in Ohio, I would contribute to the fund for these signs.

                • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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                  And as a buckeye who did some growing up in indiana I would help put them up so long as I don’t have to spend any time in Indiana that isn’t on my way to Chicago.

        • ɔiƚoxɘup@infosec.pub
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          Living in Ohio I’ll just stand in the vortex. That’s enough for me.

      • Zess@lemmy.world
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        Ashland is really snooty so they probably can read.

  • DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world
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    Stargate is real

    • rustyfish@lemmy.world
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      Always has been.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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      6 months ago

  • slingstone@lemmy.world
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    Now all we need is a DHD, a MALP, and a power source, and we’re in business.

    • Sippy Cup@lemmy.world
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      And a Sgt Harriman for good measure.

  • OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world
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    Indeed.

  • uservoid1@lemmy.world
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    With God All Things Are Possible, So now they are trying to lure aliens?

  • M137@lemmy.world
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    “Moooom, I want a real stargate!”

    “We have a stargate at home”:

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