I dunno about worst, but I fucking hate 300. It tries so hard to insert Snyder’s american fetishism in the setting that it quite literraly inverts reality to show the brave, patriot, manly, free,
christian americansSpartans facing the evil, godless, deformed, queer, arabs.Pesonally, I usually can ignore shitty politics when watching a good movie, and sometimes even good slop, but 300 even fails to be a good action movie because it had to add a shitty slow motion effect every time Zack Snyder jerks off to how smart he is
300 is so fucked up. Imagine presenting the Spartans as good guys after opening with a narrator telling us they murder any babies they see as imperfect.
If you think that’s bad, just read about how they treated their Helot slaves.
Mandatory ritualistic beating and shaming, and a yearly actual purge to keep them in line.
Spartans are about the most pathetic culture to have ever existed.
Spartans are about the most pathetic culture to have ever existed.
They were also a bunch of idle fancy lads whose requirement for citizenship/personhood was literally “rich enough to come chill at the country club with the lads all day without ever having to work even a single day” while also being extremely greedy so that they’d buy up the land of anyone whose wealth dipped a little leading to their “eligible for military service” class consistently shrinking all the time to the point that they did major land redistribution twice in order to restore the size of their citizen class (since they were the only ones allowed to be “real” soldiers, as opposed to all the non-citizen light soldiers and enslaved canon fodder they also used).
And before you think “oh, so given their supposed martial prowess they were using that free time to stay in shape and do drills or something?” the answer is no, they were literally just hanging out drinking and eating at their rich boy clubs all day and their actual military performance was not measurably distinct from other Greek city states (including their neighbors) for most of their history, even though they liked to wank about how they were best and coolest because “remember Leonidas?” and shit, with only a pretty brief window where they seem to have actually started to try to live up to their own propaganda and managed to be a regional power before then failing again and rapidly diminishing to the point that the city of Sparta itself became lost and forgotten with the descendants of the Spartans reduced to just being some small time fishermen in a tiny village well before the Roman era.
IIRC there was some kind of reenactment of spartan life thing going on in sparta during the roman era. roman tourists would go and look at them “train”.
absolutely pathetic.
even though they liked to wank about how they were best and coolest because “remember Leonidas?”
Hellenistic
“made the winning touchdown that one time” energy.except he lost that one battle he’s famous for. the greeks lost. as usual, we’re celebrating losers.
If I recall correctly, I think the chad who led the Persians through the mountain pass was a Helot.
I fo real turned off the movie (i only gave it a shot cuz my friend wouldn’t shut up about it) right then. ‘Na, this movie will make me madder from here’ i thought.
That part’s for calibrating your
You know what’s funny? The supposedly unbiased justifications you hear from chuds on American exceptionalism or colonialism was present with Persians: they’re the more advanced society, they were far better educated and also that whole ‘everyone invades everyone all the time tho!’. The depiction of the Persians in this movie should’ve been met with accusations of wokism for portraying them in such an extremely negative light.
+1 for 300. All around shitty movie.
“300” started a bad trend of additional Snyder cryptofascist slop that reverberated throughout western culture for a while. Shit sucks.
Sausage Party. I felt insulted after finishing the movie. I don’t care if Seth Rogen is otherwise a swell guy—if I ever meet him in real life, I want him to apologize for being involved in that movie.
I’ve watched some movies I consider monstrous, jet-black, and mean-spirited, but Sausage Party feels like it was made by a committee just to fuck with me personally.
Sausage Party is a 2016 movie with racism that feels like it’s from 2000, and an approach to adult themes that I find both infantile and disturbing.
I can forgive some horniness if it’s done right and fits the movie. I can’t forgive racism.
Sausage Party is racist, horny trash. 0/10.
Personally, it’s the worst movie I’ve ever watched in my life.
And it got a sequel
Sausage SHARTy
My friend turned to me after we watched that and said, “was that the most reddit movie ever made?”
The horniness was whatever. Bill fucking Hader as “Chief Firewater” pissed me off to no end.
