• cobysev@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I always felt I was “smarter than the average bear” (I think I just dated myself), but I had no solid evidence growing up, besides my mother insisting that I was very smart for my age. I almost skipped 2 grades in elementary school because I was reading adult books before I even started school, and I could write just as well. But my math knowledge was just average, so they didn’t want me to get behind if I missed a couple grades.

    Despite this, I was a solidly C+/B- student for most of my schooling. I aced the tests placed in front of me, but I hated homework, so I just didn’t do it most of the time. I understood the material the first time it was presented to me; I didn’t understand why I needed to continually go over it in my free time. It felt like a waste of time. Plus, I had a hard time learning from the teachers. I did much better if I just read the textbook on my own, rather than sitting through a lecture.

    In high school, I was failing a few classes. My mother thought I considered myself stupid and was afraid it was wrecking my confidence. Apparently, when she was a kid, she also thought she was stupid. She was failing a bunch of classes, while her eldest sister was getting straight-A’s. She got her IQ tested and found out she was actually the smartest of all her siblings - her eldest sister actually had the lowest IQ in their family!

    So my mother made it her personal mission to prove I was smart. After all, you’re supposed to inherit your intellect from your mother, and my mom had a genius IQ. She hired a psychologist to give me an official IQ test, and to no one’s surprise, I tested in the genius range too. So I finally received validation that I was smart.

    It didn’t fix my grades, though. It turns out, I was getting poor grades because A.) I refused to do homework, which lost me half my grade points alone, and B.) I was bored in class and didn’t really pay attention. I would find out 20 years later that I have ADHD, which is why I couldn’t pay attention in class. I have very poor auditory learning skills; when people talk to me, my brain shuts off. So lectures were the absolute death of me.

    I joined the US Air Force right after high school, and unfortunately, the military requires you to blindly obey orders and not think too hard about things. Everything is dumbed down so the mission can be accomplished, even in the most stressful of scenarios. The Air Force has the strictest tests to qualify for service, and we tend to have the highest intelligent people in the armed services, but it was still a drag. I spent too many years trying to argue logic and reason with my superiors and coworkers, which fell on deaf ears. So I eventually got complacent and started doing the bare minimum to accomplish the mission and get through my days. By the end of my 2 decades of service, I feel like my brain has been through the blender and I feel much dumber than I used to be. Could also be some added PTSD, too.

    Now I’m retired at a young age and living a quiet, relaxing life out in the countryside. I’m not too concerned anymore about being smart or dumb, just as long as I can live in peace.

    • oatscoop
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      1 year ago

      Are you trying to make you home servers accessible to the wider public, or just accessible to yourself/family/friends?

      If it’s the later, running a wireguard VPN server on a publically accessible, cheap VPS with your home servers and connecting devices as “clients” works well. I’m in a similar situation as you and did so to access my home automation and media servers from “the outside”.