Lpt: DO NOT ASK A PERSON IF THEY HAVE FOUND A JOB YET
If they have and you’re important enough to them, you’ll know when they tell you. If they haven’t told you, either it’s none of your GODDAMN BUSINESS or they’re still looking.
You asking just reminds them they don’t have a job. And if they’ve been looking for awhile, it’s even worse. Especially if you actually said “yet” or added in some other “it’s been awhile” modifier.
Nah, sorry. If you’ve got a lazy teenager (or even adult) living rent free in your basement, you have every right to pressure them about finding a job.
This is one of the toughest job markets I’ve ever experienced for specialized labor. I was part of the tech industry layoffs last year and I busted my ass for months before I got an offer. Many people I know are going through the same thing. It was honestly more draining than my actual job and I’d occasionally reach a burnout point where I couldn’t even look at listings without being consumed by anxiety and dread.
On top of that, I was still paying ludicrous rent prices because the housing market is also shite and by the end of my unemployed period my net worth had been cut by almost 50%. I’m fortunate enough to have had an emergency fund but having the option to live rent free in my parent’s basement sure would have been nice.
Obviously, every situation is different. But I’d advise anyone to be aware of the situation and ask how they can support somebody going through that rather than assuming they’re just being lazy and regularly pestering them.
Hopefully the child in question is actually applying for those jobs. It’s a tough job market which is why you need to try extra hard.
Learn some empathy.
Uhh what
As someone who struggled for almost a year before getting their first engineering job back in the day, telling someone to “just try harder” won’t help. Failing to find anything for so long puts you in a severe depression, where you just want to give up, but you can’t because you literally need money to live. So you’re in an awful limbo of not having the energy or willpower to try and make much progress, while people that claim to love you are making you feel like a lazy piece of shit for not getting anywhere. It’s literal hell.
I didn’t say “just try harder”, just that hopefully they’re applying to jobs since it is a tough job market where you need to try extra hard.
i dunno, that culture of everything (even your care for your son) being transactional and people kicking their kids out of the house at 18 for being “leeches” doesnt seem like it helps a lot. feels like extreme alienation.
it doesnt help that working and paying rent is significantly more difficult than it used to be for the previous generations. despite advancing technology we now have to slave away much worse to afford living.
all that said, i guess the problem its on the tone of it or how culture is in that regard, not so much about just the act of asking. i think capitalists have succesfully associated the grind with some sort of virtue.
Except pressuring them is counterproductive and demotivating. Just adds to their stress and shame
The right kind of positive reinforcement can help people who are feeling depressed and defeated. Sometimes just being there and letting them know they’re not alone in this, that they aren’t unique in hating the job hunt, and that we all know how dysfunctional the system is can be the sympathetic boost they need to give it another go.
Just ignoring and isolating someone who is struggling isn’t helpful either. Especially if they’re paralyzed by anxiety or confusion.
The stress and the shame comes from feeling like you don’t fit in. And the job hunting process necessarily involves a lot of rejections - often deeply personal rejections on subjects you had historically felt quite good about. Helping someone score even a minor W can count for a lot.
In my experience, one of the best cures to job hunt paralysis is volunteering. When you’re working with other people to do something useful and beneficial to others, you get the sense that you really do have skills and add value to others. Also, its a good way to get outside your bubble and meet people who might want to pay you to do shit. If nothing else, the folks you volunteer with are usually good for a referral.
But just hiding in a dark room all day is fucking awful for the human psyche.
They are living rent free. They don’t have any stress
not having any money is stressful as fuck.
not like living on the expense of others in a society where everything is about money feels any better either.
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If you’ve got a lazy teenager (or even adult) living rent free in your basement
I mean, pressure has its place. But when it becomes a particularly sore subject, especially in a tight job market, you’re just poking an open wound.
If you want to help someone get on their feet, maybe try… actually helping. “Hey, I found someone looking to hire an entry level thing-you-do and here’s the contact information” / “I saw a help-wanted sign over at the place that has jobs you’re looking to fill” / “I asked my friend if they have any openings at Company and it sounds like they might be willing to give you a referral” is vastly more helpful than “Have you tried looking online yet?”
