(CW: chapters 4 and 5 contain explicit discussions of sexual assault)

Hello comrades, it’s time for our second discussion thread for The Will to Change, covering Chapters 4 (Stopping Male Violence) and 5 (Male Sexual Being). Thanks to everyone who participated last week, I’m looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts again. And if you’re just joining the book club this week, welcome!

I’ll be sharing my full thoughts later as there’s quite a lot of unpack in these chapters.

In Ch.4 hooks delves into how patriarchal repression of men’s emotional worlds most often manifests as violence and rage, especially against women and children, and how patriarchy conditions both young boys and young girls to perpetuate the cycle. Ch.5 explores how patriarchal attitudes extend to the bedroom and twist our popular conceptions of sexuality, sexual fulfillment, and physical and emotional satisfaction.

If you haven’t read the book yet but would like to, its available free on the Internet Archive in text form, as well as an audiobook on Youtube with content warnings at the start of each chapter, courtesy of the Anarchist Audio Library, and as an audiobook on our very own TankieTube! (note: the YT version is missing the Preface but the Tankietube version has it)

As always let me know if you’d like to be added to the ping list!

Our next discussion will be on Chapters 6 (Work: What’s Love Got To Do With It?) and 7 (Feminist Manhood), beginning on 12/18.

  • Barabas [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    6·
    11 hours ago

    I have never been violent in my adulthood but the killing of the emotional sense was definitely part of my life. I have found recently that I don’t think I know what emotions feel like and never really knew that emotions were felt in the self. I thought they were just something people applied to situations. Like this is suppose to be sad so I feel sad.

    It is strange to be performing an emotion. When I get into crisis and high stress it entirely shuts down and I start performing what I’m supposed to do like an automaton. Feels very surreal, especially when you see people grieving around you and feel like a fraud and a monster for not really feeling.

    It makes me useful in emergencies as I tend to be solution focused, but I don’t think it is enough to make up for it.

    • dumplesEnglish
      5·
      10 hours ago

      When I panic or stress I definitely get robotic and solution focused. It works really well for getting things done but not in a healthy way. I had some very sad things happen recently and felt the same way you do. I felt like I should be sad but I wasn’t feeling anything. In times like that I tend to only feel it once I am by myself or sometimes never. I often feel like a robot especially after lots of stress. I just shut down inside