Americans now need a wanking license.
yew got a lie-sense for that boner?
What accent was that supposed to be?
Bri’ish?
Oxford Creole
Wagwan old boy
Raaaahssclaart
Slack Jaw Southern, surely
Idaho is starting a registry for at-risk men with erections, to prevent impure thoughts. You need to send a picture of your dick, where it will be validated by an evangelical priest.
Life begins at erection.
Good boy, you don’t come until Trump tells you to.
Trump branded chastity cages.
What I hate most is that that would be an effective tactic for right wing extremist groups. Keeping men sexually frustrated and insecure in their masculinity is a powerful tool for them.
Actually come to think of it, I really wouldn’t be surprised if there were a variety of political themed pro dommes these days. It seems like it would be lucrative
It seems like it would be lucrative
My mind read that as “it seems like it would be lubricative” and it still made sense.
Idk I’d be bone dry working that job
That is revolting
OI OI OI!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣠⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⠁⣩⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣾⣿⣋⡡⠤⣀⣷⣄⠠⠤⣉⣿⣷⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣟⢋⣰⣯⠉⠉⣿⢄⠉⢻⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⢿⣷⣶⠤⠔⣶⣶⠿⢾⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠠⠀⠂⠀⠀⣧⡚⢿⣿⡶⢶⡿⠟⣠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠒⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣴⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠒⠐⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢿⣋⣀⡄⠠⣢⣀⣩⣛⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
WOTS ALL THIS???
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YER WANKIN’ LOICENSE HAS EXPOIRED!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
ONE HUNNIT TESCO CLUBCARD POINTS ‘AVE BIN DEDUCTED FROM YER ACCOUN’!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
YER THREE QUID MEAL DEAL IS GONNA BE A FIVER FROM NOW ON!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A CHICKEN OR 'AM SANDWICH!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL’ IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
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Oh shitting hell lads, it’s Boris The Bouncer Bot!
Quick lads, run! Scarper before he tackles and smothers you unconscious!
Bu…bu…but I thought the Republicans were the party of freedom…
Aaaand they all immediately have one. Like they always did.
The whole porn ban thing is probably my all-time favorite example of conservatives voting against themselves.
Meanwhile, in California, I can watch all the porn I want without registering myself in a database and walk down the street to the weed store. And the women in my life still have rights over their own bodies.
So I guess Democrats are actually the party of freedom.
B- b- but, California b-b-bad! 🥺 Don’t you see how oppressed you are? You’re really oppressed out there. 🥺
California is bad for voting to keep prison slavery and refusing to solve the housing crisis with a council housing system much like the UK used to have.
Perfection is the ultimate enemy of good. I’d rather be in a place like California than some red state where I have to upload my ID to look at boobs.
who would’ve guessed
Yeah but could you imagine voting for them?
One of my fave porn vids got affected though.
— a Nord
It’s all relative. Lots of personal freedom, taxed like a mother fucker.
As it should be honestly but there are many people that don’t see it that way and view taxation as a form of oppression.
I don’t think the above commenter is saying GOP isn’t worse, but having lived there for a few years and since moved away, it’s taxed quite a bit more than other states. You definitely get a lot more out of it, so it’s just that tradeoff. Either you pay little taxes and have to pay separately for private things to do everything yourself (good for rich people, bad for everyone else), or you pay more taxes but have way more public services.
Removed by mod
Notice how the things you’re talking about are exaggerations and the comment above is not.
This comment was dumb but should NOT HAVE BEEN REMOVED.
Lol, comment about freedom get removed by mod
Freedom ain’t free.
This is pretense to intrude on other things and more importantly remove the ability to browse pornography anonymously, which is dangerous. I would never use an account to browse a porn site because why would I ever want that data linked back to me? Look at the government right now. You watch a gay or trans porn video and in a few years that could be grounds for never being able to have certain types of jobs or worse, being deemed a “miscreant”
If this was truly about protecting children they would encourage open dialogue on sex in homes and increase inclusive sex education. This is evidence based. It would still be necessary even with this nonsense because obviously vpns exist, as well as amateur run sites, sites run from outside of the USA, torrents, etc that don’t give a shit about us laws requiring age verification and will show all kinds of obscenely hardcore videos
KOSA would require age verification for these sites and social networking. Nationally.
Luckily the bill appears to be dead
Soon they’ll start recording you jerking it to cross reference with previous sessions as identity confirmation.
Well, they know what parts of what videos you watch, your favorite keywords, time/days patterns, location, I’d say they can train AI on that data
ChatGPT will be drawing conclusions from the data like “Subject is likely a tipthumbing twister (86.436% confidence) with content dependent high frequency intervals (94.738% confidence)”
It’ll analyze things like minor mouse movements, microphone audio, and use that wifi radar trick.
