Summary
Edward Coristine, a 19-year-old DOGE staffer nicknamed “Big Balls,” reportedly provided tech support to the cybercrime group EGodly through his company DiamondCDN.
EGodly, known for online of hacking government emails and cyberstalking FBI agent, publicly thanked DiamondCDN for DDoS protection in 2023.
Coristine, now a senior adviser at the State Department and CISA, did not respond to requests for comment.
Critics, including former CISA deputy director Nitin Natarajan, expressed concern over Coristine’s recent ties to cybercriminals while holding government network access.
I have to say, Trump’s tactic of doing so many impeachable things so fast that nobody even tries to impeach him anymore is working stunningly well.
He will never have any consequences the Supreme Court has made sure of that.
I mean, it doesn’t help that literally everyone is cooperating. Not a single person has refused to leave their post, locked themselves in, thrown a punch, fought back, gotten arrested. Every federal worker “fired” has rolled over and taken it.
Americans are pussies. They have been telling themselves that their right to bear arms is enough, so they never bothered to learn actual resistance.
Their schools never taught anything about fascism except “we kicked their asses and saved Europe!” so the general population just aren’t capable of recognizing fascism on the rise.
Now that its here, they still think they can stop it by playing fair.
Pussies.
Implying that the “right to bear arms” crowd is the same as the “playing fair” crowd…?? Are you high or are you just that ignorant about US culture?
Every American i ever met in real life has been in favor of civilians owning guns. Maybe some of them wanted better restrictions, but i have never met an American that wanted to get rid of all guns.
Cool anecdote, love the sample size.
I think plenty of them recognize it, they just can’t organize by themselves. The seeds of distrust have been planted long ago, now they’re starting to give fruit.
You want to know what happens to people who fight back? Look at Vindman and Snowden and Manning (not saying the latter two did everything right, of course, but they put themselves on the line). Democrats did nothing for them. If no one fights for the people who fight back, why would they just throw everything away? No one wants to be a martyr. No one wants to be left out to dry.
We haven’t fought for the people who fight for democracy. How surprising is the consequence, really?
A bunch of DoJ lawyers quit rather than not prosecute Adams.
I doubt that it will stop the fascists if the good guys quit though.
Agreed; but, to be fair, “leave their post” was one of the things the person
homesweethomeMrLwas responding to said absolutely no one was apparently doing.It was “refuse to leave their post” ;)
Ah! Right you are; I misread.
As if impeachment would do anything. He was impeached twice in his last presidency and it didn’t do shit.
When you pack the courts with Trump supporters there are no consequences.
It worked once. Why not twice. Why stop when no one is stopping you?
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-complete-listing-atrocities-1-1-056
We call it Three Stooges Syndrome
I don’t know if anyone is trying but someone in Congress should keep a running list of impeachable offenses and keep filing the full list every week until they have enough votes from more moderate Republicans. Sooner or later he will piss off enough of Congress.
It’s the gish gallop of presidencies.
I mean, if democrats controlled the house he would be getting impeached, it’s not the volume or quality of the crimes, it’s the fact Republicans don’t care.
Why does everything have to be so fucking stupid? Is it really not enough that we have to watch the destruction of democracy happen before our eyes? Must it really be carried out by a group named after an early 2010s internet meme featuring a Shiba Inu with bad grammar? Do we really have to read serious reporting about the criminal connections of a 19-year-old government employee called “Big Balls?”
I just never imagined the fall of American democracy would be so… inane.
It’s all part of it.
Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert.
When you complain about Big Balls at DOGE, it makes you sound ridiculous, which makes it easier to dismiss your concerns.
Yup. It’s the exact same reason that the KKK has ridiculous titles for its leaders like “grand wizard” and “grand dragon”. It’s an old playbook, but why fix it if it ain’t broke?
Reality is exceptionally mundane. I watched contrapoints video about conspiracies last night, and I was struck over and over again by this idea. Reality is boring. Why did Elon Musk decide to surround himself with 19 year old boys in his little DOGE club? Because that’s exactly how he sees himself. He surrounds himself with very young, very online/techy men because he sees himself as a very young, very online /techy man. He sees himself as a popular frat boy. The outsider in politics. I guarantee you he tells them when he sleeps with someone. They absolutely have group chats where they all talk amongst themselves and include him the same way. He’s just a delusional divorced man who is almost universally hated by people who aren’t either literally paid to like him or incentivised to like him because of his politics and position of power.
