I don’t understand why business people do this to themselves. I quit working for large organizations in favor of smaller companies that pay less, because at least there’s much less of this. It does get unbearable.
Lingo is a powerful social tool. Once you know to look for it, you see it everywhere.
Some lingo is always necessary for jobs to communicate complex ideas quickly. Everyone has terms and phrases used in their profession that are exclusive to it, as well as some that are exclusive to their workplace. People outside of their job don’t know the lingo, those inside do. In this way lingo is a double-edged sword: it eases communication, but creates a social barrier between those in the know and everyone else.
In an increasing number of places this isolating side effect has been used by certain groups as the motivation for them to contrive lingo. For a long time this was largely relegated to cults and other fringe groups that wanted to shore up the feeling of togetherness of the people within and keep them away from outsiders.
The big change was when groups found that by constantly changing the lingo they could induce two other effects: the exclusion of outsiders and exerting control over existing insiders. The MBA/business types are a prime example of this. For people in or seeking to be a part of the group knowing the latest buzzwords is a must, and not knowing them or using outdated ones opens them up to being ostracized. People who are “in” must constantly stay up to date, thus staying attentive to the trends of the group. At the same time people with a casual interest or interaction are actively dissuaded by how often unfamiliar words are used by members of the group.
This sort of weaponized use of lingo is much more widespread these days. Once you see it in this case you can find it in just about every flavor of modern political group and online forum. If you find a group that seems to always be changing its buzzwords, buyer beware.
I couldn’t understand what you were saying, you didn’t use nearly enough lingo, so I translated it.
"Ah, the almighty power of lingo—like the Swiss Army knife of social circles. Once you’re hip to the jargon game, it’s like spotting Easter eggs in every convo. At work, lingo’s the secret sauce for pushing complex ideas through the pipeline fast. But hey, here’s the kicker: it’s like having a VIP pass—you’re either in the club or left standing outside.
Now, here’s where it gets spicy. Some folks take that lingo and flip the script—they don’t just use it, they manufacture it like a startup cranking out MVPs. Back in the day, this was mostly culty vibes, fringe-y circles looking to get the ‘us vs. them’ mojo going. But then boom—the suits came in, turned it into a science, and voilà, welcome to Corporate Speak 2.0.
MBA-types are the real MVPs here. Knowing the latest buzzwords is like holding the golden ticket. If you’re still rocking last quarter’s vocab, well, tough luck—you’re getting a one-way ticket to Outsider-ville. Gotta keep your buzzword game on point, always watching the trends, or else risk going full ‘legacy system.’ Meanwhile, casuals who just want to dip a toe in? They’re hitting the eject button as soon as they hear ‘synergize’ for the tenth time.
But hey, it’s not just the corporate world—we’ve got weaponized lingo all over the place now. Find a group that keeps updating their lingo like it’s firmware? Yeah, you might wanna run a virus scan on that one."
I translated it to c-suite corporate-speak:
Optimizing Lingo as a Transformational, Value-Add Social Leveraging Mechanism
In the current hyper-dynamic, synergistic landscape, lingo is a critical facilitator of cross-functional knowledge transfer, enabling holistic communication frameworks to be embedded within organizational matrices. Once the stakeholder acquires the bandwidth to proactively surface these paradigm-shifting levers, it becomes apparent that this vernacular is omnipresent across multiple channels of engagement and value streams.
Operational lingo, when fully actualized, becomes a game-changer for driving frictionless workflows and delivering on mission-aligned, results-oriented KPIs. Each ecosystem—whether enterprise-level or bespoke—cultivates a differentiated lexicon of granularized actionables and strategic terminology, enhancing the cross-pollination of intellectual capital. However, this also perpetuates segmentation, as those external to core stakeholder groups often lack the strategic alignment or context to operationalize these linguistic frameworks. Thus, lingo operates as a double-edged value driver: enhancing scalability of communication while concurrently constructing barriers to entry for non-value-aligned players.
Recently, we have seen an inflection point where these outcome-driven segmentation tactics have been scaled by emergent thought leaders to build ecosystem-specific, exclusionary lexicons. Historically, this practice was decentralized to fringe, non-synergistic clusters seeking to optimize internal cohesion while leveraging exclusivity as a differentiator. However, we are now experiencing a shift in the value chain dynamics.
Forward-facing market disruptors and blue-chip entities have identified that iterative pivots in proprietary lingo ecosystems can facilitate two core outcomes: exclusion of non-core, low-engagement stakeholders, and the amplification of influence across in-network human capital. The MBA/business sector provides a best-in-class use case for this kind of transformational buzzword orchestration. For key players aiming to optimize their seat at the table and maintain an upward trajectory within the talent pipeline, maintaining fluency in bleeding-edge terminology is table stakes. Failure to operationalize these linguistic shifts exposes individuals to significant delta in personal brand equity, rendering them non-competitive in the talent marketplace. Conversely, those maintaining a pulse on agile trend-spotting ensure they remain mission-critical, driving bottom-line ROI. Meanwhile, non-core participants with limited value contribution are effectively right-sized through continuous deployment of next-gen verbiage.
