Where are the dates?
Probably wondering why their date is taking a picture of the charcuterie board.
Woosh
Bro’s got a baseball bat and an image analyzer from a NOAA satellite, and all he had to do was buy a package of dates from the grocery and take a pic of one.
The straight whole coffee beans. 🤣
Ngl I’ve munched coffee beans before. There’s chocolate covered whole coffee beans, so why not eat them without the chocolate too?
Because without the chocolate, it’s like eating slightly burnt coffee flavoured sand. I eat them all the time because I have a fucking problem, but I don’t enjoy it.
Is there a name for this problem? I’m imagining you sitting with a bowl of beans looking miserable, shaking your head and muttering, “damn beans”
End stage caffeine addiction. A terrible illness
4th stage is where it’s at
Anemia, pica
Genetic fast metaboliser of caffeine. Need more caffeine to have an effect and more prone to addiction. I decided once to drink espresso until I got the shakes. I needed 12 shots.
Eating beans seems terribly inefficient though. Eating the 30g of beans in a cup of coffee or a shot of espresso for example would be quite the snack. Water extraction of caffeine is highly efficient so you aren’t leaving a lot behind from coffee / espresso either.
Have you tried Guarana pills or slow release caffeine pills? No data, but I’ve found Guarana to be a less jolty longer lasting than most forms of caffeine
To be clear, I’m eating them along side a quad espresso, not instead of it. Pretty sure guarana pils aren’t available where I live, and the only caffeine pills available are weak and expensive.
I think you can eat the seeds and it is apparently possible to home grow guauranna (I doubt that it’s particularly easy to grow though). Keep it away from pets.
I eat them all the time because I have a fucking problem, but I don’t enjoy it.
Aah, like salmiakki (salty licorice). Tastes terrible, but I just can’t stop eating them.
Wtf salmiakki tastes great you heathen
It tastes like death and I love it.
Salmiakki has nothing to do with liquorice. It’s ammonium chloride, just another example of Scandinavians using floor cleaner as a flavour enhancer.
It’s often used as the name for ammonium chloride on black licorice. The ammonium chloride also makes a great soldering iron tip cleaner!
Ok you’re correct, I just checked the ingredients list for ifa and it does in fact contain 2,5 %. Liquorice extract.
They’re alright actually
Condom lube on my cheese board doesn’t sound appetizing
It’s flavored
Its cheese flavored.
It is now.
Well in that case…
These ribbed condoms don’t taste anything like ribs!
All that and not a single date to be found in the photo. Has bro never been to a grocery store?
Add a gun and some bullets and call it the Hunter S. Thompson Special.
Wake up. First Chival Royale of the day.
Needs more grapefruit.
Yeah they got McDonald’s chicken nuggets. Like dude, go get some Wendy’s. You’ve got nose spice so I know you understand how to be classy - now get your shit together.
Found Wendy’s Lemmy account
Yeah for fucks sake nothing wrong with McNuggets.
Except the price
And the taste when compared to Wendy’s.
Wendy’s chicken nuggets are vile, too. Chicken tenders are the only thing good. And Wendy’s doesn’t serve them anymore. Neither does McDonald’s. So… KFC wins.
And the taste.
This charcuterie board fucks.
That’s a fucking party right there
WHERE are the motherfucking CHEESE BALLS?!
After enough coke everyone has cheese balls.
I can’t wait to put your Sweady balls in my mouth.
Frist of all, why are there condoms in the food second why are there 3 of them?
One for the shaft and one for each testicle
Duh … we all learned this in sex ed
Exactly. My balls secrete sperm like a maple tree. Don’t yours?
Do you regularly cut your balls then?
When they’re in season
Right after saying “I can do the sex good!”
The only question is, one at a time, or all at once?
That depends.
39 and under crowd - “Wanna go again?”
40 and over crowd - “I’m going to need at least that many breaks.”
To me this just looks like a typical day that started with the best of intentions.
Everything looks good here, perfect date. Wait, except… is that… unground coffee beans? What the fuck?
Espresso beans are delicious especially in dark chocolate.
I’d eat those, but the proximity to cocaine is a bit concerning.
You’d leave the cocaine on the board?
Mix it up. Call it the morning special.
I thought they were rasins, but not sure.
Three condoms? My, we’re young and frisky, aren’t we?
They are unwrapped and sitting pretty close to some meat and cheese. Feels like that’s just asking for disrupting vaginal health balance. Plus I’d be suspicious of holes poked in the condoms. Unwrapping them is such a weird thing to do.
Oh sweet, mcnuggets!
Which should pair well with the whiskey and coke. According to a friend.
Mythic rarity girl dinner