There are literally millions of men like him in America alone. Most of them are his followers. Why does he have the position of power that he does? Cause he fucking paid for it. That’s all. It’s exceptionally boring. It’s melodrama in its finest. America dies not with a hammer blow but with the slow whistle of air leaving a bike tire. It’s anticlimactic. It’s mundane hollow reality. It’s a story told a thousand times before. Egotistic racist divorced man is promoted to management of an office. A few months later, after thoroughly ruining everything, the office is closed for good. Life is empty. The glory we were told was there never existed. The climactic final battle is largely fictional.
Resistance isn’t really about grand fights or sweeping upheaval. It’s about changing material conditions for people. Helping those who need it. Organizing communities and building solidarity. Sweeping upheaval comes as a consequence of those things, but isn’t itself a conscious focus. We remember revolutions for their sweeping upheavals, for their bloody final battles. But that wasn’t what people in those movements had been working for. We don’t talk about the growing class solidarity in the face of repeated violence from the ruling class over decades. The disillusionment people feel from their rights being lost. We ignore those things cause they don’t make good stories to tell in the moment. Resistance itself is (mostly) boring labor and nuisance civil disobedience.
Definitely some “peaked in high school” vibes lol
Ok, for real this just helped me make sense of a whole mess of stressful shit running through my brain today. Thank you.
For shits and giggles, I tried to go the path of “yeah but…” starting with his nickname. Surely he was named “big balls” a decade or so ago by other people, no he named himself. Surely his previous connections are just that, previous and years if not decades old, no, it’s 2 years, at most.
“Big Balls” is 19 y/o 🙄 at this point. He gave himself that name and has ties to unknown hackers. He has “senior advisor” status, filling a role, that should likely be filled by a bureaucrat accountant - as opposed to a kid whose resume is being a ‘techbro with hacker connections’ and programming knowledge.
I just have to curse here. Jesus fucking Christ! What the hell! Dummkopf, i’idiot, idiota, was zur holle, що в біса, що в біса
He probably took big risks in online video games because he paid for an ultra low latency connection.
It has to be this fucking stupid, because the weapon of choice against democracy is idiocracy.
Yeah, it seems like the original Nazis tried to present themselves as some form of sophisticated aristocracy. They wouldn’t have had some kid from the Hitler Youth Boy Scouts called “Big Balls” reporting to Goebbels.
Maybe, maybe not.
But you cannot deny Goebbels sounds like a noise made during oral sex. Or at least it is a request for it.
If I saw this as a plot of a Movie/TV show, I’d think it’s ridiculous and not watch it.
This is just bizzare and absurb, this simulation is broken.
This has the plot of a CBS show.
19 year old hacker kid gets contracted to work for the government because he’s “the best”
Except this is the real world where 19 year olds aren’t good at much of anything beyond learning that dating sucks and unlimited masturbating is fun.
Guarantee you this kid got hired because he can use ChatGPT to generate code that barely does what he wants.
Also guarantee you this kid is also the target of honeypot stings from every intelligence agency outside of America, plus maybe a few inside, and he will fall for it and divulge dangerous information.
Tin Cup was a good movie.
Idiocracy was way too optimistic about the future.
It’s going to be more like Back to the Future 2 but Biff is Trump
Biff IS Trump, that’s who they based the character on
I didn’t know that but it’s obvious now you point it out.
The president in Idiocracy was willing to listen to someone else… so yeah. Definitely way too optimistic.
Except we have the phrase “young people just know tech better than everyone else!” instead of: “Brawndo has what plants crave!” and we have the supposed “genius” (lol) fElon waving around a gigantic shiny chainsaw instead of Camacho’s gun…
The Orange Turd and his buddy Elon are running a criminal operation so sounds about right.
I was gonna say. The past tense “provided” is a bit misleading when he’s still doing it.
I have a feeling Big Balls actually has teeny-tiny balls.
