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UPDATE: The transphobe Ada has been defending says they misgender all trans women/NBs on Blahaj who are strangers - Blåhaj Lemmy
lemmy.blahaj.zoneFurther information on the situation with the transphobia: Abigail has
repeatedly misgendered me and defended her choice by saying she chooses to refer
to all people of unknown gender as male. > Hey, Abigail here. I just want people
to know the reason this person got banned is likely because of a deleted comment
not included in that thread. OP called me ~~autistic ~~ mentally unwell for not
liking politics. THAT kind of behavior is not acceptable on lemmy.blahaj.zone,
so I reported the comment and let Ada handle it. Ada tried in good faith to
reason with OP but it was clear they just wanted to fight. So yeah, they got
banned. Ada’s a fantastic lady who’s been great at keeping the trolls at bay. >
Edit: and the bit about me misgendering them is also wrong. Gender didn’t come
into play until after I had left the conversation. English default on the
internet is male for strangers. Source:
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669
[https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669] WRT the statement that I accused
them of autism for not liking politics, further info is available here:
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669
[https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669]
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2320815
[https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2320815]
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2321026
[https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2321026]
I wish I could speak to another trans femme without them bringing up and gushing over fucking contrapoints, philosophy tube or some other
breadtuber.
That instance feels like it’s full of those types who talk down to you about their paper thin understanding of politics and social justice because “CONTRAPOINTS SAID SO!” or fucking Philosophy Tube ergghhhhhhh
and if you have a take left of starmer they scream authoritarian.
Gunna go in for a hard read now on blahaj.zone so bare with me.
BEING A MINORITY DOESN’T MAKE YOU A DECENT PERSON OR MAKE YOU MAGICALLY UNDERSTAND SOCIAL JUSTICE. LOG OFF AND READ A BOOK!
I don’t hate philosophy tube etc to be clear, I just find their videos to be self indulgent slop and her fan base to consistently be insufferable privileged and chauvinistic liberal white trans femmes that usually speak for others (themselves, they ignore anyone else trans) and are kinda problematic vs recognising there’s a thousands more of us who don’t earn dollar doing software dev and that our needs and material conditions are just as important as their own.
More neurodivergent queer CIA ghouls does not a liberated society make.
Neurotypical under capitalism just means passive wage slave.
Western psychology try not to undermine it’s own field of study by ignoring capitalisms impact on people’s mental health challenge: impossible
I mean, Freud’s greatest intervention was recognizing that “normative” is constructed and contingent on social norms (his “primitive society” being so depraved especially helps us see it). Even though dude was entirely wrong about everything biological, etc, you’d think the field would recognize what he got right and build on it, instead of, ironically, repressing its greatest potential.
Yeah I remember learning about some of his theories and everyone saying he was a complete hack but as you say, he got stuff right, it’s just the stuff he got right undermines our current system so is ignored and the stuff he got wrong overshadows it OR props up the status quo and people cherry pick it.
i think the problem with freud is that, outside of some lit studies, he isn’t really approached from a sociocultural perspective anymore. all of his most prominent theories, at least in pop culture, has been tossed into this grotesque wellness machine where they’re at best treated as tools to achieve personal happiness, and at worst used to erase the web of social relations and material conditions that forms an individual
Omg wellness training noooooo don’t bring it up it burns 😫
As a trans person stuck in a highly transmed, gatekeepy and pathologizing healthcare system, i’ve been through my share of psychotherapists (not really, i will have to go through at least two more ffs) and Freudians are the fucking worst. I mean, that’s not entirely correct, Jungians appear to be the same but nazi and i’m glad i never had a run-in with one of those freaks, but jfc do Freudians make my skin crawl. And when i ask around in local trans groups, hey, what’s your experience with this and that guy, yeah, the psychoanalytically oriented ones aren’t the ones any of us trust.
I get it, he’s got some nice ideas when he’s not doing his straight ass pulls and blatant mysogyny, he’s also an excellent prose writer and the charm of his Vienesse German even carries over into the English translations, i can give him credit for a lot of things. A lot of things outside of psychology. Yes, he was right about the constructedness of social norms, but you do not need Freud for that, any psychologist with the tiniest bit of background in leftist acedemia understands that part already, it’s been kind of at the center of all humanities for the last decades. Psychology doesn’t need more Freud, it needs more intersectional anticapitalism to understand that some people just have entirely different experiences than those within the normative framework that defines the illusion of normalcy in our system. And i know a psychologist who does that, and she’s got nothing to do with Freud, she just does the usual evidence-based cognitive behavorial therapy slop, but she’s read enough feminist theory and queer theory and anti-racist theory to understand where her biases lie and how to treat people correctly when their very existence is at odds with how society is “supposed” to work, and i’ve never seen anything like that from a Freudian, even though there’s ofc Freudian leftists. But even those appear to be permanently stuck with overvaluing and centering the experience and the intellectual idiosyncrasies of a single cishet dude that are just super fucking misleading about how the human mind works, that perpetuate a very lopsided and hierarchical doctor-patient relation and that mostly work on making the wildest assumptions about your patients and always one-upping and controlling them.