The Made in Abyss movie, which I forced myself to watch for the sake of the review I posted in c/anime (obvious CW for gross and pedo shit, but I avoid explicit details and hide the worst under a spoiler with another warning) last year. It’s completely and utterly empty, vile trash that’s both nonsensical and repulsive with no real plot or character development other than that the characters keep moving forwards past the hard point of no return in the very end. It is well and truly gratuitous, serving absolutely no purpose other than indulging the author’s sick fetishes in a quasi-legitimate form.
Thank God someone else mentioned the gross pedoisms of made in abyss. I musta been in the wrong spaces taking about it cuz i was all ‘how do you guys not see this problem’
I felt like I was losing my mind when I actually watched the first episode of that anime after it was suggested everywhere - the pedo stuff is extremely obvious from the start and it was always played off as something funny or whimsical. I think that was the last time I gave watching anime a chance and just started reading manga from artists I like.
the last time I gave watching anime a chance
Oh no!
My weeb inside is urging me to send non-perv recommendations but i respect that you’re done. What are you reading rn? I also love manga
Chainsaw Man, I also enjoyed Fire Punch. I was reading Trail of Blood by Oshimi Shuzo, but it finally ended and I’ve read pretty much all of his other stuff too - Welcome Back, Alice ended kinda quick, but maybe for good reason.
Other than those two artists, I haven’t found others I enjoy yet. I’m reading through Yotsuba in Japanese and, though it can be funny, it’s mostly for reading practice.
The Chainsaw Man anime is pretty great. I was pleasantly surprised by it. The main character is a horny teenager (often played for laughs), but in a way that isn’t gratuitous like most anime, is relevant to the plot, and it’s clear the adults around him are fucking awful for taking advantage of him.
Made in Abyss is “Yo what the fuck” territory. Something else I haven’t seen mentioned here is the writer’s shit fetish. Like literal shit. There’s way too many scenes about fictional characters’ poop.
Made in Abyss is “Yo what the fuck” territory. Something else I haven’t seen mentioned here is the writer’s shit fetish. Like literal shit. There’s way too many scenes about fictional characters’ poop.
It’s every bodily fluid in general. Just an endless parade of things oozing and leaking out of every part of the characters, which gets even more excessive in the second season when they reach the frenworld ancap blob monster village and then gets worse and worse and worse. I have a strong stomach and high tolerance for just repulsive and horrible content, and I actually felt ill trying to slog through to the end so that I could definitively say that Made in Abyss is the worst thing ever made. Like as much as people joke about the idea of “psychic damage” I took actual psychic damage from it and was out of sorts for days.
Let me strongly recommend ZOM 100: Bucket List of the Dead. It’s a hopeful, class-conscious, pro-social zombie apocalypse story that starts from the satirical premise of a burnt out wage slave waking up to a zombie apocalypse, celebrating because he doesn’t have to go to work anymore, and setting out to do all the things he wanted to do because he was too busy working himself to death. And if you’re thinking “wait, that sounds kind of anti-social, silly as the concept is?” then it also agrees and is quick to hold up foils to him and show off his reckless hedonism and wish fulfillment as empty and reckless, pivoting to a balance that I can only sum as something like “even in the face of the apocalypse, people and their hopes and dreams are the most important thing and life should still be enjoyed, but responsibly and together.”
It’s a scathing rejection of nihilism and every misanthropic zombie trope, that’s also stylish as hell. The only half downside is that it does a lot of like overly enthusiastic regional Japanese cultural tourism stuff as filler in between the big plot beats, making much of it just a tour of different domestically famous locations which the characters soyface over and then get chased by zombies. Its anime adaptation is also amazingly stylish and vibrant with gorgeous cinematography and animation, and I would really recommend checking that out after getting through the manga if you like it (full disclosure: I have only seen the first 6 episodes of the anime and that was all very faithful to the tone, content, and themes of the manga; if it does something horrible or jumps the shark after that, I don’t know about it).
Ok yeah tail of blood whoo i just checked it out mannn its holding tension so well i gotta take a break after chapter 14 (barf). thanks for the recommendation shits hitting hard
The Made in Abyss movie
Me and my friends watched Borderlands a few days ago to make fun of it and I think it’s one of the biggest actually bad movies I’ve seen, ever. So many choices made were just bad, and made for not even an entertainingly bad experience, it was just bad, poorly written and established, poorly framed and shot it was wild.
