Having removed metadata and with nothing recognizable in the pic.

    • Jay@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      That’s my take. If your partner is aware and doesn’t mind there’s nothing wrong with it. If you’re doing it behind their back, that’s a big issue, in more ways than one.

  • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    Cheating is when you do something that betrays your partners trust.

    I couldn’t care less if my partners post nudes, anonymous or otherwise, so it wouldn’t be cheating for me.

    Other people feel differently, and so it could be cheating for them.

    • Kaity A@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 year ago

      I also agree.

      While I couldn’t care less (it’s their body and bodily autonomy is super important to me), I’d be a little hurt if they didn’t tell me about it.

      In that case I’d be more interested in talking to my partner to try and understand why they felt that they couldn’t talk to me about it and needed to keep it a secret.

  • livus@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    I think what’s important here is discussing it with your partner because it is a form of sex work.

    That’s absolutely your decision and your right, it’s your body - but your partner should get to choose whether they want to date someone who is doing that.

    Having removed metadata and with nothing recognizable in the pic.

    Not really relevant, that’s like saying ordinary cheating isn’t cheating if you wear a good disguise.

    • GenesisJones@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Oooo I think the analogy is a Little off. Just because of the way I interpreted why they said that in the first place.

      I think it was said because they are expressing that the nudes are as impersonal as possible, not to say look I deidentified myself. In my case (if I’m right, maybe I’m not) it’s a good faith argument to say see, I’m not trying to connect with someone I’m trying to have a business transaction, so comparing it to what wearing a disguise accomplishes in cheating isnt accurate.

      Again, that’s only based on my interpretation of why op added that bit

    • WalrusDragonOnABike@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      Someone is free to only date people who don’t do office work, but its their job to communicate that requirement and what they’d consider crossing that line. You shouldn’t be expected to consult your partner before filling out some paperwork at work and there shouldn’t be some societal-wide expectation that you would inform them of the work.

      • Nepenthe@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        When I get deeply emotionally attached to my data analyst, I might care if they’re moonlighting on the side. Sex, work or not, is still an emotional topic for most of the human race and it’s not new knowledge to anyone.

        Enough that it would not naturally occur to me that “please do not engage in prostitution while we’re together” needs to be said out loud. I will casually ask if you’re monogamous and if you say yes, that’s how monogamy works.

        Even aside from that, yeah, tbh, I would consider it good form to let your partner know you’re considering a new job regardless, just so they generally know what’s going on. If you have to hide it, maybe something is wrong.

        • WalrusDragonOnABike@kbin.social
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          1 year ago

          Selling a photo isn’t really prostitution in the way people usually use it. No physical contact, no risk of STDs, no commitment to anons purchasing, it doesn’t count.

          If you put a lot of time into it or doing it more long-term or they’re expecting you to be somewhere and you’re gonna be late, sure. If it’s a one-time thing that takes a very short amount of time, it’s insignificant enough to not matter whether or not you mention it. That’s not hiding anything more than not telling them you tied your shoes that day is hiding something.

      • livus@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        I personally would not date someone who is employed by the US military.

        If a partner hid that from me, it would be a breach of trust.

      • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 year ago

        If you’re in a relationship with someone that cares that deeply about office work, and you don’t have the first inkling that they do, you have significant communication problems that need to be addressed.

        More realistically, you’d know enough about your partner to know that it might be an issue for them, in which case, not knowing what their boundaries are, but knowing you’re at risk of crossing them, you’d communicate with them.

  • Call me Lenny/Leni@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Whether something, anything, is considered “cheating”, is based on whatever the two people in a relationship agree shall be considered cheating. It’s their relationship, their rules. An oral contract (pun intended).

  • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
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    1 year ago

    If you have enough thoughts wondering if it is wrong, it probably is. Communication is key in a relationship. If they are cool with it, then do your thing. If you’re too afraid to tell them then you already know the answer.

  • TheBananaKing@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I’m poly; I don’t have a personal definition of cheating in that context. My partner is a grown-up and can do what she wants; I can barely see how that’s even my business, let alone my problem.

    But if you pretend to follow a given set of rules, while actually secretly breaking them - that’s pretty much the definition of cheating in any context.

    If your partner would be not-OK with some activity, but you want to do it, then you either do it anyway and face the conflict head on, or you don’t do it at all.

    Selling nudes specifically - some would care a lot, some would be fine with it, and the only way to know is to ask. But sneaking around because you assume it’d be a dealbreaker if they found out - no bueno. No bueno at all.

    • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      This. Cheating isn’t any one specific thing, it’s a breach of trust. If you know your partner wouldn’t like it don’t do it. If you’re not sure, ask. If you don’t want to ask, then yeah it’s probably cheating.

    • OneOrTheOtherDontAskMe@lemmy.world
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      I think the fact they’re asking shows they’re not sure.

      But also, one should be sure what your partner constitutes as cheating before engaging in said action, yeah.

      My wife and I do not see the selling of nudes as cheating (unless non-consent to the nudes or the distribution, then it’s a lot of levels of gross) but others might disagree.

    • Synthead@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Yep, you’re asking everyone except the right person, here. Ask your partner. If you’re afraid to ask your partner, then assume it’s cheating until you do.

  • java@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Given data is irrelevant to the question. Anonymous or not, it depends on what your partner thinks about this. And if you don’t want your partner to know, then you already know the answer.

  • Tier 1 Build-A-Bear 🧸@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    If your partner knows about it and is ok with it? No. In any other context? Yes.

    If you’re keeping this from your partner, the fact that it’s not recognizable/traceable doesn’t make it better, it just means you know what you’re doing is wrong and you’re taking steps not to get caught.

    If you’re serious about this question, you should not be in a relationship. Regardless of whether it was you or your partner doing it, if it was hidden from the other person, it’s cheating.

  • AnneBoleynTudor@startrek.website
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    1 year ago

    Backing all these comments that say it’s about communication. If I found out my partner has been selling nudes, hiding it from me, and also hiding the money? An unforgivable betrayal of my trust and our relationship. If he came to me beforehand and we discussed it and the money went towards our mutual goals, it would at least be something I’d consider.

    The whole point is not hiding it from your partner. Discuss things before you do them.