Are people actually getting their undies in a bunch over a 3 year age gap? I find that hard to believe.
There are a lot of crazies out there. Some twitch or YouTube streamer I forgot the name of was accused of pedophilia for dating a minor a few years ago. His girlfriend was 17. He was 18 at the time.
IIRC a few years ago they tried to charge an 18 year old with possession of CP for having nudes of his 17 year old girlfriend at the time. Apparently her parents found out about their relationship and didn’t approve. Which seems like something that could have been handled with a sit-down talk rather than arresting him and potentially putting him on a list for life, but what do I know.
Yeah, most states have clauses in their laws for small age differences in relationships when one partner is below the age of consent, but the photographs make it more tricky because that’ll be sexual photographs of a minor forever.
Risky reporting it to the police though, since there have actually been cases of charging the underage girl with distribution, which is weird.
If he gets charged for possessing it, she should get charged for disseminating it.
Do the parents pay for the phone plan? Accomplices to distribution of child pornography.
Fucking hell, imagine being the parents of a 17 year old kid that is sending nudes to their age-appropriate SO and having the balls to blame the SO. You’re literally responsible for that kid’s education, you dumb fucks. You’re lucky you’re not in jail yourselves.
If I remember correctly, there was at least one case where a woman was accused for production of child pornography for her own photos found during phone repair. Can’t find the link though
The law is the law, I suppose🤷🏿
In capitalist America law breaks you.
Ya. The law is dumb as shit. I remember a story of a high school boy, i think 16yo, was tried for CP for having photos of himself on his phone.
Callmecarson. He was dating her before he turned 18 and there was only a couple months gap iirc.
That’s the one!
3 year age gap is nothing. I don’t understand people’s need to be disgusted by or police consenting adults.
There’s 15 years between me and my partner. Both 30+ so both very much consenting adults. But Christ, you still get people chirping with the ‘power differential’ bullshit. Like seriously, you’d think I was 13 the way people go at the age gap. Then again, that was when I actually used Reddit so.
People are always gonna be outraged by something stupid.
People who spend too much time on the internet, are often young, don’t have that much experience of the real world, but do have a disproportionate voice online. That’s why you’ll read plenty of dumb shit on the internet when it comes to relationships.
Luckily most of them outgrow this nonsense by actually living life. They join the work force, they make friends, they fuck, they fall in love. Unfortunately rather than living life and growing, some people become terminally online. They spend all day on the internet talking about life rather than living it. Afraid of getting hurt, or because they were hurt and decided never again, they are destined to wake up one day and realise they’ve wasted what could have been the best years of the life.
It’s sad, but it is what it is.
I dated a work colleague and people wouldn’t shut up about that either. I honestly think they spent more time thinking about it than we did. It wasn’t like she was my boss or anything so I wasn’t quite sure why it made any difference.
They kept saying it would be awkward if we break up, but then there were people in the company I already hated and I didn’t need to sleep with them to come to that conclusion.
Uh, if you were 13 and your partner 28, yep, that would be a “problem.”
I put it in quotes because I guess it depends on the region’s age of consent.
But my point is that an age gap can be significant depending on how old both parties are at the time.
Having said that, there was an 11 year old gap between me and my partner, but she was already in her mid-30s, so, no biggie.
That’s why I specified ‘between consenting adults’, because yes, 13 and 28 is definitely a problem.
Oh. I missed that.
Man wait until they hear about mine if true. My wife 7 years younger then me.
That anyone would have an issue with a 23yo going out with a 20yo is so bonkers to me. And you? 2 consenting adults don’t need to justify their relationship or intimacy to anyone.
If anyone was complaining to me about that age gap, i’d ignore anything they talked about forever.
That is also not a large gap.
Nope my bother wife 9 years younger then him. And my dad was once married to a woman 20 years older then him.
There was 25 years difference between my grandparents and no one ever thought that was a problem. It’s this new phenomenon that seems to have come about that people seem to think it’s an issue.
If you’re 20 and dating a 10-year-old, that’s a problem (hopefully we all agree on that). But if you’re 30 and dating the 20-year-old, that’s fine. The age difference isn’t important. The age of the individuals is what matters.
Exactly, but my kids think it should be an issue. So I blame them todays youth thinks it’s creepy.
Apparently, it’s half the age of the older person plus 7.
Even that was just pulled out of someone’s ass but for some reason it gets treated like it’s science.