As someone who played the games tho, their props, costumes and set design were dead on. It’s a crime they made a movie that bad with all the attention to detail focused on everything besides the script and casting.
Passengers really pissed me off, it takes some real skill to take such a good premise and turn it into whatever the fuck that movie was. Mario movie didn’t make me hate
as an actor, it was obvious slop. Passengers did because the premise baited me into watching slop when I was expecting existential horror.E: I would say it made me hate Lawrence as an actress too, but she actually expressed regret for starring in it at least.
when I was expecting existential horror
The existential horror is being awakened on a ship and essentially having a life sentence to living alone with an incel
tech guy.Also, they had Laurence Fishburne in it so I wanted them to end up Event Horizon-ing lol.
I rented that one from a DVD kiosk (lol) and someone wrote “broken disc” on it. The thing worked fine on my setup at home, so I returned it with a note: “DVD works, but the movie sucks”
An incel tech guy that voluntarily entered into debt slavery because the utopia (iirc?) he was living in wasn’t rewarding enough.🙄
I wish Pratt would fuck off. He’s part of a very right-wing church that is openly homophobic and transphobic. Any time it comes up, he tries to skirt around it with “Oh golly gee shucks I don’t know I just go there because it’s the local church everyone goes to.”
I shouldn’t be surprised given Marvel’s main executive guy was a right-wing chud, so of course he gives the only chuds he can find movie roles (not sure if that guy is still there after the merger with Disney).
I watched that Troll ‘Nilbog backwards’ movie because it’s on meme lists of worst movies but idk it was fine compared to the aggressively amd expensively mediocre shit like Alien Romulus
Troll 2 lol
Troll 2 is fucking priceless how dare you. I highly recommend watching “best worst movie” made by the (now grown) child lead of “Troll 2”
The director didn’t even speak English and the movie was written by his wife who was mad that some of her friends had gone vegetarian. Yes. It just gets wackier from there.
“You see that? That’s hospitality!! You don’t piss on hospitality!!”
The first Troll movie featured a character named Harry Potter who had a witch and wizard for parents who were killed by an evil magician while he miraculously survived to learn magic himself.
Original character do not steal.
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I want to say Deadpool vs Wolverine but I only watched like 45 minutes of it. But afterwards I felt whatever is the psychological equivalent of stuffing yourself with 5 cheeseburgers in a row. I mean I felt gross and sad and kind of like I’d somehow been cheated
Your cheeseburger analogy cracked me up cuz i feel similar. Deadpool and wolvie was enjoyable to me as I’ve never watched a film so overtly and joyously tell my brain to shut off. At nearly no point in the film did things make sense outside the moment in which they were happening. My brain, usually so busy cataloging plot holes and such was so quickly and thoroughly overwhelmed that i actually was able to enjoy the stupidity. Afterwards i felt ‘full’ but definitely not ‘nourished’
This is kinda how I felt about Rise of Skywalker
Fantastic Beasts 3, Secrets of Dumbledore
If you liked Harry Potter before JKR decided to be fucking insane, and enjoy making fun of bad movies, you have to watch this monstrosity. It’s nonsense, the plot is insane, the writing is awful, the effects are bad, the filmmaking is bad, everything about it is awful.
And all of that for the core plot of “Our heroes have to get the magic deer to the Wizard election to ensure Grindelwald doesn’t prevent the Holocaust”
I want to be so clear that I am not exaggerating when I say they ensure the Holocaust isn’t prevented. In the second movie the bad guy shows visions of WW2 and the Holocaust and says “Follow me to prevent these horrors!”
The movie’s plot basically is the liberal dream: Hitler rigs an election but then is proved to have cheated so he gets a little mad but then drops out of the election anyway so the pure hearted liberal can be chosen by the voting machine
It’s such a baffling, ridiculous franchise after the first movie. I hate Rowling but I legitimately want them to continue, these were supposed to be a 5 movie series and I want to see how absurd it can get
And in this analogy Hitler is, again, the man who had visions of the Holocaust and nuclear bombs and is trying to prevent WW2
I want to be so clear that I am not exaggerating when I say they ensure the Holocaust isn’t prevented-
Wow. I am seriously glad you wrote this because i still had to read it twice to be sure. Wow.
