TL;DR - Lemmy’s userbase compare to Reddit just feel more angry and it so offputting when asking a question and getting an answer that sound like their pissed off. Feels oddly worse than Reddit.
Honestly, I want to like Lemmy as I want to try not use Reddit as much. The thing that is holding me back is I hate the users on Lemmy which their often passive aggressive and really snarky. I know Reddit does have those people but I always seen more them on Lemmy where I barely used it as much.
I asked on AskLemmy community if there’s any Gen-Z community around, ideally just talking about nostalgia and stuff like that. Nothing malicious at all. Then got a angry reply saying “Fuck Gen-what, just join community and post!” and telling me about generation are there to “divide” people. Apparently, me asking community which mainly be me talking about cartoon and games I grow up with is evil.
If the tone was at least “This may not matter as much and you find it better picking any community that in your best interest” then I’m be alright, it the way they seem pissed at me for even asking it like I’m an idiot which gets to me. When I told that person to calm down and stop being snarky, I got reply from other users saying they wasn’t.
Might stick to Reddit for now. I know it not great but it in my experince isn’t as easily pissed off and is actually bareable to scroll for awhile. I hate talking bad about Lemmy as I really want to like it but I just hate the userbase so much that it feels pointless to even properly use it as much.
I’m too new to be making these kinds of suggestions and I’m far from the moderator type myself but multiple times throughout this week, I’ve been thinking that it would be pretty cool if there was an AskBlåhaj. Or even just general Ask Lemmy based here, that could be asking for unwanted attention from shitty people on other instances though.
Not even 24 hours after seeing this post, I’ve seen someone else getting the snark and a non answer for a simple question. And also a Blåhaj user.
As much of a public bathroom as it could be, AskReddit was pretty fun for ‘silly’ questions and general chatting. And a nice place for new users to hang around and gain karma and confidence. But with the gatekeeper neckbeardy types around, maybe what it needs on Lemmy is to be in an instance with rules that promote friendliness and good vibes.
Just an idea to throw out there anyway.
, I’ve been thinking that it would be pretty cool if there was an AskBlåhaj. Or even just general Ask Lemmy based here, that could be asking for unwanted attention from shitty people on other instances though.
Probably something you can suggest on !main@lemmy.blahaj.zone
I’ll ask it there (or here) a bit later then, if you think it seems like a good idea. Currently about halfway through a j and a cup of coffee, just scrolling and throwing 2 cents in here and there.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this kind of behaviour, you deserved better than that interaction.
Personally, I have met a lot of hostile users from sjw and lemmyworld. So I’m going to do what Beehaw did and block out their instances completely. Besides the smaller instances need more love, the fediverse works best when it is decentralized.
Keep this in mind and stay. We need and want you here.
Lemmy is full of echo chambers. People afraid to have a conversation with people with other opinions. A simple word will trigger them, its like you can all be wrong together.
I asked a vegan what the word “carnist” was and got banned, lol. You’re right, there’s a lot of angry folk on here…and it’s hilarious
Bad example removed
There are some communities which expect people to lurk and learn the terminology before asking questions. Asking what carnist is on a vegan community can be considered as sealioning.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealioning
To show an example of of what vegans face, !carnivore@lemmy.world got locked as it was a community which was willing to dunk on vegans, which is against LW terms of service.
https://lemmy.world/post/24429479?scrollToComments=true
(For people actually interested in carnivore diet, !carnivore@lemm.ee is a better community)
The fact that you find it hilarious shows you were not being there in good faith.
I’ve seen multiple posts on vegan communities about how they’ve been going onto some random carnivore communities for no other reason than to stir shit and get banned. So most of those arguments have lost all credibility to me personally; being angry and rude to people who ask honest questions makes you the asshole, full stop. You can never assume everyone knows all the exact things you do, and banning them from the community for not knowing them, while it is a choice you can make, is going to make your community look terrible.
… Yes? Yes you would and you would get an answer…
Okay, I’ll rephrase and find a better example
Edit: done
It’s people like you who ruin it for people like OP
I assume this is a link to something in posted before? You have linked it wrong if so
Curious, the link works on my side, are you using a specific client?
Anyway
I take back what I said.
But still doesn’t work, I use the mobile app connect
No worries.
Hm, curious, I guesz this of links aren’t handled by Connect.
Anyway, have a good day!
Lemmy really needs to focus on improving the default UI, and making it as easy as possible for users to sign in and start seeing posts etc.
Especially on mobile, it was a nightmare for me to figure out which app, which instance etc. most people would have given up by then.
People are used to having a very smooth process when using social media etc. and Lemmy is really lacking in that department.
My experience getting started here was a rollercoaster for sure. I think that one thing that would improve the experience immensely is if there were a way to have one profile no matter which instance you sign up on. I’m on my 3rd instance right now and the first 2 were both within my first 2 days of trying this place out.