He’s so young I don’t think they’ve dropped yet.
every time I hear big balls I just imagine big head from silicon valley
In a June 2022 message, an executive of the firm in question, Path Network, said that Coristine had been terminated for leaking internal information to competitors. They added that this was unacceptable and noted that the company had zero tolerance for it.
A spokesperson for the cybersecurity firm also said on Thursday that Coristine’s brief contract with the company was terminated after an internal investigation concluded. This was to look into the leaking of proprietary company information during the teen’s tenure at the Arizona-based hosting and data-security firm, according to Yahoo News.
Weeks after his termination, Coristine wrote in a Discord post in 2022 that he had retained access to the cybersecurity firm’s computers. The teen said he had the opportunity to wipe Path Network’s customer-supporting servers if he wanted to, but he did not, saying he never exploited his access.
https://krebsonsecurity.com/2025/02/teen-on-musks-doge-team-graduated-from-the-com/
Wired reported this week that a 19-year-old working for Elon Musk‘s so-called Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) was given access to sensitive US government systems even though his past association with cybercrime communities should have precluded him from gaining the necessary security clearances to do so. As today’s story explores, the DOGE teen is a former denizen of ‘The Com,’ an archipelago of Discord and Telegram chat channels that function as a kind of distributed cybercriminal social network for facilitating instant collaboration.
One does kind of get the feeling that perhaps Big Balls could have done with a bit more vetting.
EDIT:
Also, there’s his grandfather:
https://www.jacobsilverman.com/p/prominent-doge-staffer-is-grandson
In 1980, KGB officer Valery Fedorovich Martynov was sent to the US to serve undercover at the Soviet Embassy in Washington, DC. He was a Line X officer, part of a technical espionage division. Martynov had a wife and two young children, and they enjoyed traveling to cities on the eastern seaboard and enjoying life in what was one of the KGB’s most desirable postings.
What the ‘trump salute’ wasn’t enough?
This might not be the biggest problem in this story but HOW CAN YOU BE A SENIOR ADVISOR AT THE STATE DEPARTMENT AT AGE 19
Especially when he is a low-level cybercriminal.
Well in fairness, he seems to have made several companies while in high school. He was probably the only employee, but admittedly I sure didn’t have that kind of giva shit in High School. And anyway, the range of experience or knowledge needed to be “senior” in tech is absurdly large. 4 years in the work force isn’t uncommon to get to senior. Just change jobs twice and demand a title bump each time… you go from engineer to mid-level, to senior. Other people retire at 60 as a senior engineer. It’s just a dumb title.
Not even surprised. DOGE had the US government fire a bunch of cyber security staff and they’re also no longer monitoring for cyber threats coming out of Russia. I have no doubt at all that we will find out at some point that Russia has had virtually unrestricted access to US government networks. This is all very intentional.
Why are there no photos of big balls?
Trying googling for “photos of big balls” and get back to us.
There’ll be lots of “big balls” with the RFK Jr endorsed mumps epidemic.
Why does it only affect one testicle??
Asking the important questions!!
I know it’s off topic but now I’m super curious. How does it know which one to pick?
A bonus?
Its impacts fertility. So, hopefully, the idiots don’t reproduce, too much, or too often.
In The Handmaids Tale, it’s the men who are infertile, not the women. They won’t just take their inability to reproduce sitting down.
it’s the men who are infertile, not the women.
Well, it’s that way in reality now also. Over 50% of men worldwide have serious fertility issues now.
For anyone wanting to express their concerns, Edward.H.Coristine@doge.eop.gov erm71@who.eop.gov
Be sure to use a burner email and through TOR network. DO NOT USE YOUR REAL EMAIL!
Sure, why not?
I mean, “we” let an unvetted, unelected supposed “genius” run this operation called “doge”, so of course, why wouldn’t unvetted teenagers with no security clearance and no relevant experience (because, how the fuck could you have enough relevant experience as a fucking TEENAGER - fucking car rental places even know this much) be involved?
I’m fairly certain no one else calls him ‘Big Balls’ - I think that’s just what he calls himself. And I’m pretty certain that the only reason to have big balls is if you’re not getting any.
How much did he sell U.S. secrets for?
Doesn’t the name just say it all?
That merit, though.