Old people trying to help are always useless.
It was always something incredibly basic like:
“Have you tried writing a CV.”
Or incredibly stupid like
“Just march in there and demand a job.”
Or the most annoying.
“This person needs insert free labour, that’ll be good. No they can’t afford to hire anyone so you won’t get paid.”
Nepotism works, if you can use nepotism you might help. Otherwise you probably have no idea what you’re doing.
Nepotism works
We’re social animals, and going through a person who actually works at the company yields a significantly better rate of hire than just going through some opaque digital front door.
Thanks for your input, I will continue to ask them.
It’s a meme. It’s not supposed to be 100% accurate
Or, it’s supposed to be a depiction of an event, not a lesson of how people SHOULD behave.
The crystal generation! Now it looks bad to show interest in someone’s well being because it makes them uncomfortable for a few seconds. Also, only fucking God knows why it makes them uncomfortable!
The crystal generation!
Is this the new slang boomers are using now that “snowflake” gets you laughed out of the room? Doesn’t quite roll off the tongue the same. You should workshop it a little.
I could answer you but I won’t because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.
Ah okay it’s just trollbait, gotcha.
Did you grow empathy or a soul yet?
If you care about their well being, why ask questions you know make them feel uncomfortable?
Well, I don’t understand why it makes them uncomfortable. If I’m on the loop about a friend or a family member that is looking for a job then I can help them if I know of an opportunity. Telling someone you haven’t found a job should be something good that opens doors for you. But good to know. I just don’t understand why it has become so incredibly important to avoid being uncomfortable.
unless you currently work in their industry, there’s a good chance you are unlikely to be helpful. and asking regularly feels like pressure, not support, to someone who may already feel intensely pressured or distressed by their circumstances.
there’s a difference between being a little uncomfortable (ordinary, day-to-day stuff) and the kind of stress a person experiences who may be unable to meet their basic needs due to unemployment.
if you care, ask how you can be supportive once and do that. trust that if something changes (and there is some other way you can be helpful), that person will let you know.
edit - typo
Given:
- the current status of the housing market
- the job crisis that will come as a side effect of the AI revolution
- the climate change fuckfest that is coming in the next 20 years
I feel like this generation of young people might face something even worse than the great depression
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Not sure if this is the right place to start this conversation, but I find glassdoor much more pleasing and respectful than linkedin. If you’re struggling to get a job maybe give it a shot, it’s incredibly though out there right now, best of luck to all of you!!
Glassdoor has its kinks, but LinkedIn is just six MLMs in a trench coat.
All of MLM energy but for people with slightly better – but only slightly – bullshit detectors.
linkedin is Facebook for “professionals”
I’m back at the job I walked out on five months ago, started again today
Someone kill me please god end this it isn’t worth it nothing is worth this
I’m sure you had your reasons.
Employers prefer it if you are already taken.
Maybe stop being such a loser? Took me 10 months to learn to code while waiting tables to pay my rent and bills. Senior software engineer 4 years later. Just turn the suck down, work hard and smart.
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For americans: governmentjobs.com
Boomers are retiring and dying like flies.
usajobs.gov is the official posting site for federal government jobs. The link above is to some kind of commercial site trying to charge for what is freely available.
The link I posted is the site used by many state and local governments for job postings. It acts as a hub for hundreds of agencies in the country. Essentially everything non federal that has not seen quality applicants for generations.
I applied to like 80 jobs on usajobs.gov. didn’t get a single call back…for about 6 months. I had a job by that point.
I got a call back from almost every single job I applied for wanting an interview. Not joking. I got about 10 calls a week for around 2 months or so…like fucking hell guys, you could a called half a fucking year ago. Nobody can wait that long to be unemployed.
It is definitely a ‘lifestyle choice’ to hire on with the feds. Yes, everyone, be warned that Federal hiring is slow AF! I am trying to get on after losing a contract so my strategy is basically to find another job so I can job while I job!
It seems worth it for the job security and long term retirement benefits, but dang!
I got a entry-level job in local government and was quickly promoted then poached by another city.