My special interest is bombing brown people
When they get older they’ll be heartless tankies don’t worry
They fucking better be 😤 I’ll be disappointed otherwise and upsetting me is a crime.
i feel like its generally the case. the longer youve been on hrt the more likely you are to be hard left. mostly because the longer the time youve been acting on being trans, the longer society has had to discriminate against you in some egregious way.
I can’t agree with this at all, as an ethnic minority I have seen way too many reactionaries among those who have been oppressed their entire lives.
Being a minority and having direct experience of discrimination do increase one’s revolutionary potential, but class also plays a substantial role (I’d argue an even larger one just from personal experience) as well as the ideological superstructures being imposed upon us.
Ultimately there are a lot of collaborationists across every segment of minorities, both within the imperial core and in the global south.
racism and trans stuff are similar in some ways but different in others, i think its not really right to equate them, very different experiences. the basic rub of it is there is a nonstop media campaign targeting trans people with blatant lies, the history of our community is largely embedded in socialist movements in america, there are inherent medical costs to most transitions, there are inherent painful and traumatizing sensations that you can open yourself to if you seek surgery, a possibility of familial ostracization, there is often a whiplash where you go from not being discriminated to discriminated (or vice versa, or discriminated on a new and different basis), and of course its likely that people have been physically and emotionally aggressive with you no matter what community youre in.
and then there are discriminatory acts in healthcare and so on, but these forms of discrimination can manifest in different and similar ways for poc, so a little complex there.
its still my experience that the vast majority of trans people are socialist and people become more active with socialist orgs the longer theyve been transitioned. i also think the fact that our community spans multiple ethnicities also has a factor in this rate of socialism, we all experience similar pains and have many things that unify us. and of course there are some shitty trans people out there, not saying there arent, but i feel like people are greatly overstating how many people are shitty in this thread.
I remember when I was still relatively fresh in my transition being introduced to another trans woman back in like the early 2010s and had been “out” for a few years but had only still recently gone full time, didn’t even have my name change done because I didn’t have the ~400 dollars to make it happen and I was so taken aback that she said outright “oh I’m a communist.” Was a bit of a major moment for me. I had a lot of seeds planted over the years between Occupy and just the financial crash but was still very much a lib. As time went on and suddenly the word socialism became less toxic it was a relatively quick shift to make, suddenly all those seeds ended up sprouting and it all just clicked together finally. Having more lived experience as trans and having come across a few people online and IRL that helped demystify it all really did help and I think that’s also a relatively big portion of it. We’re pushed towards the contradictions with our lived experiences while a solid portion of the community is already there able to explain the contradictions and demystify leftism.
I also remember early on despising the trans community because the communities I ended up finding were full of trans-medicalists and boomers with all the liberal trappings to be had. Completely exiled myself from trans discussions and attempted to never even mention it in any contexts. Finding /r/traaa was an opportunity to actually see more of the trans community and be happy with being trans and ended up kinda just being fine with being visibly trans, though it still sucks that people are shit. I do think the communities we build and the attitudes we allow are just as important as the lived experiences lest you have libs come in and try to paint it over leaving you wanting to just disconnect entirely because their answers suck.
lmao was it me?
yeah i remember thinking similar, but you should also take some of the stuff on reddit with a grain of salt, liberals trawl trans subreddits and upvote liberal trans people and downvote socialists regularly. really amplifies what is really a minority opinion among the larger trans community. you can tell by how many comments have a socialist bent but all the upvotes go to the one liberal opinion
oh fuck i can just see this in my mind
fucking gross
I hope you are correct but my
side can’t ignore the sheer amount of dickheads I’ve met and felt they were a lost cause which I try not to do as that feels scummy.
I think I’m just in my sad tankie phase when it comes to class consciousness and my own communities politics atm irl (anyway)
gotta remember that generally people tune out of trans spaces the longer theyve been on hrt. so a lot of trans communities are new transitioners and the long-transitioned and few ‘moms, dads, and vague parental figures’ that guide them to resources and pool the knowledge.
