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Maven (famous)@lemmy.zip to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 8 months ago

AITAH?

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AITAH?

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Maven (famous)@lemmy.zip to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish · 8 months ago
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  • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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    8 months ago

    He sucked 100 dicks and with that knowledge and experience in the end he finally chose hers.

    Remember that.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      When you’re bi curious, but you also respect the scientific method and so you require a large sample size to make an informed decision.

  • SynonymousStoat@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    In a row?

    • ϻеƌųʂɑ@sh.itjust.works
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      8 months ago

      Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!

      • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        Hey get back here!

        • CptEnder@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          I wasn’t even supposed to be here today!

    • neatchee@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      I’m not even supposed to be here today!

    • djsoren19@yiffit.net
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      8 months ago

      It’s written almost as if he did it the night before the wedding, which would be an impressive trick for a bachelor party.

      • evidences@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        There was that one episode of the dropout show breaking news where we find out grant blew 50 dudes in one night at a warehouse party in New York, 100 in a single night would be next level.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Supposedly the wife of the emperor Claudius had a contest with a prostitute to see how many men each one of them could fuck within 24 hours.

          (It was probably just propaganda, but it was in I, Claudius anyway.)

      • Olhonestjim@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        I mean impressive, but not unachievable.

    • ceenote@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Just bring her lasagna at work. She’ll get over it.

      • BarqsHasBite@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Until her fashion designer ex shows up.

        • BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee
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          8 months ago

          theres a million fine lookin women out there

          not all of them bring you lasagna at work…most of em just cheat on you

    • DreamButt@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      No simultaneously

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Nah in a column.

  • ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml
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    8 months ago

    It’s not dick sucking quantity that matters, but dick sucking quality

    • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      “I swear I really went for it, babe. I was buckling knees…”

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      8 months ago

      Hard disagree. It’s about optimizing the dick sucking.

      I’m betting if you line three guys into a triangle, you can suck three dicks at once.

      This will allow you hit 99 dicks in only 33 sucking motions.

      • Snowyday@startrek.website
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        8 months ago

        Middle out! Middle out!

        https://youtu.be/Ex1JuIN0eaA?si=aQdrTujjqzhtNQKp

      • P00ptart@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Yeah if you have a jaw that can be unhinged like a snake.

    • frezik
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      8 months ago

      Quantity has a quality all its own. Jumps into pile of dicks.

    • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      ¿Por que no los dos?

  • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    It’s surprisingly not that hard to put up those kinds of numbers. It does not matter your gender or physical appearance, you can find at least one hundred guys willing to let you suck their dick.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      8 months ago

      I’m afraid to test your theory.

      • NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        If you do test their theory, get tested often.

        • Vandals_handle@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          They already completed the multiple choice section of the test.

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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      8 months ago

      My experience on Grindr says otherwise.

      • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Sometimes you’ve gotta be brave enough to check out the blank profiles lol.

        • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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          8 months ago

          I kinda think that’s a bit of the problem. So many picless profiles that are “dl” and I’m out and loud about it.

          • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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            8 months ago

            deleted by creator

      • Match!!@pawb.social
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        8 months ago

        but, you seem so cute

      • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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        8 months ago

        Live near a major city?

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.comBanned
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      8 months ago

      it turns out it’s a lot harder if you don’t care from the get go. Asexual representation goes hard.

  • ntma@lemm.eeBanned
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    When I first got together with my wife she insisted that neither of us share with each other of our past relationships or sexual experiences. I was fine with it because I always believed in the ignorance is bliss mantra for certain circumstances. After about a decade of marriage and a couple of kids she starts asking and stuff. I didn’t really want to share but she told me about how she had a threesome while in college a couple of times. I did admit that I was a bit jealous. She also told me that she slept around a lot in college and that her count was like 50-60 she can’t really remember. But then she asked about mine and that’s when I told her about the escorts. That’s when she got mad about me telling her about my past.

    • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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      that’s when I told her about the escorts.

      Jesus Christ, never admit that you drove a Ford.

      • Schmuppes@lemmy.today
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        Unless it was a smoking hot Cosworth RS.

        • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          Tbh I kinda want one of the Rancheros (or an El Camino, but). They’re just slick as fuck lmao.

          • Schmuppes@lemmy.today
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            8 months ago

            Business in the front and party in the back. The automotive mullet.

            • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              The perfect car and the perfect hair, what else could ya need?! Perfect for any situation!

    • Ibaudia@lemmy.world
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      I mean… it’s probably good to talk about these things before getting married, since it will inevitably lead to unresolved feelings later on. I wouldn’t mind if, for instance, my partner was a slut while I was a sexless virgin before we got together, but I would at least want to know that about them. In my mind you’re supposed to talk about your life experiences with your partner, and sex is falls under that umbrella. Idk, maybe I’m weird for thinking that.

  • NeptuneOrbit@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    As long as it wasn’t in a row

    • 9point6@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Are you envisaging a sort of grid arrangement?

      • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        No a spiral. Makes the ol’ suck and tug much easier.

      • Scratch@sh.itjust.works
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        8 months ago

        Sequential list, surely. Though maybe you could suck off the current and .next at the same time.

    • BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org
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      8 months ago

      What if was in a column?

    • Moops@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Don’t kink shame me!

    • nnullzz@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      If you found the Optimal Tip-to-Tip efficiency it’s doable.

      • ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Don’t forget to account for girth similarity.

        • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Fucking billionaires.

    • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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      8 months ago

      How about if it was all at the same time?

      • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Paging MC’s porn producing cousin SM Escher!

    • BeigeAgenda@lemmy.caBanned
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      8 months ago

      He was lying about that repetitive strain injury all along. 😮

    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      What about side to side

  • lefixxx@lemmy.world
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    She’s just upset because her number is so low comparingly

  • Mango@lemmy.world
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    How do you get 100+ people to let you suck their dicks? Asking for a friend.

    • slacktoid@lemmy.ml
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      You ask politely one at a time.

      Doesn’t have to be polite all the time either.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      You start with hello

      • CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Hello. (Am I doing this right?)

        • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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          8 months ago

          So uh… 🍆?

          Nah j/k! Haha lol! Unless… 👀

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      A large bachelor party, some knockout gas and a lot of Viagra.

  • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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    i just cant imagine giving a shit about this. like how insecure do you have to be after 16 years to care??

    • can@sh.itjust.works
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      The joke is after 16 years finding out your husband is into cock.

      • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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        ahh, yeah i dont live in a world where that kind of gender issue matters.

        • zaph@sh.itjust.works
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          You don’t think knowing your partner of 16 years’ sexual preferences is important?

          • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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            meh. who did they marry again? me? groovy.

            • can@sh.itjust.works
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              It’s not that it matters, but I would feel bad that my partner didn’t feel comfortable enough to share that part of them after so long.

              • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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                i could see that. its really not about the sex or preference, its about trust in information. that is something every relationship must contend with making this rather pedestrian

            • zaph@sh.itjust.works
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              I get the feeling you think I’m saying this because of insecurities or something. I just think it’s important to know what your partner likes and doesn’t like. I’d feel pretty alone if I was with someone I couldn’t express my desires to even if they can’t fulfill them and wouldn’t want my partner to feel that way.

              • originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com
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                8 months ago

                nope, we said the same thing

    • RagingHungryPanda@lemm.ee
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      8 months ago

      Woosh

    • lone_faerie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      8 months ago

      Right? My partner’s sex life before me is irrelevant to the relationship

  • raynethackery@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Well, I mean, as long as you made enough to afford the engagement ring.

  • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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    At once?

    • ZeffSyde@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      In a row?!

      • ✺roguetrick✺@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Why’d you have to suck their dick, I mean why couldn’t you sleep them like a decent person?

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1OQl89ewXvc

        • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          so if he makes his wife lasagna… I don’t see the problem.

  • wondrous_strange@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Did he try to explain to her that 20$ is 20$?

  • cRazi_man@lemm.ee
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    8 months ago

    Same one 100 times? Or 100 different ones?

    • 𝕾𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖞 𝕿𝖚𝖓𝖆@lemmy.world
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      I fear not the man who has sucked 10,000 cocks once, but I fear the man who has sucked one cock 10,000 times.

      • massive_bereavement@fedia.io
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        Let’s say he sucked at least three per each weekday and rested on weekends, it would take an average of 12 years and six months to suck so many dicks.

        If otherwise would just stick to the one, again resting on weekends, that could make it a 38 year commitment.

        My advice to you is if you wanna be the man who sucks 10,000 cocks, commit to at least three per day. (You can rest on weekends)

        • emmanuel_car@fedia.io
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          8 months ago

          Oh boy, do I have some catch up to do.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Was hard to tell. Just kinda grabbed whatever came through the hole in the wall.

  • LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works
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    8 months ago

    Haha gay

    • Mango@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      Penis

  • badhops@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    oh hey did you just watch Clerks

    • CptEnder@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      In a row?!

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