Why did I learn how to read?
Society forced you. Time to burn it all down.
I knew I was right to blame society for everything!
It’s a terrible day for rain.
Because you had better parents than Jared, 19.
You can un-learn easily enough: here’s a ball-peen hammer
Alcohol … Lots and lots of alcohol over many years does the same thing
Only two cures to a hangover: Don’t start, or don’t stop.
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What a horrible day to have genitals.
professional woman here:
i fucking hate it when my dick touches the bowl >:(
I was helping my daughter (3) pee. Pee came out of 3 places at once at one point, then 2.
I’ll keep my ding dong, thanks.
As a pussy haver. What the fuck
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Today we encounter the “pussy havers” and the “pussy have nots” learning side by side! Spectacular!
Ok I guess we both have it bad
I’ve had both happen, yeah both suck
How?
Some of us go from having one set of bits to having a different set of bits.
Life’s wild, my friend
Someone’s never had their balls shaved as smooth as a Christmas ham. You can definitely get bubbles floating up past your balls, but it takes a decent amount of sweat and a complete lack of hair
Sack fold
Sack Fold new bandname called it!
First album titled: Pinch & Roll
First single: Hanging around the corner
I think I’d rather have my junk hanging outside my body than to have a fart do a 180 on me
A fart is nowhere near as bad as the inside of a dirty toilet 😅
Relax guys. We all know girls don’t fart.
I can tell you haven’t met my GF.
At least we can all relate to water splashes.
Cold water splashing on our buttholes is the great gender equalizer.
Poseidon’s Kiss™️
Lol (not porn, but on redgifs because nsfw I guess?) https://www.redgifs.com/watch/unhealthylivelybarbet
A perfect example of something that should be tagged NSFW, but isn’t porn.
Oh man I had diarrhea in a porta-potty a couple weeks ago and got some splash back. I was not a happy camper.
I call bullshit. No one survives the blue touch.
Was it almost full or something? Usually the… stuff… is pretty far below the seat
That diahrea might have been extra energetic; falling at faster than terminal velocity
Oh yeah it was super energetic
Yeah you know those slow motion videos of the water droplet that bounces up from the surface tension?
Well, that. At scale.
Neptune’s Kiss…
If you live in europe or asia (i think) then probably not
Continental Europe maybe. On the islands ye be gettin’ Poseidon’s kiss.
weirdly accurate
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Big ball problems 😩
W-what?
It’s true.
(cis)Women also will never know the pain of sitting on their own balls.
Never happened. Is this even possible? They always find a way to slip up or down.
Its happened to me exactly once on a hard school chair and I still remember it, so uh yeah lol
Not inside the vagina, but the…bubble, for lack of a better term, can meander to the opening and sit there until you surreptitiously take a long stride. Might be what they mean.
Definitely happens of you aren’t careful sitting down. Feels a bit like squeezing a grape too hard
Except when I squeeze a grape too hard, it doesn’t hurt me.
I once accidently kicked my self in the nuts when I went to sit down. It wasn’t pleasant.
I have also done this and never encounter anyone else who has.
Brother!
I sat on my balls a bit before seeing this thread, which is why I thought of it.
If only my dick was big enough to touch the inside of the bowl
Tell me about it. My short stack can only rest comfortably on my nuts perched on the seat - it’s that or having my head get shredded by the razor edge of the seat lol
Lil dick click rise-up! We need to fight for our RIGHTS. We can’t take this shit no more!
Is that when your dick is buried into your nut suck so when you pee, you piss all over your balls?
Hilarious, but Buried Penis is a real condition. Small dick + overweight can be a horrible combo. If you have huge balls it’s probably the ultimate triple threat. Best be carrying wet wipes to freshen up heh
Don’t use me to feel better about your shit, little dick.
You don’t want it to be, the cold touch of a toilet bowl specially a dirty public restroom gives me chills
Only if there was some protective skin to protect the pp head.
The old witches kiss
Its neptunes kiss when you let a turd go and water shoots back up your asshole from the splash.
illustration: https://youtu.be/_eTsrtZdAJc
I don’t know what I was expecting
im with everyone here. what the fuck
