• Raykin@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Ah, the dead man’s switch. It always reminds me of the time my homophobic uncle-in-law died in a car crash and they found his secret stash of gay porn in the wreckage. Yeah, good luck explaining that one at the pearly gates my man.

    • drolex@sopuli.xyz
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      8 months ago

      What a brave man. While trying to protect the society from the evils of homosexualiness (rainbows, questionable moustaches, etc), he still tried to study the enemy to understand their flawed logic. 🫡

    • tourist@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      man not only had a secret stash, he kept it in his fucking car

      that means he was either going back and forth between the wank cave and the honda every session or he fapped in or around his car

      • Raykin@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Hearing them tell it, you would think they were more upset about the stash than his death.

        I like to think it was both. He probably crashed because he was fapping in the car on the way to the wank cave to swap the fap cache. At least then he died doing what he loved.

        Come to think of it, I’m reminded of a detail that may corroborate my theory. He was ejected from the car when it rolled. It actually pancaked his head, leaving the rest of him pretty intact.

        Anyway, he clearly wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. So now I’m thinking why wasn’t he wearing it? And why was his dick out when they found him? I guess God is mysterious or whatever he used to like to say.

  • problematicPanther@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    meh, if i die you can check my porn history. You’ll just find femboy furry hentai, like everyone else. i’d be more embarrased by the duck duck go searches for when I’m trying to fix something.

    • Jimbo@yiffit.net
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      8 months ago

      You’ll just find femboy furry hentai, like everyone else.

      Don’t know about the accuracy of this statement, but boy I hope it’s true

    • Ziixe@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      8 months ago

      You’ll just find femboy furry hentai, like everyone else.

      Can’t wait in 10 years when I can check my femboy friends search history after he dies from a heart attack (he excessively drinks energy drinks), I bet there will be shit like “femboy tentacle expansion” or something weird like that

    • drolex@sopuli.xyz
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      8 months ago

      Priest or equivalent: ‘We are gathered today to remember the life of Bjrn Tantau, who had this uncommon, but not weird, kink about hobo feet’

      Assembly: ‘Good for them’