This transformative use of weaponized lingo is now a best practice across multiple verticals. Once you architect the mental model to map this strategic framework, its scalable applications can be identified across virtually every touchpoint in the socio-political ecosystem, digital community infrastructures, and high-growth market disruptors. If you encounter a team consistently beta-testing and iterating its buzzword bandwidth, consider this a key risk factor for potential high-barrier entry scenarios. Maintain strategic agility.
Now we’re in full-on C-suite bingo territory! How’s that for unintelligibility?
Thanks, I hate it
Send a bondulance, I’m having a stronk.
I hate this. Seething hatred.
The only thing I would disagree on is that lingo is a recent phenomenon. That’s just recency bias.
The Catholic Church used Latin at mass from its inception to the mid-20th century, and the oldest Greek versions of the Bible already use some words we simply have never seen anywhere else.
Philosophers have always been a notorious PITA with using existing words or close derivatives of existing words with different meanings, sometimes the lingo is specific to a single author.
And let’s not even get into judicial lingo and its very ancient and storied use of disenfranchising the less fortunate who did not speak it and could not afford a lawyer to speak it for them - that is when the court system wasn’t in Latin.
Corporate lingo takes more room in our lives as large corporations take up more and more of the economic and political landscape (with some interesting evolutions in form thanks to the influence of Globish). That’s it.
The only thing I would disagree on is that lingo is a recent phenomenon. That’s just recency bias.
Ever-changing lingo is almost certainly a recent phenomenon, as the pace and frequency of communication has changed drastically recently.
It’s difficult to get a new buzzword to float to a massive audience without mass communication. More recently, the president can invent a new buzzword (e.g. one I remember viscerally is "WMD"s which I swear I had never heard before the run-up to the Iraq war) and have social media, mass media, and individual people saying it in under a week.
I also think this is partly why “Gen Z speak” sounds so strange to my ear. When I heard “rizz” I knew without looking it up that it was invented and dispersed in online circles. Sure, there have been other generations with their own lingo, but other generations didn’t cook up country-wide or even worldwide lingo that can be directly attributed to one YouTube personality or another. Growing up I very, very rarely heard people using online subculture speak (e.g. l33t sp34k) in real life because we all knew it would sound fucking stupid.
You’re just getting old. Things have perhaps gotten a little faster in general, but Gen Z didn’t invent slang. Also “skibbidy rizz” is Gen Alpha more than Z. And slang very rarely is attributable to a single personality. Apparently Kai Cenat popularized “rizz”, but it had existed for a long time before and has way outgrown him. The vast majority of people who unironically say “rizz” don’t even know who he is.
The linguistic phenomenon isn’t even linked to the internet particularly. It’s just a contraction of “charisma”, hardly an unusual way for slang to emerge pre-internet and not comparable to 1337 5p34k which never made it out of terminally online subcultures.Before the internet, radio, TV, and the press were effective tools for massively spreading slang. Boomers had no issues making “cool” cool, as well as a bunch of other slang words that unlike “cool” aren’t cool anymore.
Your generation had “WMDs” but I’m sure boomers had similar things with Vietnam, and their parents with WWII. Hell, in 1918 or so the entire world learned the phrase “Spanish flu” like we did “COVID”. The more things change the more they stay the same.
And how can we forget “OK” whose origins are mysterious but generally people agree it comes from a short lived 19th century linguistic fad that gave “Oll Korrect” (what’s for sure is that “okay” came after “OK”). Now “OK” is quite possibly the most universal word in existence. Sure back then it probably took a few years to spread within the anglosphere, but OTOH there was also much more dialectic variability in language across regions so it’s not like there was less going on, it was just more fragmented.
People have always been going crazy with language and each generation appropriates their mother tongue in their unique way. The idea that language is even remotely static or “used to be less crazy” is entirely false, yet every generation perpetuates this idea when confronted with new slang they don’t understand.
You’re just getting old.
Yeah the same is true for me and you and everyone else. But the rate of change of lingo has increased because the power that used to belong to only people with direct access to mass media now belongs to anyone who has or had a “viral” moment.
Sure back then it probably took a few years to spread within the anglosphere, but OTOH there was also much more dialectic variability in language across regions so it’s not like there was less going on, it was just more fragmented.
That’s exactly the point. Of course language isn’t static and wasn’t static ever, but the ability for lingo to spread and become mainstream has increased with the ability to reach new audiences provided by new forms of mass media (termed as social media).
I once got an email from an executive C-level who mentioned adding value at least four times in a single paragraph.
Annoying as hell because the email hardly contained anything of substance.
That would be every e-mail from C-level.
That’s the special executive duckspeak.
I’ve gone from being righteously angry to bored and hopeless hearing the speech of some particularly skilled practitioners.
It’s really kind of amazing how this kind of babble can have such an intense emotional impact while textually imparting almost 0 new information.
It’s all about the vibes conveyed by the medium. Kind of like how trump talks in a way, come to think of it.
I had a business professor who used “value add” constantly, to the point that I still can’t hear that 20 years later without cringing. Our final project in his class was something like “look at a business and find a place where you can value add.” That was literally all the guidance we got.
I cannot tell you how many bosses Ive had/ heard say they are going to have a moment of “radical kindness” and then proceed to just RIP into their employees until they cry.
Corporate double speak is wack.
This sounds quite specific for something you had to experience multiple times. Hope the people are ok and you found something better to work for.
idk, I know that there are great companies to work for- my sister found a unicorn of a job. Great pay (and hourly), tons of vacation, work from home, a decent amount of travel but not too much (she’s in sales for a scientific instrument company), but I have job hopped enough to know that what she has is now becoming the exception. And of course to your point, this is all anecdotal. I’m now self employed and I’ve never been busier nor happier.
I’m picking up a scent of conservative-flavored grindset thinking, where since adversity and pain build character and resilience, I’m pretty much the best person I can be by being a complete piece of shit to those around me.
We’ll circle back to this next week.
With actionable deliverables
To move the needle
I’m fucking mad that I hear many of these every day and ENGLISH IS NOT MY FUCKING MOTHERTONGUE YOU FUCKING FUCKS
Ping me
I’m in full swing of a job search and I painfully relate to this image
No way, this is a great reference chart. All the actionables have been curated into one place.
Agile and synergize aligned itself into this chat.
look at this guy being proactive
It’s interoperable, baby. It’s how we get to “done” by energising ourselves, being more agile, adapting to new models, and advocating on behalf of–
Okay, I can’t do anymore I’m repulsed.
I hate you for writing that. I hate that those words are present in my daily work life. Fuck corporate language.
Let’s table that for a second and circle back to it. Help me understand why you hate me for writing that. What can I do to help? Consider that our goal is to maximise our efficiency by staying in our lanes, escalating where required, and providing all necessary language to our partners for transparency’s sake.
LOL I’m really sorry to do that to you bud but it’s fun to laugh at the way we have to talk in corporate world
No worries, it’s all in good fun :)
It’s a totally outrageous paradigm.
For some unknown reason the phrase “thought leader” drives me crazy.
How do you feel about “Leading thought leader”? 🤮
Thoughtful leading thought leader.
Are you a Theoretical Physicist?
I have a theoretical degree in physics.
Makes me wanna logout life
Self-uninstall
Unsafely eject drive
My least favourite was my company motto of “Personal, Simple, Brilliant.” It was supposed to be an ethos that ran through the whole company. It was actually just what management expected front line workers to be towards customers, regardless of whether the business leaders were making decisions to screw over the customer and the front line staff or not.
The amount of times I asked for support only to be shot down and laughed at when I told them “Well, that doesn’t sound very personal, simple or brilliant to me.” when speaking of their management culture.
Fun game to play at “all-hands” meetings: https://www.businessbuzzwordbingo.com/
This shit makes me want to start a cult in the woods so I can live completely isolated from corporate culture bullshit
Synergy
Cross-Pollination. Breaking Down Silos.
Cross-Pollination
My team lead likes to talk about “fertilizing each other”.
Elon?
Cross-functional is the variant I see more often
what are “new verticals”? do i even want to know?
They are opportunities for increasing shareholder value through innovative and disruptive market-leading practices.
🤢🤮
I mean not necessarily, they could just be ways to expand profit centers by increasing pipeline opportunities through net new MQLs
Depending on the context of the business, it could also mean exploring new product categories, like a bicycle maker deciding to get into the skateboard market because it happens to be popular. Or in the context of an online news website, a “vertical” is whether you are writing about tech, or health, or pop culture, etc…
When I wrote for MUO (very briefly) I was assigned to the creative software “vertical”; writing articles about video editing software, updates to different paint/art programs, etc…
This is the correct answer, but I wanted to be silly.
Also, it makes sense that an ellipsis as a single character exists, but I’ve never seen it before. It’s blowing my mind.
Verticals are industries. I.e, “services” or “wholesale” are verticals.
Ok but hear me out.
We acquired 20 new logos this month!
“Net new logos” was an actual term used in the company I previously worked for.
I worked with a government IT department that focused on renaming itself at least 7 times.in 2 years, with new mission, vision, logo, etc. each name was something like “end users experience department” or some shit liek that.