The last one I can recall genuinely hating most of the way through was Rebuild of Evangelion 4, the plot felt completely incoherent and most of the characters just thrown about randomly with no care given except for genuinely exploitative scenes, with an ending that feels literally only made to be applicable to Anno himself.
i was just about to post this! Back in my day, some of us got together on the hextube and watched the Reshill of Evangelion movies after the originals
number 4 was easily the worst
incoherent rancid copefest of pure ideology, utter fucking nonsense bastardization of the original, prime example of how neoliberal austerity fucks up culture and destroyed the collective ability to imagine a better future, a spectacular cinematic fuckup overall, festering shit in the trashcan of ideology
I never saw #4, considering how rock-stupid #3’s script was. And if it managed to be even dumber than that? That’s an accomplishment.
Eternally young teenagers get sent off to arranged relationships or put in gay limbo forever, but only after getting shown off to the audience in blatant sexualized “battle damaged” rubber suits for fanservice, before the main character just makes it so nothing bad ever happened in the timeline and goes off to marry the self insert of the real directors wife who’s character didn’t do a single thing in the whole series of movies except battle scenes and fanservice.
yh absolute fucking garbage, kicker is that one of those habsburg (yep, that bunch of evil bastards who made europe suffer for centuries) motherfuckers was praising it as high art on twitter when it came out
Eternally young teenagers get sent off to arranged relationships or put in gay limbo forever, but only after getting shown off to the audience in blatant sexualized “battle damaged” rubber suits for fanservice
great combination of the neoliberal fetishization of youth combined with literal arranged marriages and the closeting of gays lol
yh absolute fucking garbage, kicker is that one of those habsburg (yep, that bunch of evil bastards who made europe suffer for centuries) motherfuckers was praising it as high art on twitter when it came out
And this is why the Romanov solution needs to be employed more often. It’s maybe a little harsh in the moment, but there’s no other way to make sure.
There’s interesting bad, fun bad, boring bad, and like… politically bad.
Depends on what you’re in the mood for.
Aquaman 2. It’s like trying to redo to marvel formula from first principles, but its just so much worse in every way. Its the most boring cringe movie ive ever watched.
Idk if watching smth by way of mst3k counts but Monster A Go-Go (1965) has literally no resolution to its plot, the titular monster has like three mins of screentime before vanishing without a trace right before it gets caught (the episode itself is a personal fave of mine though)
MST3K had that one that had a very long title like “the attack of the guys that died and became mixed up monsters” and between that and “the Wild World of Batwoman” those are probably even worse than Monster A Go-Go. The latter was just a bunch of
framed women sitting around doing fucking nothing.
Probably not objectively the worst movie I’ve seen, but Enemy at the Gates has been taken so literally by so many historically illiterate people that I’ve grown a burning hatred for the movie for basically slandering the entire Red Army and a few real people who were characters in the story. Kay and Skittles has a really good video on just how bad it is even beyond the “every other person gets a rifle” and “barrier troops gunning down retreating soldiers” shit.
I don’t think it’s technically the worst film I’ve ever seen, nor even the film I enjoyed watching the least, but I would like to mention the local film The Monkey and The Mouth (NO: Adjø Montebello, lit. “Adieu, Montebello”).
I don’t know the extent to which I didn’t enjoy that film because it was “bad” versus because I was just being forced to watch it, because The Monkey and The Mouth is in a number of ways creative and unique, and tries to tackle multiple important issues, and it shows promise for what local films can be… But I just didn’t enjoy it. At the time, in fact, this was when I was a teenager, I described the film as something to the effect of “a bunch of pretentious drivel whose sole purpose was to serve as a tax write-off and a justification for the film crew to take a probably state-funded vacation in the Bahamas”. Nowadays I might call a film like The Monkey and The Mouth “awardmat”, i.e. it’s a “film festival” movie, you know the kind, the kind where its tackling of societal issues just feels kind of shallow, like the film is more focused on the appearance of having a message than actually being meaningful. But it’s been many years since I saw this film, I don’t remember it too well, maybe if I rewatched it I’d have more positive things to say.
I did and still do like Karpe’s music and their music videos, but I guess it just didn’t work for me when stretched out to 100 minutes.