Yeah I looked it up and it stems from the French of all people, who you would have thought would have been perfectly fine with young love, but there we go. Maybe It comes from the puritan movement?
Attributed to French author Max O’Rell in his 1901 “romantic guidebook” with the wildly unsexy title, Her Royal Highness Woman and His Majesty Cupid, the mathematical formula was O’Rell’s unofficial law re: romantic age gaps. According to his calculations, a bride’s ideal age was half the groom’s age plus seven years.
So I think we can retire that one. Also notice the use of the word ideal age. It wasn’t a mathematical formula for calculating the youngest that it’s acceptable to date. It’s a mathematical formula to calculate the ideal age to date, presumably there is a lower lower bound.
If somebody you never met says it with certainty, it’s science. That’s how it works. That’s the engine that runs our whole stupid society.
I know that’s supposed to be a thing, but it doesn’t make sense since, what is actually morally wrong with the 35-year-old dating a 20-year-old?
Everyone’s an adult in that scenario, no one’s taken advantage of anyone else.
My father was 36 and my mom was 23 when they got married. Other than him being somewhat abusive it was an okay marriage.
Half your age plus seven is the “general rule” I’ve always heard, but there are always exceptions. Even with that 23 and 20 is fine.
I’ve known some people who had a ‘+5 on weekends’ amendment to that rule.
That’s more of a preference. The “your age divided by 2 plus 7” rule is more about social acceptability of the relationship. But hook-ups are just sex, and generally not subjected to scrutiny, and that doesn’t have to be acceptable to anyone but you and your partner.
Most people generally like to keep their partners in their age range, but it’s very flexible depending on the prospective partner. And there are quite a few young people out there that do genuinely like more mature sexual partners even if they’d never actually date them.
That calculation was a joke that justified old men dating women barely half their age. It wasn’t meant to be an actual guideline
The time is not the issue. It’s more that the two people are in different phases of life and maturity. Though 20 junior in university and 23 right out of college isn’t really much of a difference. 20yo vs a 17yo junior in HS would be a much bigger difference
A 23-year-old just out of college acts exactly the same way as a 20-year-old in college. There’s literally no difference.
Be careful speaking in absolutes regarding human behavior.
I get the difference in experience and where you are in life is a factor, but the issue is people presume the existence of that factor outweighs all others, and that it can only result in a negative.
Can you give me an example of actual harm being done to the younger person in a gap between high school and college? Harm that applies near universally, to every young person, if they ever enter a relationship with someone that is only a single major life experience ahead of them?
Harm can be done, obviously, but it’s about the circumstances of that specific relationship. There’s no reason to presume it as a rule in a case like this.
It also makes an unfair presumption on both parties: that the older person is irresponsible and manipulative, and the younger person is immature and vulnerable.
It really is kind of odd how much we talk about this topic without appreciating that at a certain point we are almost infantilizing young adults. We agree they’re old enough to vote, own a gun, smoke, and drink, but we can’t give them the the courtesy of respecting their decisions on who they want to sleep with? They’re not actual children.
Uh huh. I’m not going to search for abuse cases. But you can tell it’s very much frowned upon in society just by looking at popular media.
For a recent example: the new Scott Pilgrim show. He’s universally looked down upon for dating a 17yo.
It really is kind of odd how much we talk about this topic without appreciating that at a certain point we are almost infantilizing young adults.
HS students are children.
When I met my wife I was 27… she was 19. And I got some good-natured (I think) hassle about dating a teenager.
ಠ_ಠ
I met her at work, and assumed she was in her mid 20’s. We had been dating for a few weeks when she told me that her birthday was in a few days. I asked her how old she would be and she said “20”. Oops.
She’s 36 now. But she still looks like she is in her 20’s.
Yes they are. It’s crazy.
Also there is a weird. Women are powerful and can look after themselves we have equality now. Then the next sentence omg that man is awful he is taking advantage of that poor helpless women who isn’t capable of making her own life choices.
I also don’t use Twitter, Instagram or TikTok because they’re terrible.
I also don’t quite understand why a 20-year-old dating a 23-year-old is contentious. There’s no age gap at all. Who exactly is having a problem with this?
He sounds like a perfectly normal person who just doesn’t read the news.
Somewhat well adjusted, untouched by the corrupt hands of those unfamiliar with the prickly sting of fresh grass.
He said “you already know that bothers a subsection of the population”.
Not that anyone actually did, that was in his imagination.