I more than doubled my initial pay in 13 months and on top of that government jobs have bonkers benefits. I get medical, dental, and vision 100% covered, get 6 weeks off a year between vacation and comp time (plus another 3 weeks of sick leave), a ton of paid holidays, and the city double-matches my retirement, so I put in 7% and get 21%.
Government jobs are where it’s at if you want stability and good benefits. The pay can be on the low side, but after the cost of insurance and proper retirement planning, the private sector isn’t always a lot better.
And knowing that I’m helping to make the town better instead of filling some rich asshole’s pockets is a lot more satisfying.
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Impressive amount of anger in these comments
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Obligatory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WINDtlPXmmE
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help
My older brother went through this recently after losing his job and not finding one again for another several months. Thankfully, he got hired on at a new place right before Christmas! I’m so very happy for him!
I’m lucky enough that my current field is very small and it’s generally pretty easy to get a callback from an employer. But I remember when I wasn’t in this field and had to spend hours a day filling out a zillion applications hoping maybe 1 in 100 would give you a call back.
There has got to be a better system. Especially because every single online job application website makes you both upload a copy of your resume and then manually re type out the whole thing again. It makes these things take infinitely longer than they should. Why???
Who looks for jobs on Linked In.
Linked In is Facebook for people who want to return to full time office working.
I completely agree with your second line and despise it, but I have found my last several jobs on LinkedIn so it’s not totally worthless.
All I get is job agency spam on LinkedIn
Then your profile sucks. Mine did, too.
I made my profile look like my resume. And then tweaked it until the inmail I got was for jobs I wanted.
Part of it comes down to knowing how to write a good resume, the other part is gaming the keywords so your profile shows up in a good recruiter’s results.
I still responded to every single message though because I’m pretty sure engagement metrics makes you more/less visible to prospective recruiters.
Got my previous job because I was easy to find on LinkedIn. Got my current job on a different continent by contacting people through LinkedIn. Yes there is a lot of of bullshit but it can be pretty useful too.
Might just be my industry (Accounting/Finance), but LinkedIn has also been great for me.
The first job out of college is always the hardest. I spent months sending out hundreds of resumes for a dozen interviews. But each job since then, I’ve only had to send out two or three before I had an offer.
Oddly, I’m back working for the same company I started at. I could be making more by job-hopping, but I realized that once I’m making enough money, I would rather take a pay cut then have the increased stress, poor benefits, and longer hours.
I think LinkedIn works best for somewhat specialized workers with higher education, credentials or specialized experience. I too have found my last two jobs there. It was useless for years but I recently hit a threshold apparently and it suddenly has become a good resource.
Wisdom! I get bored after a couple of years, so I’m mostly chasing the adventure, so I have changed industries and country recently without earning more.
What job site do you think is the holy grail
Not OP, but I use Google Jobs where they aggregate jobs from every job website. I have around 40 job keyword alerts and get the daily new jobs in a 50 km radius. The only bad thing about this are the duplicates from similar keywords, so I wrote a python script that creates an Excel file with unique jobs from the mails and the most important job information.
This is impressive!
Having trouble finding info on this… Is this some sort of app? Not seeing info after doing web searches or checking the store and it sounds useful.
I had this problem myself and really don’t understand why this is so hard to find. My wife used a year ago and I wasn’t able to find this feature again, so I looked in her browser history and found it. There isn’t even a short accessible link, I can give you only this. Fill in your keywords, set the radius and in the lower left you can activate the alert. You need to be logged in with a gmail though to use the alerts.
Also it may not work on mobile and sometime I have problems with Firefox as well. If you want to be sure use Google Chrome on a desktop for this. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is another stab to Firefox users.
Google Jobs? Just Google “[job title] jobs near me” and a thing will pop up in the results.
I just did it and just got results from indeed, LinkedIn, etc. Maybe ublock treats it as an ad?
Maybe. Just checked mobile and it didn’t work so maybe desktop only too.
There isn’t one because there are no jobs. But it certainly isn’t Linked In.
There are no jobs!!
Have you checked Linkedin?
No, it’s garbage.
Smh
LinkedIn should be looking for jobs for you.
If you set up your profile correctly, LinkedIn will function as your agent and bring YOU job leads.
At least that’s how I used it.
