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If y’all think Jesus is so good you should meet his hermanito lupe.
we enshrined his torture and put it literally everywhere. you think that might have anything to do with it?
It’s not like all humankind suffers and he is a relatable representation of our own suffering. Kind of like Iron Man or other heroes.
Look, if they did that to Jesus they will do the same or worse to you without batting an eye.
Well, Iron Man was crucified for our sins.
As was James T. Kirk.
Iron Man had the best last words of the three.
#Jesusdiditfirst
Well people said if he comes back he’s going to slaughter all of us, maybe making him afraid to come back is the point? Haha
Only those who don’t like Him
Nah, hes supposed to take all of the ones that followed him to heaven to, so everyone dies right?
The rapture is unbiblical anyway. None of this really comes from the actual text - it’s squinting and connecting random unconnected Bible verses.
We’re not talking about the rapture, we’re talking about the second coming.
The rapture is the unbiblical doctrine that all of the people who are saved will just disappear and the rest will be left behind.
Is The Rapture threatening us with a good time?
Also, I didn’t know the difference between the rapture and the second coming of Jesus so thanks for the info!
Well, Jesus also said the worst people are the people to make a big public show of being religious, and that when they get to judgement day he’s gonna be like “I never knew ye” because they were terrible and false.
I used to be in the same boat- I just thought the rapture was a synonym for the second coming. It’s rapture theology that’s unbiblical, but not the second coming itself.
We tortured Him first
I mean, he got better so it’s nbd right?
He forgives us if we come to Him :)
More like “what didn’t we do?”
Am I right?
Like 90% of what he told us to do, for starters.
Jesus: “Love one another.”
Everyone else: “We’re gonna kill that son of a bitch.”
That 10% is doing a lot of work here
A press conference with aliens? I don’t think so. They’ll be killed and get a very detailed autopsy as soon as they put their feet on the ground
Then I hope they have no feet! 🤪
Unless we were threatened with overwhelming power.
There’s a sci-fi book series called Hyperion where one of the main fucuses of the far-future theocratic government is to search for signs and symbolism of Jesus on other planets. Since if you find an alien species worshipping Jesus or using cross symbolism, you’ve all but proven that God exists.
You will prove that one god exists?
Or even less, you will prove that someone with god-like powers exists?
Or even less, you will prove tat we live in a simulation written by some christian sect.
Well, Jesus claimed to be God and the only God at that
To be exact, it was a few centuries later that people told that about him, before it was written down.
No, it was a matter of decades. And even then, most facts about historical figures from then are written down centuries later.
‘facts’
Or aliens copied 3rd century Rome.
Will be reading this if you think it’s worth it.
I’m a huge fan of classic sci-fi (Asimov, Heinlein). How does it hold up?
And before someone eats me alive about Heinlein, I’ve heard it all. Been a fan since I was a kid and the ideological side of it doesn’t matter to me as much as the stories these days. I’m an atheist because of authors like him. I wouldn’t take it back for anything.
The first book is phenomenal. The others are good, but not necessarily “must read”
It’s like The Canterbury Tales in space. It’s four books, but the first one stands on its own.
If you like old school scifi you’ll probably like it. It’s a grand opera. Prolog to the first book is online here:
Hyperion was a fun read. Definitely recommend. I had a small book club and it was fun to talk about.
“This is my blood” was actually a miscommunication, he meant that the cup he was holding was his and it was full of blood he didn’t want to share.
Jesus ain’t coming back until people stop wearing crosses around their neck, scaring him away.
Jesus is a vampire?
Zombie. Undead, eats flesh and blood, isn’t allergic to sunlight, infection spreads through contact. Zombie.
Inverse zombie. Living people eat his flesh.
To Francis from Left 4 Dead, there is no difference between a zombie and a vampire.
I think they mean because Jesus was supposedly murdered on a cross, and then his followers wear said cross as a symbol of their love for him or some shit - which is honestly kind of weird.
You think that’s weird? They drink his blood and eat his flesh too.
I wouldn’t come back either
I mean, He told us to
If Jesus were to show up on an alien planet would He be incarnate as an alien
Yes.
The question is, would he be alien to us or them.
Might also depend - were these aliens created also in God’s image? Do they have original sin?