Oh it bothers a certain kind of chronically online person. Tbf it’s a very small number of people, but they do exist, and are quite loud
What do they find an acceptable age range then? 6 months but no more?
Well imagine if they have been dating for 4 years
Ok…but that’s not the scenario in question.
I mean, fuck, imagine if he beats her and killed her dog. We can “imagine” things all day.
imagine if hes actually a 900 year old vampire. thatd be CREEPY
What if he’s like, SUPER sparkly?
16 to 19 isn’t really a big gap either imo
It’s not but one is an adult and shouldn’t be in a relationship with the kid
Depends where you live, in the UK it’s fine.
Not in the US… Kids have to breakup when they turn 18 lol
That’s not true. About half the states in the US have “Romeo and Juliet” laws to protect couples in this situation. For example, when my husband and I started dating I was 19 and he was 16, and that age gap was perfectly legal in my state.
the kids themselves breakup when they turn 18 to avoid being frowned upon
Yeah but this is only happening in your made-up story that didn’t happen and isn’t relevant to what we’re talking about, so why you going on about it?
Do we know when they started dating? No.
I can say the same of any couple. So what’s the relevance of the comment?
Removed by mod
Maybe not in the republic of Mormon land but fuck you retard. I had the best time in my life at that age, guess what I was the 16 y.o. part.
In my native country that’s perfectly fine as well, if the age gap is less than 5 years and one is less than 18 they are literally both kids, whether one of them has passed an imaginary line or not. This is just being pedantic. You will reply “uhhh so an 18 years old should be able to date a 13 years old?” completely ignoring that a 17 yo can anyway date a 12 yo without any problem. What are we even talking about? At that age parents should supervise them anyway
I am 24, autistic, straight edge, and a data analyst. I’m the youngest person in my company, the closest person to me in age is 45. I haven’t used a regular social media site since I was 14. My only interaction with modern discourse is my girlfriend’s 18 year old sister. When she talks she might as well be speaking another language. My hobbies are unix, classic literature, VHS collecting, and synthesizers. My girlfriend calls me her 80 year old boyfriend.
Isn’t Lemmy a social media?
The anonymous factor differentiates things.
Can’t any social media be anonymous?
Sure but it’s not intended to be.
Also a big part of it is imo that you never interact with the same people on sites like reddit or Lemmy, you don’t follow anyone or anything.
I often see the same people over and over again on lemmy since its a small community. I even saw the same nicks on reddit often (like shittymorph). But yes it isn’t intended to be ego centric like other sites.
Good old asocial network.
So Twitter isn’t a social media?
Usernames though. Anonymous would be something like 4chan
I guess they mean Facebook, Xitter, etc. You know, the big ones.
I think anonymous social media, while still social media, occupies a very different category from non-anonymous (identified?) social media. And the default interpretation of “social media” is the latter.
That’d make Twitter not social media for people not using their actual names.
Alot of people do use their names on Twitter, and they really encourage you to follow, buy, and sell.
I don’t recall people calling forums social media, and Lemme (and Reddit) are more like forums, with you following the subject. Not each other. Very much like BBS back in the day except with links.
The tougher requirement of people using their name would leave very few social medias. Basically just LinkedIn and Facebook, with Twitter and others that have usernames but also named people being in the grey area.
Even though there are anonymous people on twitter, it still asks you to follow, and the posts are generally self promotion, not discussion of topics. That is the big difference.
Lemmy is media, without the social part. Unless you really want to. I have not even looked at the users names I respond to, because that does not matter. On twitter, it actually does, real name or not.
Any media can be anonymous.
It’s a link aggregator
It’s also “social news”, which is a kind of social media.
Only if you don’t participate in the comments sections or even just look at them.
More or less, but they specified “regular social media” which Lemmy is not
I’m on kbin. But I’d consider this and other reddit inspired websites to be closer to a forum than a social media. Sure, you can use it like a regular social media site, but it’s more tilted towards a forum method.
How dare you?
Not a regular one
If you’re 80 i hope your gf isn’t in her 20s
Got any of your music out there we could listen to?
My current project is called Obfuscation. It’s atmospheric synth music inspired by aliens.
https://obfuscation.bandcamp.com/
My previous project was Das Kommando. It was a harsh black noise project about violent suicide.
You’re who I pictured. Thanks for the validation.
deleted by creator
Am I out of the loop? I didn’t think being a straight edge was something to be proud of. I feel like it includes a good amount of intolerance and judgement. It’s this not the case?
