When I first started my career, I was in a new town and looking for friends. I met this guy, and we started hanging out. It was cool, we had a lot in common and spent many days playing video games together and hanging out at the local stores. He told me his anxiety was so bad that he dropped out of high school, didn’t have any other friends, was still living with his parents, and couldn’t really hold down a job. We had some deep conversations about these things, trying to work through the whys and things he could do to get over them. One day, he told me that he really appreciated our friendship, and that it helped him get over some of his anxiety and basically feel worthy as a person. He eventually started hanging out with other people too, and even got a girlfriend. Eventually, he went on to get his GED (turns out it was easy, he just didn’t have the confidence to try), is going to community college, moved out of his parents, and has a job he enjoys in his field of study already. I moved away, and we don’t talk as much as we used to, but last I heard he was doing great. I don’t feel like I did much, just hanging out with a friend, but I’m glad I was a part of getting his life moving in the right direction.
As someone who’s been in a position like your friend, you did more than you realize. Sometimes we need someone to help us open that door, and help push us through.
It’s hard to tell yourself you’re okay, that you can make it through, because you’re dealing with those feelings directly, all of their intensity, it can feel like a constant battle with yourself. When there’s someone else, though, someone who sees all this and still makes you feel normal, it gives you ground.
A small moment of making someone feel genuinely valued, be it as a friend, a partner, or just another valid existence in this world, can be a bigger help than some people know.
When I first started my career, I was in a new town and looking for friends. I met this guy, and we started hanging out. It was cool, we had a lot in common and spent many days playing video games together and hanging out at the local stores. He told me his anxiety was so bad that he dropped out of high school, didn’t have any other friends, was still living with his parents, and couldn’t really hold down a job. We had some deep conversations about these things, trying to work through the whys and things he could do to get over them. One day, he told me that he really appreciated our friendship, and that it helped him get over some of his anxiety and basically feel worthy as a person. He eventually started hanging out with other people too, and even got a girlfriend. Eventually, he went on to get his GED (turns out it was easy, he just didn’t have the confidence to try), is going to community college, moved out of his parents, and has a job he enjoys in his field of study already. I moved away, and we don’t talk as much as we used to, but last I heard he was doing great. I don’t feel like I did much, just hanging out with a friend, but I’m glad I was a part of getting his life moving in the right direction.
As someone who’s been in a position like your friend, you did more than you realize. Sometimes we need someone to help us open that door, and help push us through.
It’s hard to tell yourself you’re okay, that you can make it through, because you’re dealing with those feelings directly, all of their intensity, it can feel like a constant battle with yourself. When there’s someone else, though, someone who sees all this and still makes you feel normal, it gives you ground.
A small moment of making someone feel genuinely valued, be it as a friend, a partner, or just another valid existence in this world, can be a bigger help than some people know.
I’m glad to hear that, and glad you had someone to push you through as well! Thanks for sharing!