I feel I’ve seen this exact joke in an SMBC or something several years ago
Even more similar than I remembered!
The joke has been around a while, so they probably have made the same joke.
That joke’s been around since 1750 BC
Tell Ea-nasir: Nanni sends the following message:
When Jesus came, Jesus said to you as follows : “I will return when the time is right.” Jesus left then but has not yet returned to you as promised. Now you look to my messenger (Sit-Sin) and ask: “Why, then, has Jesus not returned?”
What do you take me for, that Jesus would not return to me after visiting? Would you treat somebody like Jesus with such contempt? I have sent as messengers gentlemen like ourselves to invite Jesus to return several times, and that through enemy territory. Is there anyone among the merchants who trade with Telmun to whom Jesus has not returned?
You alone ask why this is so! Take cognizance that (from now on) Jesus shall exercise against you the right of rejection if you have treated him with contempt. How did you treat Jesus when he visited?
Translated from the original Akkadian: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/complaint-tablet-to-ea-nasir (er… this is a joke btw)
Our world if Ea-nasir had sold good copper:
Top tier joke, mate.
Maybe we need to give an offering of Viagra if we want Jesus to come again.
shhh…Jesus is coming…open your mouth.
🙏
TBF, his (hypothetical) dad planned the whole thing.
Is god also jesus and the holy spirit all at once?
Ah, yes, the holy Trinity.
The only thing that made less sense than a virgin birth or resurrection.
It still doesn’t make sense. Like from a narrative view either. It doesn’t help the story, or the belief it’s just a useless… Thing?
a virgin birth
parthenogenesis – Jesus is a clone of Mary – which also make him canonically a trans man
the perfect push over the edge for the doubting christian in your life: was Jesus trans or was Mary an adulterer?
What’s the logic?
Virgin births exist in nature. There are entire species of lizards that are only composed of females, for example the mourning gecko lepidodactylus lugubris only reproduces via virgin birth.
Due to how parthogenesis works, individuals born through virgin births are always clones of the mother. Thus they are all females.
If (big if) Jesus existed and IF (even bigger if) he was conceived through a virgin birth, he therefore must have been biologically female since there were no male chromosomes involved in his conception. Hence, Jesus sex must have been female but his gender was male (he/him pronouns)… ergo he was a trans man.
If Jesus existed and was a biological male, he could not have been conceived through a virgin birth, the best explanation then is that either a) Mary had sex with Joseph, but then why the virgin birth story? Or b) Mary was an adulterer who concocted the “virgin birth” story to hide her adultery from Joseph.
Since explanation a) falls flat on it’s face, we are left with either 1) trans man or 2) Mary the adulterer.
Edit: correcting spelling mistakes
Scholars unanimously agree that Jesus existed, was baptised and crucified. His followers had reason to believe that He rose from the dead as well.
You also left out explanation 0, which is that Jesus was conceived via the Holy Spirit. Jesus did have a Father - God. He is God from God. Joseph was also visited by an angel and I think we could probably take it as fact that they didn’t divorce (as we have records of Jesus being referred to a boy of Joseph) So no, this can’t cause a crisis of faith for a believer.
Miracles are called miracles for a reason- you are right that a virgin cannot give birth to a male without divine intervention (except from artificial insemination)
for what?
How does it debunk Christianity?
It makes sense in the context of an infinite being existing in numerous places at once. It’s not useless as it shows God Himself died for our sins
That’s all retconning.
Dude showed up with a message for peace, was murdered and his murder is celebrated. Literally, a bunch of people running around pretending that’s what he wanted. The propaganda is so strong that everyone just accepts it as fact.
It’s really not much different than claiming a women wanted to be sexually assaulted because of what she was wearing.
No?
Mark 15:29-30 And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads and saying, “Aha! You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself, and come down from the cross!”
Even the old testament shows it was voluntary
Isaiah 53:6-9 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people? And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth.
Jesus claimed to be God
John 10:30 “I and the Father are one.”
John 8:57-58 So the Jews said to him, “You are not yet fifty years old, and have you seen Abraham?” Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I am.”
Yeah, no shit. They wrote a bunch of books with varying accounts claiming exactly this. All retcon. All written decades after the events. The Bible is bullshit.
All written decades after the events.