I don’t know if people are proud of it. Most people that I have known that are straight edge just don’t want to do drugs or alcohol. I haven’t known them to be judgemental of others who do, to each their own.
I just don’t care to put substances in my body that are effectively toxic. If you think, being high at all times is the best way to live life, then more power to you.
Really, it’s annoying that people think we’re judgemental. I’m guessing, lots of folks judge themselves for it, but as long as everyone else does the drugs, they aren’t confronted with that.
As soon as I dare to exist, not putting toxic substances into my body, they’ll feel judged, because I’m adhering to their moral standard of not doing drugs, effectively reminding them that it would be doable.If I come up with some bullshit reasoning, like I’m the designated driver, rather than the truth that I just don’t want it, they’ll feel more at ease. Although, I guess, that would also be the case, if they truly thought I was actively judging them.
Yeah, I’m proud that I have self control and have maintained a lifestyle that many people fail at. I’m proud to be associated with a community of people that live the same way. It’s better than being proud of how much booze you can down or how high you can get.
We need more people like Alex
Ignorant and complacent? Alex would be a Nazi sympathizer.
Honestly I just want more people who don’t know what “body count” means.
I agree with this. It’s shames people who aren’t promiscuous.
Edit: orrr we can say it degrades those who haven’t had a fuckton of sexual partners… you like that description better??
For people who use the term, men who have had few partners are losers, women who have had more than a few are sluts, and actual human beings are reduced to scores. It’s a shit mentality in all directions.
Ew. I don’t quite like your framing any better
Ew. Luckily I’m free to disagree with you
Sex Shame much?
I thought they were implying he was a serial killer. But comments further down show that is not the case.
Most reddit comment
Speaking as someone who was overly sheltered… All of this is plausible.
This is funny but I have a slight feeling that it’s made up
The one that seems slightly unbelievable to me is the “body count”. Unless he didn’t know what it’s used for now and was trying to play it off as a joke.
… What is it used for now? I have a guess, but if correct, I’ve never heard it used that way.
Number of people you’ve slept with.
Body count is how many different people you’ve had sex with. Or how many you’ve murdered, but usually at a get-together it’s the first one.
The first one was my guess, but I’ve sincerely never heard it used that way.
The second one is the way I’ve heard it used before.
Thank you for the answer.
Don’t worry, the key is to just start counting on your fingers.
If you have to ask, it’s probably 0.
I only recently heard about this one. But I’m decently older than 23.
I could buy this being a true story. Modern social media contravorcy is getting so ridiculous even I who passively takes part ends up out of the loop on occasion. Just imagine what is happening to someone who doesn’t take part in Twitter or tick tock at all.
Just imagine what is happening to someone who doesn’t take part in Twitter or tick tock at all.
Shouldn’t that be most of us? I don’t use those garbage websites or their apps.
Good. You should doubt.
You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies?
There are no posts from this user on that subreddit so there’s that.
https://old.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/search?q=Author%3Abengalroute47&restrict_sr=on
Good find. Searching “my coworker is so unaware” on Google shows a deleted thread on r/casualconversation so who knows.
He is living the life.
The person who wrote this sounds like a twat. Why judge the guy and put him on blast because he doesn’t follow the same social norms as you?
You thought this was putting him on blast? The last sentence is “Love you man”, you can’t get much farther from “on blast” than that.
Love you bro
Stop blasting him!
Did… did you read the whole thing or did you jump straight to the comments to complain…? Nowhere is the OP putting him on blast, if anything the post is supportive.
I read it and still have a conflicting feeling about the post. Don’t know, it just doesn’t produce the “wholesome rant about charming things about a nice person” vibe, more like “I find you weird and love laughing at you” vibe
Seems rather positive towards the guy
This is one of those people who dont live or care about the internet, honestly this sounds like a very healthy lifestyle.
Lemmy really gives reddit for boomers with these made up rage bait posts like this.
Gets straight to the top and everyone is saying they wish they could be this guy because they don’t care about modern issues and want to go “back to the good ol days”. Rage bait didn’t even get rage, just people creaming over the idea of not thinking about global issues and trans rights.
I think people are just sick of all the self righteous fart smellers and the idea of someone who hasn’t gotten sucked into paying attention to them is endearing.
