Hey Folks!
I’ve been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here’s a 20, keep this change.
Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there’s a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don’t know how much has changed in this regard.
The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.
So will AITA if I don’t tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?
I only tip if someone had to do something to get me that food/experience. Picking up food to take home? No tip. The restaurant makes you get your own food from the counter and do your own refills? No tip. The checkout screen might have a tip, but I’m putting 0.
It’s not really your personal responsibility, it’s the restaurant owners responsibility. If people aren’t getting enough tips in a restaurant where tips are the big draw, and that causes wait staff to quit, the restaurant owner should be paying his people to subsidize that.
15-20% also is not a hard rule. There’s a lot of places where I live that try to pass off costlier food in shitty atmosphere (think 30 dollar entrees, but the server sees you twice and it’s a “theme” restaurant). If I think someone did well and engaged with us as customers and were pretty good about making suggestions on the menu or being extra attentive to drink refills, then guaranteed they’re getting within that 15-20%. Anything less than that, then I as the customer who only gets to make that judgement call off of the limited interaction we have, and you’ll get 7-10% or 5 bucks, whichever is bigger.
You need to tip places where you sit down to eat with waiters, yes. ~20% of the subtotal before tax. Don’t be intimidated by those little tablets asking for a tip for places where there is no table service, there is usually a no tip button. Just relax and don’t hit a button right away. They make it a little smaller.
No
Ribbits
That’s not how that works. If you increase minimum wage you increase living costs
While I agree with the premise that minimum wage increases raise living costs… If the tips are already increases wages, I fail to see how tipped low wages are not effectively the same as untipped higher wages.
Tips don’t go though the corporate finances usually
What does that have to do with anything? Minimum wage increases tends to lead to people having more disposable income… which leads to companies and the like charging more for services because the market can now bare it.
What does corporate finances have to do with a person making their low wages + tips vs just an up front higher wage to get to a higher minimum wage?
Because raising minimum wage causes inflation because companies have more overhead
Ribbits
Yes. You are actually the asshole if you don’t tip.
It depends.
If you go to a restaurant where your food is brought to you are probably going to be expected to tip.
But, if it’s a Fast Food restaurant like McDonald’s or someplace you stand in line and get your plate like Chipotle or a buffet you’re not going to be expected to tip.This is a very good rule of thumb.
Important to note that the credit card machines pretty much everywhere will still ask you if you want to tip now, to the point where I’ve seen jokes about lifeguards and ambulance drivers pulling out an iPad with tipping options, I think the processors are hoping psychology will make them a little bit more cash. Either way, it is not an asshole move if you don’t tip at Subway. IMO it makes it more likely at some point that an employer tries to lower their hourly wages to the hourly + tips you see elsewhere.
I’m from Australia, where we don’t tip; and yes; you have to in America. It’s likely that the person serving you needs tips to survive, so think of it as money for them directly. (even tho in most cases I don’t think they get 100%?) I make a point of not tipping at home because people should get paid a living wage without having to rely on tips. I say you’d be the asshole because customer service employees in USA need that extra money to make ends meet.
But isn’t the the employer who is the asshole for not paying a living wage?
Yes, but that’s just the unfortunate reality
When in Rome…
Yes in the service industry where you will be served you very much likely would be expected to tip. So places may make this more obvious then others with a tip bracket on the receipt or signs somewhere.
Its also important to note most places in the US expect a 15% tip of what you spent but in some higher dense areas where the CoL is out of control it’s 20%
Do waiters actually get paid? Like an hourly wage? Or do they rely fully on the tips?
They typically get paid below the state’s minimum wage. :(
Servers are paid a sub-minimum wage, as tips are supposed to round out their wages. When I wanted tables my paycheck barely covered the taxes on my cash and credit card tips.
The federal minimum wage for tipped workers is $2.13/hr. Basically nothing. It wouldn’t cover your gas cost to go to work in most cases.
If their tips don’t pass the actual minimum wage, the employer is required to pay the difference up to the minimum.
Wtf. US at it’s peak. At my first job, when I was 14 y/o, I made more than that (€2.72) doing restocking at a supermarket.
It really is absurd.
Wtf. US at it’s peak. At my first job, when I was 14 y/o, I made more than that (€2.72) doing restocking at a supermarket.
Supermarket stockers are not tipped so a higher minimum wage applies, which is $7.25 right now. However, laborers are also in high demand so most places pay more than the minimum.
As far as I understand it, US servers prefer the current system as they make more money from tips. Personally, if you prefer this system I think you don’t have any right to complain or get upset if someone doesn’t tip.
In most HCOL areas there is a higher minimum wage even for tipped workers, so keep that in mind. In DC for example minimum wage for tipped workers is going up annually over the next 4 years to meet regular minimum wage, up to about $17/hr. I anticipate tipping percentages should go down as this phases in as there will no longer be a differentiation.
Seen this, love it lol
Took me to this one. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Kal1yAZExwQ
You will want to tip 15-25%wheb you are dining at a sit down restaurant. If you are at a counter service buisness or café, you should only tip of they went out of their way to make your experience amazing. If you will be staying at hotels, you should tip bellmen $3-$5 per bag, concierge 5-10% of what they have procured for you. Cab’s, Ubers, or any car service 10-20% (I usually do a minimum of $5 here.) if you get asked for a tip on any self-service screen, just deny it, that’s a cash grab for the business owner. You can offer a tip to any employee you want if they go out of their way for you, however outside the service industry, employers will direct the staff to politely refuse.
I’m fine with tipping in general, and usually leave a tip at restaurants, and sometimes at cafes if the waiter was especially good. But I find it absolutely crazy that there are places with an expectation of a tip up towards 20 %. Like, I’m used to seeing a slightly surprised smile on a waiters face if I leave 15 %.
I’ve seen comments that 20% is the new standard and you should tip 25% for exceptional service. These days between price creep and the tipping I just stay home; I can’t afford to go out anymore.
If you look like a tourist you will not have much of a problem. I also live in a country where tipping is never done and when I travel to the US I never tip as I don’t agree with that system and I’m not used to it. Nobody ever told me anything or complained
Of course no one said anything. That would be rude. But not tipping your server is very much an asshole move, foreign or not. Those service industry workers rely on the tips because their wages are basically nothing. I agree that they should be paid a fair wage but that’s just not how it works here in the US.
Yep. Just because people don’t say something doesn’t mean they don’t feel some type of way about it.
Employers not properly paying the servers is the real asshole move here.
Yes, but you’re not hurting the employer when you don’t tip, you’re hurting the server.
Actually, you are hurting the employer by hurting the server. Just not nearly as much.
Yes, The USA need to change. So you should deny and hate “tipping culture” and actively help getting rid of it but you should still tip the people because tips are part of their income.
Ouch, I think you are being oblivious to how your move is being received. I know it’s cultural and it can be complicated to understand when not used to a culture (I was born a European, and became a naturalized American), but in the US culture, that is a move only done by truly terrible people.
I’m not saying you’re a terrible person, clearly you’re not realizing how terrible this is in the culture. But I promise it really is. It would be similar in Europe to insulting the waiter, and then saying “but it’s fine in my country”. It might be true depending on where you’re from, but it doesn’t make it better because that’s not where you are.
Seriously ouch on this one…
Ever heard of the phrase “when in Rome do as the Romans do”?
I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if people came to your country and did things that were seen as incredibly rude but said “oh it’s ok, in my country it’s fine”
Nobody can force you to. People will probably consider you to be rude, but you do yours. I also live in a place where not tipping is customary (and in fact tipping considered to be rude) and refuse to embrace this system. I’m already annoyed by list prices excluding VAT. That’s like a borderline scam.
Yeah I guess I’ll have to see how comfortable I am in the situation. I feel like the stupid system will never change unless people just stop tipping.
And that’ll only hurt the poor employee’s efforts to pay rent this month. The employer could care less, and sure you may make them mad enough that you’re the last straw and they quit, but I’d be hard pressed to think you’re magnanimous for it.
Couldn’t care less.
As long as you know your supposed “goal” of “helping” isn’t accomplished and that server now hates you, and the owner you’re opposing got his share and doesn’t even know you exist, do what you wish I suppose.
Well then, please don’t visit.
The simple rule of thumb is: if you are in a full service sit down restaurant (waiter takes order and then brings you your food, tipping is expected, and not doing so is seen as a major dick move, because it directly stiffs the waitstaff. The only time you should not tip in this situation is if the service is absolutely horrible.
Any other situation, like ordering at a counter and then going to get your food, or any fast food, tipping may be offered as an ask on the kiosk, but it’s never expected (not in my opinion deserved.).
But simply: if you are waited on, too 20% and be done with it.
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I don’t see how the system would change unless people stop tipping, but as a foreigner I don’t see it as my responsibility to change their system.
We don’t have a VAT in the US, only sales tax. It’s not just a name difference, they’re different in how they’re applied
They’re not different to the consumer. Either way they’re a surcharge to the store price of the item, and most places in the world include it on the sticker.
I am aware. I was just correcting the one thing not disagreeing as a whole
Ok whatever it is, the price on display is not the final price, and I feel scammed.
Here, unfortunately, YTA if you don’t tip. I forgot once and had the server run after me to make sure something wasn’t wrong. Some service folks take it personally if you don’t tip, which makes sense given that their employers don’t pay them shit. So yeah, you the customer foot the bill for ensuring these people can make ends meet… as if giving the restaurant your custom wasn’t support enough.
The problem is that, like most other industries here in the US, the system is rigged against the working class. While not all restaurant owners intend to fuck over their staff (especially smaller, local places), it’s how it works. Now, some places will automatically add gratuity to your bill under certain conditions, so check your breakdown to ensure it’s not already included. This is becoming more common, which irritates me since I scale my tip based on the quality of the service rendered.
Also, we know it’s expensive here. Don’t bother coming here to complain about it, we do it enough ourselves. Tipping is here to stay for now and I don’t imagine it changing for quite some time.
Just to add onto this good answer, you are really only expected to tip for sit-down restaurants with service and bars.
For takeout, cafes, fast food, etc., you don’t need to tip. A lot of places these have payment machines that just ask if you want to tip by default. You can safely hit “No tip” on these if you don’t want to.
Ostensibly it’s just to replace the tip jar for those who don’t use cash, but the prompt appearing every time you pay by card has convinced a lot of people that tipping is what you’re supposed to do in those situations, when in reality you have no obligation to.
Damn now I feel dumb for tipping at vending machines.
My view is: I don’t like this cultural element, and I am glad that I live in a country without it. But if I am a visitor from abroad I would not resist the local culture and try to impose my own values. If I am aware of this cultural element and I dislike it, my options would be to either avoid restaurants and other tipping situations as much as I can, or simply account for the tip when making my financial decisions, and pay it.
If I live in the country then it is different, because then I am more entitled to be a driver of change. Personally, my approach would be to support businesses with explicit no-tipping policy, and to refuse receiving tips myself.
One of the best answers so far, thanks! I’m not a foreigner, but I’ve been gone for over half my life, so it certainly feels like it. Coming back it always a culture shock.
No one can force to tip and as Americans we hate the tipping culture too.
Sort of — there are definitely restaurants which include gratuity, either for all parties or for parties greater than X people (e.g., 5 or more).
Some people love it, namely the ones that have most to gain.
So business owners, and extremely attractive waitstaff