I’m still only a year in so would you say I’m in my leaving the nest phase?
still young, id say 4-5ish years on is when most people begin to radicalize a lot. though most are some sort of socialist anyways, they just become more serious about it
I think for me what I found difficult was that you could tell who was progressive/leftist/social justice advocate pre transition and who offers it lip service post transition when it benefits their specific personal needs but defends the status quo still and I found myself unable to tolerate the second group.
As someone who would be categorised as the first group (I hope) I tried to educate and engage but after getting dogpilled by lib rage, ostracised for being a tankie, seeing the shittest takes time and time again and watching these people destroying groups that would benefit trans people irl I grew exhausted and left.
I think I mentioned it in one of my first comments on here which is why after seeing that same energy in blahaj.zone i came here.
That feeling of frustration and powerlessness even around your own peeps just feels so isolating.
pls god no i don’t want to become an ultra
lmao I radicalized the day I came out to myself. I was on multiple tabs of lsd so “I’m lying to myself about gender” and “I’m lying to myself about liberalism” were the same realization.
the online trans space to living your life pipeline
The sad tankie phase is completely avoidable. Most of the ones you encounter online lack praxis. Active socialist practice in your community is inherently rewarding.
Class consciousness might not exist in our local communities in the way we would want to see it, but it is there.
In my experience this depends on stealth vs not-stealth. The stealth people wanting to blend and capable of it tend to deradicalise because they can fit into existing society, those that can not tend to hyper-radicalise because they need society to change for them.
maybe. i pass and i gotta tell you im never forgetting how people treated me in vulnerable moments
also there are plenty of times where im forced to out myself, particularly when dealing with insurance and medical, and i pretty much always get a sour and many times visceral reception because people feel ‘tricked’. i had a nurse very unprofessionally yell ‘WHAT’ at the top of her lungs when i was explaining i was trans and my basic medical history
I’m in a similar place currently, kinda, maybe, not really, i dunno.
I’ve had trans friends literally project their self hatred onto me because they resent that I “pass” (like i fucking do) and tell me bogus shit like I can’t get oestrogen because of x and y which lead me to sob to my doctor in a place of genuine suicidal intent because of what I’d been led to believe.
Lmao turns out it was bollocks what they said and here I am a year later happy af.
Problem is i’m still riddled with a lot of the misogynistic self hatred that my ex friend filled my head with like this feature is too masculine etc. I know she was wrong and why its all wrong but a year of shit like that and comments like “well you’re lucky your short unlike the rest of us” has made me feel super isolated and kinda low Key assimilatey when I’m around cis people.
Like I’m loud and proud and always ready to defend my community but if I’m genuinely passing I can’t help but enjoy it and soak it up like its validating the broken part of my self confidence issues or something.
I dunno, I still hear her voice in my head when I hate my reflection because I hyper focus on the things she did and its so hard so when I do pass I do stealth it and really enjoy it.
Does that make me a bad trans person?
Either way i wouldn’t ever defend assimilators and resent the idea that I would be one but at the same time I enjoy not having to be trans and that leaves me feeling kinda guilty.
That sort of stuff literally breaks my brain atm it’s so hard.
When people keep telling you that you pass, you most likely do, and you’re most likely hella cute as well, because people conflate high passing and being conventionally attractive a lot. And some people, including a lot of trans women, just can’t handle that. Our society teaches women to constantly monitor each others beauty and put each other down both when we’re not pretty enough and too pretty, we’re forced to constantly square the circle, to navigate this ridiculously narrow corridor between supposedly being an unsightly mess and supposedly being a shallow skank. And like most of mysogyny, that gets amplified further when you’re trans. I keep hearing stories like yours and they’re always from really beautiful trans girls who are resented for looking conventionally hotter or more cis-like than the person putting them down. Like, i just met this super cute trans girl and took her to a local meetup because she was afraid to go alone after some other trans woman had trash talked her for not doing enough about her voice at another get-together years ago - not only is that a horrible demand in general, voice work is hard and not everybody has the talent or the ressources or the time or the lack of voice dysphoria to pull through with it, no, she actually has a lovely voice, low-pitched but very smooth and feminine, a voice i could listen to all evening. But that other woman saw her and probably felt threatened and had to lash out. I had to think of that when you wrote about your ex.