It’s like if you want one permanent profile, you have to first research the politics of an instance, and its politics with other instances, and hang around long enough to check out the users and see if your first impression was true etc. etc. And just kiss your old profile and history good bye if the politics change and you need to move homes.
That would be great yes
I think a good start is to just join lemm.ee or even lemmy.world
And then figure out if you really want to switch or not.
Yeah it seems obvious to me now to choose the busiest server first but when I first came here, the join page was taking forever to load anything lol. So at that point the obvious (to me) choice was the small server advertised as for reducing load.
Here’s the message I usually post on Reddit when people are looking for an alternative. What do you think?
"Lemmy has 42k monthly active users
- https://discuss.online/ if you want a server located in the USA (content is still accessible from any server, the most difference latency)
- https://sopuli.xyz/ if you want a server located in the EU
- https://vger.app/ if you want an app
Feel free if you have any questions"
That’s great thank, I’m going to steal this.
You’re welcome!
Yeah I use connect, probably could be better apps but I don’t mind this one
Obviously I’m generalising here, but I feel like this is largely the outcome of putting a bunch of middle-aged white STEM bros on the same small social media network as a bunch of queer communists who trend a lot younger.
The latter group would be mostly content keeping to itself (albeit with the usual amount of infighting), but the former group sees it as its god-given duty to barge in and disrupt any and all “echo chambers” they happen into online. They have all the social awareness and political literacy of the stereotypical facebook boomer, they’re just more technically literate.
To be clear, a lot of folks here are perfectly amicable, but if the quality of the experience on Reddit hadn’t dropped so drastically in the last two and a half years that I found myself questioning my sanity I probably wouldn’t have come back here.
My advice is don’t hesitate to block someone for being a dick, and be ready to report anything you think is actionable by community moderators or site admins.
Be nice if most of Lemmy had mods and admins who removed hate speech
Yeah, I guess it would.
It’s absolutely been worse here lately. I don’t know that I’d call it worse than reddit, but Lemmy is definitely trending more toxic. I’m certainly not a heavy user by any means. Idk if the more reasonable voices have just become less active or if more toxic voices have arrived or what, but where as 6+ months ago things tended to be more discussion prone than antagonistic, it’s now mostly antagonistic, especially in the more popular communities.
I will say, I’ve left many of the lemmy.ml communities in favor of similar communities on other servers and that’s helped as far as making my feed of posts less toxic to boot (and less spammy).
I haven’t done much of my own moderation in blocking so I’m running mostly based on the server moderation.
American election season with a userbase opinionated enough to leave Reddit on principle, as the world burns and the holders of the most important positions in it decided to start fiddling.
And then a fascist party won.
It’s going to get spicy everywhere.
I don’t agree its as bad or worse than Reddit which is packaged fury everywhere. However, the last few months tempers have certainly risen and bad-faith takes and antagonism are more visible in some communities. There seems to be a lot more right-wing people, or centerist apologists at least, than there were before the US election results and I think those results might play a part - emboldening some to speak up and causing so much stress in others that they lash out where they wouldn’t have before.
Just make liberal use of the blocking options and take your time to find your people.
I will say, lately lemmy has been in uncharacteristically confrontational. It’s been a rough year so far, hopefully things chill out
US elections didn’t help
Agreed. I’ve followed less and less of all content since probably mid October.
Americans are mad, everyone else is mad at us for what happened. I don’t fault anyone for being mad, but I feel we’ve only got like a dozen Trump people on Lemmy, so everyone’s just taking it out on each other.
We’re gonna be screwed for a long time if we can’t stop infighting.
Speaking of which, I was in a discussion about that yesterday:
I specifically avoid .ml and .world because the collective behavior (i.e., hostility, downvote trolling, etc.) is so much like Reddit.
Beehaw, Hexbear and Blahaj have all disabled downvotes, but Blahaj is the only one that’s decent, which is why I’m here.
(I would link directly to these if I could, but am having issues with that.)
For what it’s worth, Discuit is also a generally friendly place.
For what it’s worth, Discuit is also a generally friendly place.
Less than 200 weekly active users. Beehaw’s Local feed is around the same, and still allow to access other Lemmy communities
I gotta check out Beehaw sometime. They’re part of the friendlier bloc of instances and they have rubber stamped Lemmy.ca the seal of approval.
Look, I really appreciate your numerous posts and comments in the RedditAlternatives subreddit, promoting Lemmy.
As for me, it’s Discuit and local Lemmy feeds because I prefer that village vibe.