Can you imagine, training rec algos for porn sites on intensity of movement and facial expressions…
Edit: if this ever happens (and I’m 85% convinced it will in some way), I’ll just start crankin’ to financial spreadsheets and medication specs, keep’em guessing.
I would skip to when they start telling you about the side effects. So hot.
“Do not operate heavy machinery 4-6 hours after administering a dose” - starts grunting
Biometric Orgasm face photo lol
“Your stroke signature does not match our records”
“Verification is carried out by 3rd party”. Totally no potential to misuse of collected data.
Why no, they specifically mentioned it being highly secure
“Trust us, bro.”
See the lock icon near the URL? It says you’re secure so don’t worry bro.
Well at least it’s not going to the federal government so it should be somewhat safe
The third party has a very secure agreement to very securely sell data to 572 advertising partners and that is very securely being bought by the FBI.
Not that outlandish, since the FBI and the US police already buys advertising data streams to get access to data they are prohibited to collect directly.
It’s so bad there are already middlemen who buy data and compile it into products for law enforcement.
You forgot to mention that of course 253 of the 572 advertising partners consider their use to be a ‘legitimate interest’ under privacy legislation despite being nothing even close.
Privacy legislation? That sounds unconstitutional
INB4 SCOTUS rules Canada’s existence unconstitutional since it’s not mentioned in the original text anywhere
Isn’t ‘Legitimate interest’ a EU thing?
If it was last administration I’d say it’s just slightly annoying that our day was going to the federal government. But it’s admin…maybe not
I don’t want any administration to be able to. They should absolutely be able to buy it so long as they have a warrant for that instance of that individual or if the individual agrees to cooperate in that instance without coercion.
Related:
Florida experiences a huge 1,150% surge in VPN use as Pornhub blocks access in response to age-verification law
https://www.tomshardware.com/software/vpn/florida-experiences-a-huge-1-150-percent-surge-in-vpn-use-as-pornhub-blocks-access-in-response-to-age-verification-lawI am really curious how long it will take them to ban VPNs.
It’s impossible to ban all VPNs. And even if they somehow do it, you can get a VPS(virtual private server) from one of the cloud providers (AWS, GCP, Azure etc.) and host your own vpn service (OpenVPN, Algo, Vultr). You don’t need to know a lot about it, there are step-by-step guides for it.
Just block every AS that belongs to a hoster.
Yup, I have my own VPS hosted in Oregon, so if worst comes to worst, I can route my traffic through there.
Companies have been compiling lists of which IP blocks are consumer Internet and which are cloud services. That’s why some VPNs are now selling home internet IP VPNs.
They’ll ultimately just have to cut off the US Internet from the rest of the world, right? As long as we can access other countries with more freedom, we can enjoy that level of freedom on the Internet. Or am I not understanding how the Internet works (entirely possible)?
If it makes you feel any better, you can rest assured that Capitol Hill doesn’t know how the Internet works either.
" And again, the Internet is not something that you just dump something on. It’s not a big truck. It’s a series of tubes. And if you don’t understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it’s going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material." - Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens
To be fair, at this late date, the tubes analogy isn’t that bad. I forget what point he was trying to make though.
He wasn’t necessarily wrong, he was just an asshole. The context for the meme was a speech he gave in vehement opposition to a proposed bill amendment which would have codified net neutrality principles into law. The concept he was blundering through explaining was basically just an eli5 version of limited bandwidth. I send this message (or, in his parlance, this internet) from my phone to Lemmy. It travels through a series of tubes to get there. If the tubes are clogged with traffic, my message might have to get in line. And that’s not fair to people who have the money to not be treated like a poor.
Fun fact, Senator Stevens was the longest serving senator to lose a bid for reelection, largely due the fact that he was embroiled in a big corruption scandal at the time. The conviction ended up being vacated due to prosecutorial misconduct though, and I didn’t care to dive any deeper, but I’m inclined to believe he was a grifter. Rest in piss.
All valid points. Except for the one about not having to be treated like you’re poor, but I think that one was made in jest.
I think he was trying to download something, it was taking time, and he thought the requested files are all in order in “the tubes”. He had to wait for the other files to be delivered before his arrived.
…or something.
I mean as far as metaphors go, it’s really not that bad. It’s visual and immediately understandable, and at least connected to the underlying thing it’s describing (network traffic really does flow down a series of wries/cables that are functionally “tubes” of electrons or photons). Hell, people have been likening an internet connection to a “pipe” since at least the 90s (it was already a thing when I first got internet access in '95).
Sure the guy who said it was a dickbag, but I can think of a dozen worse analogies offhand.
They’ll most likely try to pull off a setup similar to China.
What you’re not understanding is that Florida is just a single state out of 50
The people pushing these laws are hoping it will have the “California Effect.”
Like when California says “Cars need to meet X emissions standards” so far makers just make cars everywhere meet those standards.