Unlike most of history for that time, which was usually written centuries after the events.
He is whatever you want them to be.
No! It can’t be!
What is it?
It can’t be!
What did you do Ray?
Oh no!
It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
Yes.
Whosoever will be saved, before all things it is necessary that he hold the catholic faith. Which faith unless every one do keep whole and undefiled, without doubt he shall perish everlastingly. And the catholic faith is this: that we worship one God in Trinity, and Trinity in Unity; neither confounding the Persons, nor dividing the Essence. For there is one Person of the Father; another of the Son; and another of the Holy Ghost. But the Godhead of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, is all one; the Glory equal, the Majesty coeternal. Such as the Father is; such is the Son; and such is the Holy Ghost. The Father uncreated; the Son uncreated; and the Holy Ghost uncreated. The Father infinite; the Son infinite; and the Holy Ghost infinite. The Father eternal; the Son eternal; and the Holy Ghost eternal. And yet they are not three eternals; but one eternal. As also there are not three uncreated; nor three infinites, but one uncreated; and one infinite. So likewise the Father is Almighty; the Son Almighty; and the Holy Ghost Almighty. And yet they are not three Almighties; but one Almighty. So the Father is God; the Son is God; and the Holy Ghost is God. And yet they are not three Gods; but one God. So likewise the Father is Lord; the Son Lord; and the Holy Ghost Lord. And yet not three Lords; but one Lord. For like as we are compelled by the Christian verity; to acknowledge every Person by himself to be God and Lord; So are we forbidden by the catholic religion; to say, There are three Gods, or three Lords. The Father is made of none; neither created, nor begotten. The Son is of the Father alone; not made, nor created; but begotten. The Holy Ghost is of the Father and of the Son; neither made, nor created, nor begotten; but proceeding. So there is one Father, not three Fathers; one Son, not three Sons; one Holy Ghost, not three Holy Ghosts. And in this Trinity none is before, or after another; none is greater, or less than another. But the whole three Persons are coeternal, and coequal. So that in all things, as aforesaid; the Unity in Trinity, and the Trinity in Unity, is to be worshipped. He therefore that will be saved, let him thus think of the Trinity. Furthermore, it is necessary to everlasting salvation; that he also believe faithfully the Incarnation of our Lord Jesus Christ. For the right Faith is, that we believe and confess; that our Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is God and Man; God, of the Substance [Essence] of the Father; begotten before the worlds; and Man, of the Substance [Essence] of his mother, born in the world. Perfect God; and perfect Man, of a reasonable soul and human flesh subsisting. Equal to the Father, as touching his Godhead; and inferior to the Father as touching his Manhood. Who although he is God and Man; yet he is not two, but one Christ. One; not by conversion of the Godhead into flesh; but by assumption of the Manhood into God. One altogether; not by confusion of Substance [Essence]; but by unity of Person. For as the reasonable soul and flesh is one man; so God and Man is one Christ; Who suffered for our salvation; descended into hell; rose again the third day from the dead. He ascended into heaven, he sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty, from whence he will come to judge the living and the dead. At whose coming all men will rise again with their bodies; And shall give account for their own works. And they that have done good shall go into life everlasting; and they that have done evil, into everlasting fire. This is the catholic faith; which except a man believe truly and firmly, he cannot be saved.
Thruth is, opinions differ a lot among christians when it comes to trinity. You should respect other views (and not just the christian ones).
Apart from whether or not The Holy Spirit proceeds from the son as well as The Father, opinion doesn’t differ and all Christians agree on the triune God.
That’s simply not true, unitarians disagree with the trinity thing.
Unitarianism is a completely different religion 🤦 even Islam is closer to Christianity than to Unitarianism
Also not true. The Unitarian church is a reformed Christian branch, and there are more than one unitarian branches. The fact they seem like heretics to you doesn’t mean they’re not Chistians.
Yeah, but wait until you hear what these green guys did to Santa.
HO HO HO
Actually, he only cums once a year.
We killed God. And we’d do it again if given the chance.
Oh, I know a good chunk of this country seeing a brown skinned guy helping out the poor and being all woke and shit, would put him right back up on that cross.
God creates earth. God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys god. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.
Life, uh, finds a way.
Explanation: humans suck
