This happens in Germany.
Work culture doesn’t fit my personality: I don’t talk much, I keep to myself, I simply want to do my job and go home, I separate my personal life from work, my colleagues are full fledged gossips, ignore the duties that need to be done and then expect me to help them when they are late. I don’t have patience for that crap anymore.
Due to internal regulations, I have to stay on the unit for 4 weeks after sending my notice. Answering honestly the question of why I’m quitting would ensure that they yell at me and bully me, and I don’t want to experience that again. Even saying ‘it’s none of your business’ ensures that they feel insulted and start yelling. I have decided I don’t have patience for people like that anymore.
So, what do I say?
This is where my mind went too. Instead of a dull response, come up with some elaborate, ridiculous response.
Tell them you got recruited by the US CIA to root out foreign corporate espionage and begin your training with Seal Team Six in 4 weeks.
So, an elaborate form of “if I told you, I’d have to kill you after”
“My undercover job here is done.”