They are hoping that by making age verification a thing in a few states, it will become a thing everywhere.
This fails to realize that one, it’s easy to geofence a state online (VPNs being anwork around). And Two, companies generally comply with California laws because, on the whole, California passes mostly positive limitations. It only makes the cars and world better if they all meet the better emissions standards. Blocking porn like this, is a net negative.
Also, on the subject of kids accessing porn. They are going to do it anyway, anyone thinking otherwise is oblivious to the world, and two, it’s not up to the state to nanny this shit, it’s up to the parents.
I agree with all of that. What I don’t agree with is blaming the entirety of the US for this policy. This is one dumbass state, doing a dumbass thing. The UK passed a similar law and I’d be just as wrong if I shit talked the rest of Europe for it.
As of January 2025:
While Pornhub is not blocked in Louisiana, it is blocked in these 17 states, a Pornhub representative confirmed to Mashable:
Alabama
Arkansas
Florida
Idaho
Indiana
Kansas
Kentucky
Mississippi
Montana
Nebraska
North Carolina
Oklahoma
South Carolina
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Virginia
In Louisiana, where users must submit ID to view Pornhub, the site has seen traffic decline by around 80 per cent, Aylo (Pornhub’s parent company) told Mashable.
This is not just “Oh Florida is just being quirky again” this is systematic.
The UK vs EU and the states vs the USA is not apples to apples. As I understand it though, we’re actually approaching 20 US states requiring such verification. Iowa is trying to pass something similar. This is a trend across the country, which is why I generalized the USA.
When it comes to emissions laws, car co usually build a range just for California. It’s not hard to slate a few days just for a different exhaust.
And Two, companies generally comply with California laws because, on the whole, California passes mostly positive limitations.
No, companies generally comply with California laws because California is a massive market. Companies don’t, on the whole, operate on what is mostly positive for society according to a specific flavor of progressive.
Companies operate on what is most profitable, and selling to California is usually good for profits, while running a separate production line just for California usually isn’t worth it. So if the regulations aren’t too expensive to meet, they’ll just switch the whole production over to meet California law because that minimizes costs and maximizes sales. The same kind of thing also happens with Texas, for much the same reason - especially with textbooks.
Some US states already have more restrictive abortion laws than Saudi Arabia, so why not Internet laws too.
Every YouTuber sponsored by nordvpn: 🤑🤑🤑
Me: This is America.
Pornhub: This content is not available in your state due to ID verification legislation.
My VPN: This is Germany.
deleted by creator
What ?
you need to login to watch youtube in US ?
Didn’t knew that
Eh, no need for crazy latency, just get one in Colorado or something nearby.
This is how we lose access to personal encryption
What do you mean?
They were unintentionally demonstrating their lack of intelligence.
What do YOU mean?
I don’t care if kids see porn.
If that’s the worst thing ever, justifying this invasion of privacy, whoop de shit. Let 'em.
There’s a lot worse on the internet. There’s a lot worse on daytime television. Blood and guts and cults and informercials. Desirable crude entertainment is obviously not worth locking down the internet. I mean for fuck’s sake, at least with “four horsemen” excuses, like terrorism and money laundering, people agree that those things are bad.
It’s absolutely reprehensible that you think it’s okay for a child to see an infomercial
The thing is that by now, plenty of adults grew up watching porn when they were minors, and know that this hasn’t been harmful to them… so why are we even still getting laws like that, shouldn’t voters and their representatives know better by now…
These people are not results-oriented.
I’m stealing that for the next time I have to explain that I’m being held up by a third party not doing what they’re supposed to.
They are. Their intended result is just not the result they claim to want.
It’s old white fossils trying to stay in power by getting crazy christians to vote for them.
What about addiction? It’s not 100% but very possible
What about it? Hell of a lot lore likely with caffeine and we don’t make you age verify when a kid buys coffee or tea or soda. If addiction occurs, that’s the jurisdiction of medical professionals and the person’s support network.
Being on porn sites all day is healthier than being on social media all day.
I’d disagree.
I mean, blood pressure and prostate health alone…
Sure, but thats not from porn, thats from jerking off. You should be able to do that without porn.
And you can live on food without spices.
OK, so we should require everyone to present ID for anything that could be addictive? That’s some awful “save the kids” BS. Screw that!
If you want to prevent your kids from watching porn, cool, do that. But don’t force everyone else to ID themselves because you’re too lazy to actually parent your kids.
I was never exposed to porn on the internet as a child, outside of advertisements and typing website names wrong. I never looked for it either, if a child is actively seeking it out, its up to a parent to deal with it. People should stop making laws to protect bad parents.
its up to a parent to deal with it
What a nice cherry on top of the hypocrisy pie. The party of “personal responsibility” and “small government” is perfectly happy when government is used to regulate sexuality and help out the irresponsible parents that don’t want to spend time monitoring their children’s Internet usage. Now young teens are going to learn how to use VPNs or just find the shadier sites that don’t give a shit about U.S. state laws.
