Sorry, Noah, but that’s just not realistic. The adults in the room are talking, and we’ve decided that only a six state solution is acceptable. A hexagonal coalition of ursine states. In the very center where they all meet will be a hexagonal table where the hexbear council meets.
Only six? Are you really thinking about this seriously? 51 States. Imagine it. We will call it New Burgerland and impose McNugget law.
I support a 3 state solution:
- Palestine
- New Palestine
- Democratic People’s Republic of Palestine
the Palestinian Union, if you will.
The United States of Palestine might get USA backing
But Noah, why would having three Palestines be better than just one Palestine?
If number go up is good for capitalism, it must be good for international diplomacy.
PALESTINES GO UP
A Palestine for every Palestinian and each a seat on the UNSC!
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While the Balkanized pan-european pseudo-nations of the mid-northern Amerikas refer to themselves as “states”, this is almost certainly a misnomer caused by envy of more developed nations in the geopolitical sphere. The current situation is due some historical minutia regarding one of their civil wars. While there once existed a project to allow a coalition of independent nation-states to operate as a single federation on the international stage, the project was killed over a disagreement about the continuation of open air slave markets. While believers in the federation would previously refer to the project using the plural, “The United States are”, even the most adamant supporters following this particular territorial dispute would go on to refer to the federation using the singular, “The United States is”. Even with such a decisive shift in the political landscape, though the practice is now taboo, the Amerikan nations all continue to practice some form of slavery today, albeit under the umbrella of a single dysfunctional state apparatus.
Ethnic cleansing is off the table
The way that’s framed makes it sound like a painstaking weighed decision that pains the liberal making it.
Well does he consider the colonists returning to Europe to be a form of ethnic cleansing?
The idea that it would be on the table is freak-brained and speaks to the Zeitgeist in ways that the author surely didn’t intend. The same way you don’t have to mention inventing a time machine to go back and kill Hitler probably isn’t going to be the main focus, you don’t have to mention that ethnic cleansing isn’t a good solution.
It really does remind me of those “redpill” creeps that seriously offer as a sales pitch (because they see relationships as transactional) that they promise not to do a sexual violence to their dates.
“have you tried three state solution AND ethnic cleansing?”
People get paid to write this shit holy fuck
edit:
spoiler
Even his lapel is balkanized
“I’m putting together a crew.”
More like: “I’m taking apart a crew”
no one told me he’s kinda fine? NATO zaddy
Four states that’s my final offer take it or leave it
- Solid
- Liquid
- Gas
- Plasma
Yeah that about does it
Counter proposal - zero state solution
Counter-counter proposal: -1 state solution.
counter-counter-counter proposal: infinite state solution.
sovereign citizens rejoice 
And so it begins
to be fair, I have seen most of the palestine leftist movement want a Marxist state. Most Anti-colonial movements use anti-colonial nationalism so they seek to establish their own state.
okay yeah Im replying to a joke ik just being silly
YOU CANT HAVE A FUCKING CONTIGUOUS STATE OF PALESTINE WITHOUT ETHNICALLY CLEANSING THE SETTLERS.
edit: AND IF YOU’RE FUCKING MIXING UP PALESTINIANS AND ISRAELIS ANYWAYS THEN DOING ANYTHING BUT A SINGLE STATE IS JUST MAPFUCKER HUBRIS.
Can’t you just subject them to Palestinian law same as everyone else?
There are no longer Israeli and it returns to them being Palestinian Jews. The way it was before Israel was invented. A national identity rather than the settler colonial ethno-state they have spent the better part of the last century trying to create.
The settlements are still built as an explicit plan to make a Palestinian state impossible in practical terms, their status as a settler and their entire current lives are a deliberate act of ethnic cleansing against Palestinians.
What would the third state even be?
They’re not like ice cream, you can’t swirl nations!
I assume he means separating Gaza and the West Bank into separate states but that really isn’t the source of the problem
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I like how the subhead reiterates that “ethnic cleansing is off the table” as if it was once a reasonable option to consider.
“Ethnic cleansing” is Zionist-speak for “Israel no longer settling Palestinian land”.
non-contiguous states just don’t work
You’re gonna need a little more than three then.
If you’re gonna end up with a mix of Palestinians and Israeli settles within the same borders anyways, then thats literally just the single state solution.
Any further amount of states beyond that in this scenario is just an act of fetishistic masturbation on the part of these op-ed mapfucker freaks, finally reaching climax with the thought that they didn’t miss out on all the fun due to being born after all the big wars.
Ask me about my zero-state solution.
Fuck it, everyone gets their own state
Matt Yglesias about to propose a one billion state solution
Somebody call Oprah
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