And no, you’re absolutely not a bad trans person for stealthing once in a while. It’s a scary time we live in, and while it’s important that we’re visible and outspoken and let people know we’re actual human beings they know and not just some abstract “gender ideology”, it’s hard to be visible 24/7. When you put yourself out there most of the time, and when you reflect the way you do when you do that, and give people the opportunity to learn, that’s more than enough. From each according to their abilities also goes for activism, and there’s no shame in not wanting to be in the trenches permanently. Our survival and continued existence in itself constitutes a revolutionary act. Reaction wants us dead and being alive as a trans person and living your best life in itself defies the necropolitics of today’s fossil capitalism. Being able to take a break from the struggle is a form of privilege, as is being able to transition at all, or having enough money to pay out of pocket for surgeries, or living in a place with easier access to public trans health care, or being educated and able to articulate your existence in a convincing way, or being binary trans, or having had a supportive home and being able to accept yourself in ways other people can’t because their parents didn’t give them the love they would’ve deserved, or being a white trans person, or living in an area that makes it easier to access queer networks, but none of these are things you shouldn’t use as tools for your survival if you’re lucky enough to have them at your disposal. Cisfascism wants all of us dead, and we have a right to fight bacvk against it with anything we have at our hands, we should just be aware of and mindful towards people who don’t share some of our privilege instead of throwing them under the bus like the actual assimilationists do.
Thank you this means so much to hear and is very validating because I’ve really felt isolated as a result of it and I feel my mental health deteriorating because of the dysphoria I have but also told I’m not allowed to be dysphoric.
Thank you so much 🫂
Edit: genuinely so much I feel so accepted, also yes to everyone who saw us butt heads yesterday we are now friends again lmao
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fascist trans people are an extreme minority. ive only met 1 irl and we booted them from our local org, what was strange is they were also a finnish immigrant. ive interacted with 1000+ trans people in a fairly large city at this point. something around 90% are socialist, but most are not acting on that and are unorganized. i run an informal survey on a lot of things so we know how to help people more at our trans resources booth.
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it is pretty weird. the only reason we caught on that she was fascist is she started harping on jewish people after someone mentioned they were jewish
Do Nazis not realize how bizarre blatant antisemitism is to most people?
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what? its common practice that most trans spaces have a pronoun sticker printer for neopronouns
That doesn’t mean anybody has to respect them
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Flash that you’ve read Das Kapital and a quick wink wink nod nod to appease the libs and you’ve immediately captured the entirety of the “actual left” in the west 😮💨
Meanwhile the REAL left are on here posting PPB 💅
One of my favorite and only exceptions to this is Alexander Avilla, his videos on autism self-diagnosis and queerbaiting were legitimately life-changing for me. The way he focuses on theory more and actually understands it is just so refreshing.
I always thought Philosophy Tube was just hiding her power level for a lib audience.
She’s so based and down to earth anon!!! You’re just salty because you aren’t rich!!
literally acts like a fucking MP
Fr tho I think she de-fangs a lot of revolutionary potential in her fanbase by giving them a comfy lib adjacent take for them to cling to. I get it, I just don’t like it.
Then you should probably edit that you’ve misgendered her in that same sentence. Fucking gross, and it hurts doubly when it’s coming from another trans woman.
Where?! Are you being serious? I genuinely don’t get where I’ve misgendered her?
Oi! don’t fucking drop accusations like that without an example, I’m having a panic attack over this now.
Do you mean using their as the posessive to mean HER videos?
I’m sorry but I literally called her she in the same sentence and that should tell anyone I’m referring to what she owns or made and not her fucking gender.
Im sorry but you’ve absolutely read that the worst most bad faith way to the point it feels intentional.
You’ve even fucking spoken to me on here in comments and can view my past comments so i don’t get why you’ve chosen to jump on me for what is (according to two other commenters) bad grammar and paint me as someone who would misgender their own community.
Reaching dickhead.
Politely what’s your fucking problem?
I was, i either overlooked the “etc.” or somehow didn’t infer from it that you meant a plural “they”. I’m super fucking sorry for this. It was an honest mistake, and if you re-read that sentence in question and leave out the “etc.”, you can probably imagine how i came to these conclusions and how it felt to believe that a trans comrade did that kind of thing to another trans person.
Once more, i’m really really sorry for misreading you, and for causing that amount of distress. It’s always a particularly awful kind of pain when people from within the community jump at you with such accusations when they’re in the wrong, i know what that’s like, and i should’ve taken a second and reread your sentence before posting to avoid putting you through that kind of shit. That was negligent and careless of me and i should’ve given you more of a benefit of the doubt and double-checked what you wrote. Do you want me to edit that comment or should i leave it up? I really want to make this right and if you want me to remove or edit the comment, it’s the least i can do.