Both of which would be adequately addressed by parents learning how to use the tools that are probably already built into their router.
Exactly. Screw everyone on both sides of the aisle that thinks this is anywhere near a good idea.
If you hate porn, be vocal about tools to block stuff you don’t like on your own network. Maybe even require ISPs to distribute that info to their customers. But don’t force anyone to do it.
Yes, you’re right. But that doesn’t fit with their “think of the children” moral compass. Which isn’t even pointing the correct direction, but good luck convincing them of that.
I feel like my compass analogy isn’t the best, but eh.
A valid response to “think of the children” is “fuck them kids.”
It’s not enough to politely disagree. Some fucks need to be dismissed.
I like this
Let me child see porn or trust a porn site with their photo and IS?
At least they owned the liberals, right?
It must be real inconvenient to have to turn on a VPN, it’s like a whole button that they have to click, Libs totally owned. Meanwhile the actual weird idiots that voted for this can barely operate a mouse and so they actually do have to suffer the consequences of their own decisions.
well yes it’s inconvenient to have to pay to pretend to be in another country to access a website
Then there’s “normal” websites that use cloudflare and blocks vpn access for no good reason (looking at you Home Depot and Lowe’s), or worse yet, they redirect you to a country-specific website based on the ip location.
You mean like Reddit? Reddit folded to OpenAI btw. Open AI was co-founded by Elon Musk. You can just tell they are not on the good side of history.
Like a lot of websites. I also forgot to mention how Google has to verify you’re human because you’re on VPN.
Big box stores vary prices by regions. So no vpn makes sense.
That’s why they have the ability to lookup and select a store. I actually opened a help desk ticket with Home Depot and they did eventually fix it so vpn is allowed. Lowe’s I kinda just gave up by that point.
Why another country? Just pick a neighboring state so you don’t get terrible latency.
And Proton VPN is free and is probably fast enough to get the job done. Or there’s Tor. You don’t necessarily have to pay.
Trump needs to add jailtime for using VPN’s.
“Hey frogs, stay in the hot water, it’s not boiling yet!”
Guilty Canadian Admission:
In my teens I lived in Brockville Ontario near Ogdensburg New York and watched a lot of US channels. The Star Spangled Banner came on at the beginning of the broadcast day for some channels.
For many years, I thought the first line was “Jose can you see”
When I was a kid I thought the “for which it stands” in the national anthem was in reference to a country called “witchistan”, which was presumably full of witches.
I think Jose is from Witchistan
I actually snickered. Thanks for that.
Nah, Witchistan’s national anthem is much more of a banger.
Bonus points if your name is Jose.
I accidentally came up with a Minnesotan version: “Oh hey, can you see”
deleted by creator
Does the UK have anti porn laws? Can’t say that being very effective, since I appear to be circumventing them without intending to.
It’s not in effect yet: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cwye3qw7gv7o
People with humiliation fetishes are gonna love this shit.
Make sure you cum on your ID first as tribute.
deleted by creator
That sounds like a chicken and egg problem. How is the cum getting on the ID before accessing the porn? If you use another means, surely you will no longer be in the mood for accessing a porn site…
About time to invest in a VPN
Yet another republican tax increase.
Depends on how much other media you consume. If you’re forced to get a VPN anyway I bet you’re more likely to start looking into pirating everything else, too
With Meta officially saying that leeching is totally okay as long as you’re not seeding, go for it.
But you should totally seed and be a good citizen though.
Eh, I see it as a necessity in the modern age, it’s politically agnostic for me. I run a full time VPN as a matter of privacy and security.
VPN doesn’t really do anything for security, and it only really gives you privacy from your ISP. They’re very much over-marketed by VPN companies.
It absolutely does provide security on a public WiFi network.
Not really.
If your browser is properly configured, it’ll recognize a MITM attack, so you’ll know if your traffic is properly encrypted because it checks root certs against a known good set. The only concern is domain name leakage (both from DNS and SNI), but that’s a privacy thing, not a security thing. DoH fixes the DNS issue, so consider that for a low hanging fruit privacy win.
If you’re accessing things outside a browser… don’t do that on public WiFi unless you can confirm it verifies certificates.
Removed by mod
There have been a number of (I’ll admit, not high-risk) security updates since then.
Yeah, keep up on those.
I use a Hetzner VPS ($5, ha!) as a VPN and run updates every month or two. It only takes a minute and you could automate it if you want.
Ive had mullvad on my router for 2 years :p
God bless that mole
Yeah and just torrent porn or use those debrid services. Stop giving these sites that bend the knee traffic.
Don’t bend the knee when you want to choke the chicken
What if I just want to choke my monkey?
Freedom
