North Carolina’s new $300 billion state budget contains a provision that gives extraordinary investigative powers to a partisan oversight committee co-chaired by Senate Leader Phil Berger (R) and House Speaker Tim Moore (R). The Joint Legislative Committee on Government Operations — or Gov Ops for short — is empowered to seize “any document or system of record” from anyone who works in or with state and local government during its investigations. The rule applies to contractors, subcontractors, and any other non-state entity “receiving, directly and indirectly, public funds,” including charities and state universities.
That’s right, Jebediah. You tell ‘em. Ain’t no varmints nor lawmen gettin’ through yer door. They’ll get a face fulla buckshot, aw’ right.
Dang old revenuers, man!
Own a musket for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four
ruffiansGov Ops staff break into my house. “What the devil?” as I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, misses him entirely because it’s smoothbore and nails the neighbor’s dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot. “Tally ho lads” the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. Bleeds out waiting on thepoliceEMTs to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.