So for context this triggered my BPD giga hard and I’m still seething about it because being misrepresented as something I’m not specificially hits harder than other triggers and turns me into an endless firecracker of vitriol and defense mechanisms. As you well know being misrepresented by the media, the cis and trans libs cuts like a rusty blade and makes you feel alone when it comes from your own community.
So with that the above for context please understand my following reply with my current meltdown and emotional state considered:
Get fucked, try again another time.
You’re absolutely right, i’ll fuck off and leave you alone. If there’s anything you want to tell, you can DM me or message me openly at any point, but i get this isn’t a time where i can do anything to mend the harm i’ve caused and i’m out of here.
Both you and Tastysnack clearly have the best interest of yourselves and fellow trans comrades at heart. Sometimes passions can run hot, and we are reminded of the importance of solidarity. <3
❤️
generally dont consider using they/them to be misgendering tbh, i default to it in trans spaces when i dont know someones gender. but its clearly being used in the plural here
I’m making exceptions for when pronouns are unknown, or when you’re talking about people in general, and ofc for plural they like in this case that i’ve completely gotten wrong, but once we’re adressing known individuals who’ve stated their pronouns, i’m under the very firm assumption that if these people would be fine with they / them, they would state it as a secondary set of pronouns. When people do not do that, i will never use a singular they / them on them just as i wouldn’t he / him or she / her them if these aren’t their pronouns. I know there’s a bunch of folks both cis and trans who see this different than me and don’t mind it, but there absolutely are trans people who find it highly offensive and hurtful, including myself, and also including PhilosophyTube, who will block anybody they / theming her. British terfs are extremly fond of using they / them to deniably misgender binary trans people, too, it’s defintily not without its problems.
It absolutely is, i hope @Tastysnack@hexbear.net sees my apology in time and that it helps her at least a bit. She sounded so upset, it’s horrible i’ve wronged her like this.
Given the “etc”, I believe the use of “their” is meant as a plural pronoun, not a gender-neutral singular pronoun. Tastysnack’s last paragraph isn’t a case of misgendering but rather imperfect grammar, something we’ve all been guilty of.
Wait I thought their could be used to mean owning something? Is that wrong?
I thought you were using “their” as plural possessive, but it’s been a long time since I’ve been in an English class, ha. What’s important is that I understand you’re respecting people’s pronouns, regardless of the holes in our knowledge of grammar. :)
I thought that was grammatically correct especially since I used she like 3 or 4 words later specifically to refer to abigail and didn’t misgender her once or anyone ever.
That said I can with a slowly clearing mind post meltdown see that it could be construed as catty. disingenuous or outright erasure especially since I was ranting about her content and that hers would of being a better choice to avoid any misunderstanding.
In the end even having your he or she pronouns invalidated subtly by a lib using they can hurt when you know they are doing it out of spite and while I’d never do that, my choice of words can be construed as such maybe (if you squint and paint me as the opposite person to what my account behaviour would suggest) and I certainly won’t be making that mistake again.
Besides I’m shit at English and grammar so maybe I should stick to simple words and grammar anyway 😅
You were correct. Etc makes it plural here, so you should use “their” rather than the singular “her”. If there was an issue, it was the following conjunct [items combined with an “and”] being in reference to “her,” seemingly dropping the etc. Shorter sentences do make things easier, but I can never tell someone to do that since every sentence I write is run-on.
Errggghhhh my own first language is a joke. Japanese grammar makes more sense than this.
The “etc.” makes it plural, so the “their” is not misgendering because it refers to the trans breadtuber clique and not one of them in particular.
Philosophy tube etc. are a group of people. they/them is the correct pronoun to use for a group of people.
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I don’t disagree, but I think she and contra hold a special place in my heart cause they were really the start to my radicalization. Contra’s earlier videos really got me thinking outside of a capitalist mindset and got me to think “oh, there’s alternatives to capitalism, and gender, and blah blah blah”, then I read the manifesto, then I started listening to Teach Me Communism, and then I became a chronically online tankie lol. I feel like I’m not the onlyyyy one that did this (I have friends who I think consider themselves socialist and anticapitalist who still like some of Contra’s newer stuff), but I definitely feel like the vast majority of her fanbase is annoyingly liberal to a fault. In her recent ‘anti-JK Rowling’ lane she’s been pretty decent I think except for when she steps even slightly out of it.
Yeah and that’s great!
I dunno breadtube always annoyed me and most of the insufferable soc dem libs I know swear by it so I’m probably injecting a lot of bias into this in hindsight but…
ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH