This is some “raises up spork” shit.
Not a fan of the negative tone of OOP, tbh.
The message here imo is less “you must be awful if women aren’t fucking you” and more “looks don’t matter, be chill.”
Some genuinely nice men who are socially awkward/autistic might see this and take it to heart that they are bad at their core.
Y’all are free to post your own picks in the replies. No judgement (probably).
No it’s because I don’t leave my house anymore unless I’m going to work or grocery shopping because I haven’t been drinking at bars, and I don’t use apps. My carapace may not be as chitinous as a xenomorph, and have me beat with the acid blood, but my personality is books and jokes, and at least I don’t reproduce parasitically…(wait…shit I guess we do…)
If you’re looking for excuses to go out that isn’t drinking at bars - Look into book clubs, silent book readings, art classes and board game meetups…
Most of my friends are not alcoholics, where I like drinking but hate the noise of bars. All of those events cater to all types!
Hey those aren’t bad ideas, thanks!
Men can be monster fuckers too! I would know.
Yes wasp queen, use your ovipositor. I’m ready~
Oh yeah
(me eyeing some Elden Ring beasts all hornily)
Hey! This is one of those texts that no matter how many times I read it I still have absolutely zero clue what it’s saying.
There’s a trend where you print an unorthodox fictional character that you want to bone on a cake and then make your case for why they’re attractive.
OOP is saying that from what they’ve seen, men generally choose characters that everyone considers hot and women choose fucked-up, grotesque monsters.
The thesis of the post being: If women don’t wanna fuck you then you’re doing something crazy wrong because some of them want to fuck the xenomorph from Alien.
There’s a trend where you print an unorthodox fictional character that you want to bone on a cake and then make your case for why they’re attractive.
This doesn’t make any sense to me. I’m imagining someone holding a cake with piece of paper laying on top of it which has a disney character printed on it and the person is explaining why they want to have sex with said character. Even if that is exactly what it’s describing it still doesn’t make any sense to me. That entire scenario is completely incoherent to me. What does the cake have to do with anything and why does there need to be a picture printed? Who are they making the case for and why?
The cake aspect is weird and I don’t know why it’s part of it. Don’t get caught up on that. It’s almost like how at gender reveal parties they do colored icing in a cake, but the cake itself is not necessarily inherent to the gender reveal. “Hear me out” scenario is a thing. People were doing a trend where they put them in cakes. Why? No real reason. Doesn’t really make sense.
Maybe it started with something more specific like getting a cake with an image of a “hear me out” character printed on it and evolved to people putting them on sticks in the cake.
In any case, I’m actually doing this for a friend’s birthday party this weekend. I’ll let you know what happens.
Sounds like you understand the scenario, though.
Less Disney character and more fucked-up horror character though. When I say ‘unorthodox’ I mean ‘no sane person has sexual thoughts about this creature.’
I elaborated on my reply. I just don’t get it.
That’s fair, but you did accurately describe the scenario in your reply. So you at the very least understand what the scenario is, even if you don’t get the motivation.
Seriously. Who the fuck actually wastes their time on this shit?
Edit: Self-reflection creeps in as I realize I’m just getting old and these kids on my lawn are just speaking their idiot slang.
Same. I read these and it gets so surreal, I need to share it.
Dunno if it’s like kids eating tidepods where a few did it and now it’s a national meme, or if this is just the deep basements of Tumblr.
Much like the tidepod thing when only a very small number of people actually ate them and most were just making shit posts, I don’t think most people literally genuinely want to have sex with many of these things. There is something to be said for enjoying the aesthetic of a kink, but not wanting to actually engage in it.
Eating Tide pods wasn’t even a bit real. A few children tried to make videos where they pretend to eat them, but simply biting one and spitting it straight out can kill you as they’re so reactive with the tissue in your mouth that they liquify your tongue, flow to your throat, liquify that, flow to your lungs, and liquify enough of those that you suffocate. The media reported this as children eating tide pods for tiktok, so more children tried making fake videos off the back of that, not realising that they were doing the dangerous thing rather than a danger-adjacent safe-wish thing.
It just sounds like two different age groups were being described, not two genders
Nah, there were definitely guys with wild picks as well. The most memorable for me was the guy that chose the number 8. Although, I guess this example works against my point, cause it shows that guys would fuck anything with curves and holes.
I have never used TikTok, so maybe they’re right about this, but there’s a good chance that selective memory bias is at play here, which is when you only focus on the examples that prove your preexisting beliefs and forget about all the examples that didn’t.
Ha, the explanation is probably even more simple. The ones that were wild were liked and shared, the ones that were normal didn’t get any engagement.
You can’t get good metrics from social media without being able to access the entire data set.
True, there’s a good chance this wasn’t a scientific endeavor.
True, there’s a good chance people will treat it as such anyway.
Yes. You. You’re the people.
Or…or…hear me out: society and social media has bred a collection of individuals that do stupid shit strictly just to generate traffic. I highly doubt any of those women would ever, if actually faced with those, do it or want to. It’s for the shock value and to get the interaction going. Basically ‘any publicity is good publicity’.
There are people paying obscene amounts of money for certain… subjects to be portrayed. I guarantee you the majority are not doing it for shock value. https://inv.nadeko.net/watch?v=pq0kqhhi344 Some of the pictures there are… problematic.
This started out way more fun than it ended
Like seriously, how do you go from “haha these people have silly horny thoughts” to “you’re an insufferable human being if you can’t get laid”? That sounds like what a middle school bully might say.
“As long as you don’t have any standards, you can get laid!”
Gee, thanks.
It’s just sugar coated misandry.
Wait, wait wait.
Tell me about the part where we get to eat cake.
No no no, you get to have the cake, not eat it, too.
You can’t eat the cake and have it too.
I’d argue that’s the correct order of operations.
I’m not much up for eating the cake after having it.
It is. People have been saying it wrong.
Its not just girls that wanna smash the Xenomorph
I choose things I would want to fuck based on how I think it would physically feel. I don’t think fucking a concept or a xenomorph would be physically pleasurable. I mean, sure the xeno is wet but they also look like they’d be hard; like fucking a sea shell.
Also their bodily fluids are extremely corrosive.
That’s the fun part!
Ah. A masochist!
Not personally, but I dont think the vanillas wanna fuck a xenomorph lol. Their loss 🤷♂️
Instructions unclear: I tried to smash the cake and now I have a toothpick stuck in my hand
Oh, stuck in your hand! Could’ve been worse.