Ive found myself actually reading a ton of threads from hexbear, and ive found them to be some of the most civil and welcoming lemmy users PROVIDED they dont think that youre arguing in bad faith. They can be quick to dismiss anyone who seems like a bad actor, and i think thats totally fair, because its rude as hell to go into someones safe space and start acting like you know better or being dismissive of their beliefs. Especially when you dont actually want a well reasoned answer, you just want to stir shit. Hexbear users are great, opinionated people. Lemmy.world users (and mods especially) seem to be terrible, opinionated people. Hexbear totally doesnt deserve the bad rap they get imo, and their trans community is awesome.
because its rude as hell to go into someones safe space and start acting like you know better or being dismissive of their beliefs. Especially when you dont actually want a well reasoned answer, you just want to stir shit.
You’re running on a lot of assumptions.
I made a comment that had nothing to do with any of that. It received quite a few upvotes (10+), then someone misread it and accused me of antisemitic dog whistling, which was not the case. In other words, they were stirring up shit and making a bad-faith argument.
So I clarified my position, then other users piled on, the mod(s) deleted my comments, and I left.
And the user who made that accusation had made what could be perceived as an anti-Italian remark in a comment a few days before. My paternal grandparents were Italian. Needless to say, I was a bit upset that this person didn’t follow the very strict standards that they held me to.
(By the way, Blahaj is also an LGBTQ+ safe space. The difference is, they’re not assholes.)
Feel free to check my post history.
In the meantime, I’ll leave you with some recommended reading, here and here.
My experience with hexbear was similar to my experiences with 8chan in that it was full of unreasonably hostile people with poor education and social skills.
Im not assuming anything, im sharing my experience with theeads that ive read and commented in. You can share your experience too, im not going to invalidate it, but it might be helpful if rather than just alluding to some comment that got deleted, you posted what the actual content was. Also a comment getting deleted is a pretty tame response to something thats generating controversy, regardless of what that content was. I notice you didnt mention being banned.
Regardless people can make up their own mind. Hexbears threads are all there out in the open. Im just saying i vastly prefer the majority of discourse and conversation that ive seen over there than i do most .world threads, which end up being incredibly hostile, childish, and ignorant, in my experience. I have no complaints about blahaj users at all.
but it might be helpful if rather than just alluding to some comment that got deleted, you posted what the actual content was.
I can’t recall the exact wording of my comment, but the gist of it was that three celebrities were protesting an attempt to bar Israel from a music contest because of the ongoing genocide. I pointed out that the three celebrities were Jewish, so it was kind of cynical for them to do that. Those who upvoted understood what I meant, but then someone else accused me of antisemitism – because I didn’t specifically identify them as “Zionist”.
How am I supposed to know whether they’re Zionist?. As far as I know, they’ve never publicly identified themselves as such, and it could be perceived as offensive if I did.
I notice you didnt mention being banned.
No, I wasn’t. Hopefully you’ve read the two items I had posted before, which pretty much validated how I felt about what I’d experienced, and why I left.
Listen, if you like Hexbear, fine; that’s your business. I don’t.
most .world threads, which end up being incredibly hostile, childish, and ignorant
Agreed, and that’s why I also avoid them (and Beehaw, Hexbear and .ml).
I totally understand that. A lot of people here are arseholes.
I think my experience has gotten much better now that I have a long blocklist and am on an instance with downvotes disabled. But yeah it doesn’t feel super friendly all the time here.
But I feel the same way on reddit.
Yep yep yep, it’s very confrontational and getting worse by the day
Sorry to hear.
I saw your post yesterday, I knew it was going to get negative reactions.
Maybe you can try more positive communities like !casualconversation@lemm.ee ?
There is a selection of communities here: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/20504960?scrollToComments=true
If that may help, someone told me I was an “energy vampire” today, so it seems like everyone will get a not so nice interaction every once in a while. I hope you’ll stick around, but it not, all the best!
Well dang it! Here I thought me being tired all the time was just me being old as fuck!
You stop sucking me off, Colin!
😂
Colin Robinson is the best character on WWDITS so that’s a compliment really
It started with “they’re basically an energy vampire that just drags down the vibe of Lemmy with constant but what about or I don’t fully agree replies” so I’m sure it’s not supposed to be as flattering as a comparison to Colin Robinson
I think that your desire for a place where you can discuss the experiences unique to your generation is totally reasonable, and I’m sorry you’ve gotten backlash for asking how you can have the same thing others are enjoying. To me, there’s obvious value in a Gen-Z community. Later generations too eventually.
My friends and life were already firmly established during the covid lockdown and I imagine that the younger you were the more impactful that period and the time after it must have been. I’d love to watch younger people talk about that time of their lives if only so I can learn more, and it’s obvious I could learn other things I’m not even aware of yet from younger people’s conversations.
I for one hope you stay, and even if you don’t feel up to starting a new community I hope you get what you’re looking for. There’s nothing wrong with posting to a slow or dead community and just thinking of it like a small forum every once in a while. You’re definitely not the only Gen-Z on here, and if you post someone else might feel more comfortable posting too!
Thanks, it generally means a lot! I just thought Lemmy is more welcoming instead of whatever is not in majority of the users’ interests is bad and malicious.
