I think that in a rational society everyone should feel free to choose their name, and doing so should be a normal and expected rite of passage.

It makes way more sense to choose the sound people make when they refer to you, than having your parents choose it for you before you’re even a person yet.

  • Maoo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    Many cultures have had people choose their own names - or at least getting another one - after some kind of rite of passage to adulthood.

  • ProfessorOwl_PhD [any]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    In Worst Korea at about 10 or 11 years old kids choose their “English name” for foreigners to use. This is terrible in theory because of the colonial nature of refusing to pronounce Korean names properly, but hilarious in practice because it means you meet kids with names like “chocolate” or “cake” because it’s something they like.

    • oktherebuddy@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      Asian people solidarity trans people: having inspired English names

      Partner knew two Chinese dudes in college who roomed together and chose the names Action and Lancelot. Hard to beat that probably.

      • Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        I’m imagining a Chinese cartoon about an American guy named Action Lancelot who rides a motorcycle and eats nothing but cheeseburgers.

      • ProfessorOwl_PhD [any]@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        I mean they had some terrible ones as well. The Korean woman who first explained it to me had chosen “Elizabeth” after the fucking Queen, so we all just used her Korean name instead.

    • SerLava [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      Most Koreans I knew chose from the 10th most popular to 30th most popular white people names, and that’s it. So like Brian, Amy, Emily. Except for one guy who just picked a Chinese-sounding name that sounded like a Mortal Kombat character, because he could. Like I don’t wanna dox myself but it might as well have been Chang Tsung, It was pretty badass tbh

  • SkibidiToiletFanAcct [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    mrw I read the roster for my 8th grade class, and I see my students are “Abundance Of Onslaught, Falling Outside the Normal Moral Constraints, I Blame The Parents, The Usual But Etymologically Unsatisfactory, Of Course I still Love You, Fine Till You Came Along, But Who’s Counting?, Grey Area, Uninvited Guest, and Prime Mover”

    • Smeagolicious [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      See I’m more on that 82 White Chain Born in Emptiness Returns to Subdue Evil, that 10 Vigilant Gaze Purges the Horizon, that 6 Juggernaut Star Scours the Universe, yknow that 23 Liminal Blossom Punctures the Heart of the Unrepentant Deliciously shit.

  • SpiderFarmer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    My dad almost named me Jethro but my mom talked him out of it. I got a green thumb and I listen to folk music. It would’ve been perfect.

  • PaX [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    Based

    The only people who call me my birth-assigned name are my parents, governments, debt collectors, etc lol

    It’s not even gender-related or anything. I just don’t identify with that name at all

    Doesn’t even have to be a one-time thing even. People change a lot throughout their lives. If someone wants to change their name sometimes to reflect that, that should be okay

    • AlicePraxis [any]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      nice, I’m trying to get on that, if I ever start meeting people again. I don’t like introducing myself with my given name so I’d like to start using my chosen name with new people even if I’m not comfortable telling my family. also making art under the new name might help the transition and I’m using it online in a couple places (not here tho)

      my situation is somewhat gender related - or rather it’s related to the fact that I don’t have a gender hexbear-agender

  • Babs [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    This was how magic the gathering introduced their first trans character, and it was pretty cool. She was like from a tribe where they choose their names after their first victory in battle, so when it’s her turn and she’s like “I’m naming myself after my grandmother” everyone is like “ok yeah that’s cool, you just killed a dragon who are we to question this”

    • Michael [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      Alesha, Who Smiles at Death is a pretty ballin name. Here’s the full story if anyone wants to read it.

      The section of the story where she names herself:

      "It had been a day like this, a battle very much like this, when Alesha won the right to name herself. With blood running down her back where the dragon’s claws had raked her flesh, she pulled a spear from a dead man’s back and plunged it into the beast’s mouth, up into its brain. The spear shaft splintered, but the dragon died in an instant. She didn’t remember if she had been afraid as the monstrous head lunged at her.

      What she remembered was the panic that came after. Earning her war name had been her only goal. When the fight was over, she stood silently among the other young ones who were boasting of their accomplishments and the bold, grisly names they would choose. Headsmasher. Skullcleaver. Wingbreaker—Gedruk had been among them. Some of them, mostly orcs, boasted of their ancestors’ deeds and spoke of their pride in adopting those ancestors’ names. She had been so different—only sixteen, a boy in everyone’s eyes but her own, about to choose and declare her name before the khan and all the Mardu.

      The khan had walked among the warriors, hearing the tales of their glorious deeds. One by one, they declared their new war names, and each time, the khan shouted the names for all to hear. Each time, the horde shouted the name as one, shaking the earth.

      Then the khan came to Alesha. She stood before him, snakes coiling in the pit of her stomach, and told how she had slain her first dragon. The khan nodded and asked her name.

      “Alesha,” she said, as loudly as she could. Just Alesha, her grandmother’s name.

      “Alesha!” the khan shouted, without a moment’s pause.

      And the whole gathered horde shouted “Alesha!” in reply. The warriors of the Mardu shouted her name.

      In that moment, if anyone had told her that in three years’ time she would be khan, she just might have dared to believe it."

    • invo_rt [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      “ok yeah that’s cool, you just killed a dragon who are we to question this”

      I love that. It beats the hell out of something like Skyrim where some guard will give you shit for talking to them after they ostensibly watch you shout a dragon out of the air, beat it to death, suck its soul, and harvest its bones all while wearing armor made of other creatures hearts that is essentially bleeding.

      • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        tbf, that’s because they’re given dialogue options based on quests and skill-levels, not overall level. They can’t react to how you are right now. The MTG characters were written, not coded, so they can respond appropriately to what just happened.

  • AlpineSteakHouse [any]@hexbear.net
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    10 months ago

    Having to change the paperwork is a bureaucratic nightmare and should absolutely not be the normal.

    Trans comrades get a pass as well as anyone who actively cares enough to change it but it is a mess of paperwork for everyone.

    • AlicePraxis [any]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      does it have to be a bureaucratic nightmare though? I mean in a society where this was the norm there might be a better system in place to address this

      besides people do it all the time when they get married. straight women are still largely expected to change their last names due to bullshit patriarchal reasons but that’s another issue

      • HexBroke [any, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        Here the paperwork is pretty reasonable, you can do a change of name at the same time as choosing a new sex descriptor

        It’s one form for the name, then a couple more forms for licences and passports

      • Great_Leader_Is_Dead@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        My mom changed her name after her divorce and she still gets random shit from the government and companies with her old name. Until we can come up with some universal digital archive for all data, it’s probably gonna remain a nightmare.

    • ilyenkov [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      All official bureaucratic forms and stuff could just use an unchanging unique identifier (like the ones we already use: SSN, driver’s license, etc.); and people vould change what they want other people to call them any time they wanted.

      • AlpineSteakHouse [any]@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        If you want to remove the ability to identify family structure which is one of the big reasons we have names then sure.

        Also, trying to get documentation to someone based only on a pin is going to be absolute hell.

        “Hey, I have a tax form for #3209823 do you know where I might find them? Their last address seems to be outdated but I know they live here”

        “What’s their name?”

        “I don’t know.”

        • ilyenkov [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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          10 months ago

          Well, housing should be state owned and provided, and all jobs through the state. So yeah, the state shouldn’t be losing track of people like that. Also abolish the family.

    • Saeculum [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      10 months ago

      Super easy in the UK, you just fill out a form with two witnesses, and hey presto.

      Some organisations like banks want a special version of the form you need to pay £50 for, but otherwise it’s free and requires minimal interaction with the government.

      • Saeculum [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        10 months ago

        The main thing stopping me is that I don’t want to upset my parents. I don’t dislike it that much either so it’s not really a problem, but in the absence of that concern , I probably would change it.

        • AlicePraxis [any]@hexbear.netOP
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          10 months ago

          I’m in a similar situation, it’s a hard thing to tell your parents that you don’t want the name they gave you, most parents will push back on it or outright refuse to respect it. It’s an example of how unhealthy the nuclear family dynamic is in our culture.

          Though I want to change my last name as well, but to my paternal grandmother’s maiden name (which is also my current middle name) so I’m still keeping that one in the family.

  • Sprucie@feddit.uk
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    10 months ago

    At what age should you choose though? I’m not sure I’d appreciate the name 1 year old me might pick for myself.

    • AlicePraxis [any]@hexbear.netOP
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      10 months ago

      there doesn’t have to has to be a specific age, you can change it as many times as you’d like - or not at all, if you like the name your parents picked. most people would probably settle on something in their teens or 20s but everyone’s different

      really I’m just calling for a general cultural respect for a person’s choice to self-identify, where we all agree to like, not make a big deal about it, ya know?