You can start by using chat gpt’s voice chat. it’s a small step, but it can help you practice carrying conversations. speaking in public is very different from talking alone, but this could give you some direction.

if your speech feels like xqc’s, one reason might be overthinking how others see your face or gestures. building self-confidence can help—working out, for example, can make you feel better about how you look, which often translates to confidence in speaking.

another issue could be speaking too fast. try slowing down. you might worry about awkward pauses, but people enjoy listening. if you speak with authority and maintain your pace, others will adjust and give you time to express yourself.

lastly, if eye contact makes you nervous, don’t overthink it. a quick glance now and then is fine. it keeps you calm and focused without overwhelming you. over time, this can make speaking much less stressful.

Like anything, it’s practising doing it. Incidentally, this is one place using a chat bot might help you. These things are pretty good at carrying a conversation, and if you’re not comfortable talking to a person, it could be a good way to practice.

You’re dealing with both impediments and social issues here. This would be difficult for anyone. I highly suggest professional help, but if it’s not available or you are unwilling, the next best thing would be to understand you’re going to need to fail a lot with intentions of getting better, and it may never happen. I’m rooting for you.

Edit: To clarify, speech therapy and general therapy are what you will benefit from.

One really neat trick is to slow down and even pause words. This really helps me get my point across.

OP, I have the same problem and I recently made a ton of progress! Two things helped. First, I started humming almost all the time. I can’t carry a tune, and it feels pretty silly. I was very self conscious about it at first, but it has really helped so much with producing sounds. Before all the humming, I never really knew what my voice would sound/feel like before I started talking. But now, it’s like I always have that preview thanks to the humming.

The second thing that really helped is something I’m really lucky for. I live with a very supportive friend, and I told them that I would be making more noise and trying to talk to them more in general.

Oh, also apparently acid reflux was an issue too.

I still am not very good at knowing what to say, but at least producing the sounds has gotten so much easier

Just remember: practice is good, as long as you’re not straining/hurting yoyr voice!

As others have suggested, professional help would probably be the best way to go about it.

Otherwise, here are my suggestions as a non-professional:

• Record yourself and listen to yourself speak, maybe even naturally (maybe on the phone?). Listen for the mistakes you’re making so that you can focus on correcting them.
• Slow down between words and sentences.
• Plan out your sentences before you start them.
• Be okay with using filled pauses. You don’t need ums and uhs, but things like “Well…”. Even something like “Let me think about that for a moment” is okay in certain settings.
• Look up advice for professional speaking. Advice for live streamers can be great to apply to your situation.

I’ve struggled with putting my thoughts into words almost my whole life. Only in the last 2-3 years I started to actually get better (I’m 28 soon).

What could help is

• If you managed to find words for a thought write them down somewhere (I used phone notes for this)
• Not sure about this one, but maybe reading books out loud might help (doesn’t have to be with anyone present)

I did both of these occasionally, but I think what actually helped me here was LSD, which I don’t recommend unless you’ve properly researched the (side-) effects, are aware of all the risks and have trusted source to get it from.

I don’t know if anyone else has this problem but I have a really pacific issue.

The word you want here is “specific”. 👍

Learn new languages. Learn to code.

May not solve your problem, but will help.

Also, read books.

I’m Indigenous Canadian and I grew up in a semi remote community where my family only spoke our Ojibway/Cree language. That was my first language for about the first ten years of my life.

I went to school and learned English and could understand it from a young age but I never needed to speak it.

At 14 I had to go high school in a city where everyone spoke English and I didn’t. I could understand everyone but I had a hell of a hard time speaking or even to be heard. My brain knew what to say but my mouth parts were so out of practice that I couldn’t speak properly or be understood. The software was working 100% but the hardware didn’t cooperate.

I had a hard time speaking English all through my teen years. I didn’t get comfortable with it until about 20. Even after that I spent about another five / ten years before I got fully comfortable with the language. I’m almost 50 now and I can comfortably speak English now and I have no problem making myself heard. Sad part is that in all that time, I’ve lost some of my ability to speak my Indigenous language.

Basically it’s just practice and sticking with it. You won’t sound right or you won’t sound good for a few years but keep at it. Make mistakes, make yourself sound goofy or silly … who cares … keep practicing and eventually you’ll get better with it. It took me a long time because I just don’t like interacting with people. I saw others like me who were more extroverted pick up the language a lot faster and within a year or two just become as normal of a speaker as anyone else.

Practise … it’s like saying you want to learn to sing … you won’t be good at it at first so you have to practice and not be afraid to fail and fail often … keep at it and eventually you’ll be just as good at speaking as anyone else.

I talk like xQc

Just looked up this guy and this seems obvious, Twitch.tv is the inverse of literacy and coherence. Stop fucking gaming and watching streams.

If you legitimately speak like xQc, the first thing I’d tell you is to slow the hell down. That guy would probably get as much information out in the same amount of time, but easier to understand, if he just didn’t try speaking that fast. Last I heard it, even his québécois french was slurred.

As to finding the right words when speaking, it tends to come with knowing your subject well enough, and having decent vocabulary.

Past that, if you do struggle with the very act of translating ideas into the physical act of speaking, it could be a speech disorder which could likely benefit from speech therapy.

I got a job as a door to door salesman for a year and by the end of it I felt like talking in a way that was both fluid and engaging was my superpower. This is after having such crippling social anxiety that I would often run home and hide. It may be an impractical suggestion, but I would advise you find a structured way to practice where the goal isn’t just talking for its own sake.

Speech pathology for the stutter and the slip. You can find some free help online but be careful, trying to fix speech issues on your own can make things worse in some cases. If you can, seek professional input.

I’ve done toastmasters a long time a go, and it really benefits me till today.