A couple months ago I was hanging out with my teenage cousin and his friends. I said something funny, and a friend said “what is that a reference to?” The problem I have is that I’m expected to be “making references” and all jokes are “memes”. There’s barely any original comedy to the point where original jokes are misunderstood as “rare memes”. I just say funny things. I’m not referencing anyone. I do like memes, but not everything is a meme.
Lol “kids these days” you’re saying the same shit people have said to shit on younger generations since Aristotle. And you’re calling them unoriginal.
Uhhh no? I’m 24. And the whole meme craze is driving out original comedy in favor of in-jokes. Also, I doubt Aristotle complained about tiktok memes
They could just get off the internet if they wanted
Nailed it.
I’m confused, what exactly did they nail?
He must have a high body count!
Why is it helpful to think about gender or global news exactly? Isn’t it better for mental well being to focus on your loved ones and what you can accomplish in a day. I don’t appreciate attention whores sucking up my time usually.
Because gender or global news may be important to your loved ones or just other humans you might like to show basic respect and decency to. You don’t need to become well read on every subject anyone might be passionate about, but it really doesn’t take a lot of effort to learn some pronouns and generally what’s going on in the world so you can be kinder to others.
Thank you, well said.
Isolationist me me me, why would I care about something that I’m not aware affects me or people I love even though it absolutely does attitude is the boomer mentality.
And energy.
What is “body count” in this context? Does it mean your number of sexual partners? If so, that’s very dismissive and reductive.
Also weird that they were asked that at a coworker get together
The one thing from the redpills that spilled over to normal people.
Sex is fun, and meeting new fun people is great.
Referring to them as “body count” is neither
Not going to list names when I’m asked about my experiences, unless I’m having that conversation with a SO.
Being respectful of people in general is important. Whatever phrasing that allows me to talk about myself and keeps the other involved people anonymous is fine by me.
Why don’t call them partners, for instance? How’s that not anonymous?
It’s to remove the concept of relationships. Stay disconnected from other humans, just get your pleasure and move along.
Well, that’s just awful, thanks.
Yes and yes
And this man is probably the most mentally healthy man this guy knows as well.
Jesus fucking christ, right? I look at all the comments calling the dude autistic and just think - when these kids are 30-40 and look back at their life, they’ll realize this guy was the most well-adjusted individual they ever knew and spend their mid-life crisis trying to emulate him by deleting their social networks and finally doing shit that pleases/develops them instead of shit that get them likes.
But so many of them will do the first step right in disengaging from social media…but then will only ever be able to make the next step be bragging about step one and trying to shame anyone and everyone who is exactly what they were not too long ago.
And one crazy effect I’ve seen is that it’s no longer stratified by age.
I rarely get on Facebook anymore but lately when I do, it’s full of people in their 50s and 60s, who are totally absorbed in that social media life and have their own strange cultural bubble among similar users, that I’m totally unable to relate to beyond observing it for what it is.
A real human bean, and a real… hero.
A bean, you say?
Maybe it’s because I’m a foreigner; maybe I’m also too disconnected, but I didn’t get half of the supposed contentious items listed in this post.
Reading the comments, I was like, ‘oh, that’s what they meant by…’. The body count really surprised me, and in a negative way. Body count sounds so… tasteless. But who cares. Since I don’t use that expression, I’ll probably forget it soon (the good side of having a lousy memory).
Body count sounds so… tasteless.
It is. Definitely not something I’d include under “modern discourse”. I’d say a co-worker asking that and using that particular term is the one that’s disconnected from the present.
Definitely home schooled
That’s one more point for homeschooling. I wish I didn’t have to deal with the stupidity that’s being pushed into the zeitgeist by TikTok and Insta. I don’t even use them, but I have to deal with their braindead ideas on the daily anyway.
Let’s see what radical stuff you think tiktok and insta are pushing into mainstrain awareness:
- trans rights
- palestinian/israel conflict
- trans rights again, but more contemporary nomenclature
- semi-modern term for sexual partner count
Yeah, truly subversive stuff.
Don’t forget braindead NPC and Everyone Has Mental Illness bullshit as well as whatever Alt Right goon is popular rightnnow but sure if you want to cherrypick a few vague topics Tiktok is just a bastion of progressive ideas.
Cherry pick? I took it from THIS POST. Karlos_Cantana is complaining in this post with the above as an example of stupidity being pushed by social media.
That’s fair, they seem to be pro-homeschooling too which speaks a lot to their priorities and ideas, carry on.
Subversive is mainstream now. That’s how we sell it. Rebels do what they’re told. Rule-breakers are the real fascists.
