I think that the best way to be a better friend is a little bit at a time. Don’t try to turn yourself around completely all at once, but rather make little changes, tiny changes.
Like say you’re always 10 minutes late. Maybe try being only 8 minutes late next time. That’s what I mean by tiny changes.
Take whatever bad friend behaviors you’re aware of and whittle them down slowly. And also build the good stuff, slowly.
One little change is maybe next time you see some tight friends who are best friend with one another, take note of one specific thing one of them is doing that’s different from how you do it.
You don’t need to adopt that behavior today. You don’t need to understand it. That one day’s task is just to take note. Then another day you take 15 seconds and imagine yourself doing it. Then another day you try it out. Maybe it’s something tiny. Maybe you notice they turn toward their friend when they arrive.
I’m not being very coherent. By being a better friend, you can become people’s best friend. People are limited in how many best friends they can have, so they want to pick good friends as their best friends. So your path to being a best friend is to be a slightly better friend, then repeat that 1,000 times.
It could be as simple as when you go to sleep at night, you just say to yourself “How could I be a better friend?”
One thing to keep in mind though, is that there’s a trap of thinking being a better friend means giving more stuff, giving more attention, giving more energy. That’s not a good move. A good friend isn’t obsessed with you, doesn’t worship you, isn’t your henchman. A good friend is an enhancement to your life. A good friend might stop you from having hot sex, because the person’s in a relationship and they don’t want you embroiled in that drama.
Good friend isn’t a sycophant. A good friend is balanced and fair.
Maybe you could start asking people in real life: Who’s your best friend? Why? What do you think makes a good friend?
It’s a good thing to do. You’re doing a good thing.
I think that the best way to be a better friend is a little bit at a time. Don’t try to turn yourself around completely all at once, but rather make little changes, tiny changes.
Like say you’re always 10 minutes late. Maybe try being only 8 minutes late next time. That’s what I mean by tiny changes.
Take whatever bad friend behaviors you’re aware of and whittle them down slowly. And also build the good stuff, slowly.
One little change is maybe next time you see some tight friends who are best friend with one another, take note of one specific thing one of them is doing that’s different from how you do it.
You don’t need to adopt that behavior today. You don’t need to understand it. That one day’s task is just to take note. Then another day you take 15 seconds and imagine yourself doing it. Then another day you try it out. Maybe it’s something tiny. Maybe you notice they turn toward their friend when they arrive.
I’m not being very coherent. By being a better friend, you can become people’s best friend. People are limited in how many best friends they can have, so they want to pick good friends as their best friends. So your path to being a best friend is to be a slightly better friend, then repeat that 1,000 times.
It could be as simple as when you go to sleep at night, you just say to yourself “How could I be a better friend?”
One thing to keep in mind though, is that there’s a trap of thinking being a better friend means giving more stuff, giving more attention, giving more energy. That’s not a good move. A good friend isn’t obsessed with you, doesn’t worship you, isn’t your henchman. A good friend is an enhancement to your life. A good friend might stop you from having hot sex, because the person’s in a relationship and they don’t want you embroiled in that drama.
Good friend isn’t a sycophant. A good friend is balanced and fair.
Maybe you could start asking people in real life: Who’s your best friend? Why? What do you think makes a good friend?
It’s a good thing to do. You’re doing a good thing.
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